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-   -   Retiring early "need to do something" stigma (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/1033270-retiring-early-need-do-something-stigma.html)

twobone 06-27-2019 05:55 AM

Retiring early "need to do something" stigma
 
Hi,

I have worked hard (30 years at the same bank) and invested religiously including money received from insurance when my 1st wife passed away.

When she passed away 15 years ago, I decided that I would focus my energies on retiring early and maximize my enjoyment of the "2nd half of my life".

Now as I get closer, the majority of folks I talk to seem to frown upon this idea that I would stop working and just enjoy life. I'm often told that I should look for new challenges in a different line of work or stay working into my 60s at my painfully boring job to maximize my pension.

As a middle manager who never really enjoyed working at the bank, I'm not really qualified at anything and I hate my job.

As an introvert, I want to spend my time outdoors with my wife, dog and kids. I want to ride my dirt bike, snowboard in the winter, travel a bit, play my guitar, paint a some landscapes, join some hobby clubs, etc..

Any advice on responding to the stigma and addressing comments that I should "achieve something"? I have watched too many people die and my most precious resource is time. I want to maximize my happy relaxed time.

Jeff Hail 06-27-2019 06:00 AM

Get out there. Follow your heart and don't look back. Do what inspires you.

dad911 06-27-2019 06:01 AM

They are jealous. Go for it. I could have retired 10 years ago, regret not doing it.

996AE 06-27-2019 06:03 AM

Been retired 10+ years now. Retired at 50.

Life is short.

If you have hobbies and the money to enjoy them why work. Work is a means to an end. Few people are working in their passion. I might still be working if I was a Race Car, paid driver as an example.

My problem is I have too many hobbies and not enough time to enjoy them all. And I am retired.

Between volunteer opportunities, travel, cars, boats, motorcycles, racing, sailing, surfing, cycling etc... life is full.

I also have a wife, children and friends.

Work is over rated.

Part of my motivation.

1. One guy had a stroke in the boardroom
2. A year later a senior executive had a heart attack and died
3. A friend of mine died of cancer

All of these men died well before 50 and never retired.

If you can financially swing it do it.

Cajundaddy 06-27-2019 06:07 AM

Most studies suggest that as men we get a lot of our self worth from being responsible for something or someone, so a pure life of leisure is often pretty unsatisfying. Coaching youth sports, ski patrol, mentoring, or consulting, are often ways to keep a sense of responsibility while freeing your schedule a lot to do more travel and adventure.

I recently sold off a big piece of by business and am adjusting to this new reality as well. It is a balancing act keeping my hand in the game while freeing my schedule for interesting pursuits.

1990C4S 06-27-2019 06:07 AM

Approximate age?

Have you ever done volunteer work?

Bob Kontak 06-27-2019 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 996AE (Post 10505081)
Between volunteer opportunities, travel, cars, boats, motorcycles, racing, sailing, surfing, cycling etc... life is full.

I like the thoughts of charity work to help keep you grounded while living among the more funner options.

herr_oberst 06-27-2019 06:27 AM

Screw 'em. If you and your family are going to be comfortable with your decision, then move on. If you don't, your resentment towards any pitfalls will magnify and you'll just be angry and hate yourself for not making the leap on your timeline - that YOU spent 30 years planning for.

Chances are very good that some other line of work will find you that makes you happy while you're out there doing the outdoor activities that keep you sane. It might be part time, it might be volunteering at the food bank or the tool library or maybe you can take ski patrol training, but you don't have too search for it, you can let it happen organically.

Like dad911 said, the naysayers are probably jealous.

twobone 06-27-2019 06:36 AM

thanks for the thoughts
 
Yes I agree volunteering is likely in the cards.

I'm 50 and hope to retire in 2 years. I also have the reasonable expectation of receiving some pretty significant inheritance in ~5-8 years....so why wait till then?

I take a 50% pension cut if I leave at 52 versus 62...but then I think 10 more years of this drudgery...not sure I can take it. Lots of folks express that I'm nuts to walk away from that money.

What they don't know is that I have my kids education saved for and I have a pretty solid financial plan (vetted by a financial planner).

I think where I'm landing is to retire from the bank in a year....maybe work part time somewhere if I'm bored or if the financial plan isn't panning out.

group911@aol.co 06-27-2019 06:37 AM

As long as your retirement plan isn't sitting on the couch watching TV, go for it.
Stay active and engaged. Boredom kills as much as stress.

vash 06-27-2019 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dad911 (Post 10505080)
They are jealous. Go for it. I could have retired 10 years ago, regret not doing it.

THIS!! hell, i'm jealous.

sucks to lose a wife. sounds like you adjusted your thinking perfectly. she would want that for sure.

reap your rewards bud. you earned it, nobody yammering in your ear knows the journey you've traveled.

twobone 06-27-2019 06:41 AM

the spousal question...
 
"Screw 'em. If you and your family are going to be comfortable with your decision, then move on."

Well this is the item that can be the real challenge. My wife bounces back and forth with this.....she is nervous about my idea and has no understanding of the markets.

Her own line of work (occupational therapy) is rewarding and exhausting at the same time. She needs a hip replacement...so I think she is starting to come around to the idea that slowing down might be a good idea.

Getting her on board is the key....happy wife....happy life

vash 06-27-2019 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twobone (Post 10505122)
....happy wife....happy life

moment of silence to let this truth sink in.

twobone 06-27-2019 06:49 AM

I also like "cheaper to keep her". Not getting divorced is probably the #1 financial plan rule I have.

When my buddies wife joked with him about "would he ever leave her?", he responded he doesn't like poverty....probably not the answer she was looking for

wdfifteen 06-27-2019 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twobone (Post 10505073)
As an introvert, I want to spend my time outdoors with my wife, dog and kids. I want to ride my dirt bike, snowboard in the winter, travel a bit, play my guitar, paint a some landscapes, join some hobby clubs, etc..

Any advice on responding to the stigma and addressing comments that I should "achieve something"? I have watched too many people die and my most precious resource is time. I want to maximize my happy relaxed time.

I have no advice as to what to say to them. Why do you need to say anything?
Get out there and live your life. They can live theirs.

I was similarly advised when I announced I was quitting my prestigious engineering job with a pension and great benefits to start a publishing company. I had the courage to walk the high wire with no net. I never looked back and have had no regrets.

wdfifteen 06-27-2019 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by group911@aol.co (Post 10505117)
As long as your retirement plan isn't sitting on the couch watching TV, go for it.
Stay active and engaged. Boredom kills as much as stress.

Ha! MrsWD says, "If you rest you rust." A lot of truth in that.

LEAKYSEALS951 06-27-2019 07:06 AM

perhaps not an option, but is there a part time position at the bank- say 1-3 days a week? If so- trying that out. You'd get the best of both world, a little bit of job, and more time to test run the "days off" to see how it works out for you.

MBAtarga 06-27-2019 07:06 AM

No one on their death bed ever said - I wish I would have worked for another 10 years!

wdfifteen 06-27-2019 07:11 AM

I thought I would work until I died, but things changed. I retired at age 67 to enjoy my hobbies. Immediately started having arthritis problems that make it hard (painful) to enjoy my hobbies. I wish I had retired 10 years earlier.

Tobra 06-27-2019 07:20 AM

You are considering retirement to make you happy, not to make "them" happy


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