Retiring early "need to do something" stigma
 

Hi,

I have worked hard (30 years at the same bank) and invested religiously including money received from insurance when my 1st wife passed away.

When she passed away 15 years ago, I decided that I would focus my energies on retiring early and maximize my enjoyment of the "2nd half of my life".

Now as I get closer, the majority of folks I talk to seem to frown upon this idea that I would stop working and just enjoy life. I'm often told that I should look for new challenges in a different line of work or stay working into my 60s at my painfully boring job to maximize my pension.

As a middle manager who never really enjoyed working at the bank, I'm not really qualified at anything and I hate my job.

As an introvert, I want to spend my time outdoors with my wife, dog and kids. I want to ride my dirt bike, snowboard in the winter, travel a bit, play my guitar, paint a some landscapes, join some hobby clubs, etc..

Any advice on responding to the stigma and addressing comments that I should "achieve something"? I have watched too many people die and my most precious resource is time. I want to maximize my happy relaxed time.

Get out there. Follow your heart and don't look back. Do what inspires you.

They are jealous. Go for it. I could have retired 10 years ago, regret not doing it.

Been retired 10+ years now. Retired at 50.

Life is short.

If you have hobbies and the money to enjoy them why work. Work is a means to an end. Few people are working in their passion. I might still be working if I was a Race Car, paid driver as an example.

My problem is I have too many hobbies and not enough time to enjoy them all. And I am retired.

Between volunteer opportunities, travel, cars, boats, motorcycles, racing, sailing, surfing, cycling etc... life is full.

I also have a wife, children and friends.

Work is over rated.

Part of my motivation.

1. One guy had a stroke in the boardroom
2. A year later a senior executive had a heart attack and died
3. A friend of mine died of cancer

All of these men died well before 50 and never retired.

If you can financially swing it do it.

Most studies suggest that as men we get a lot of our self worth from being responsible for something or someone, so a pure life of leisure is often pretty unsatisfying. Coaching youth sports, ski patrol, mentoring, or consulting, are often ways to keep a sense of responsibility while freeing your schedule a lot to do more travel and adventure.

I recently sold off a big piece of by business and am adjusting to this new reality as well. It is a balancing act keeping my hand in the game while freeing my schedule for interesting pursuits.

Approximate age?

Have you ever done volunteer work?

I like the thoughts of charity work to help keep you grounded while living among the more funner options.

Screw 'em. If you and your family are going to be comfortable with your decision, then move on. If you don't, your resentment towards any pitfalls will magnify and you'll just be angry and hate yourself for not making the leap on your timeline - that YOU spent 30 years planning for.

Chances are very good that some other line of work will find you that makes you happy while you're out there doing the outdoor activities that keep you sane. It might be part time, it might be volunteering at the food bank or the tool library or maybe you can take ski patrol training, but you don't have too search for it, you can let it happen organically.

Like dad911 said, the naysayers are probably jealous.

thanks for the thoughts
 

Yes I agree volunteering is likely in the cards.

I'm 50 and hope to retire in 2 years. I also have the reasonable expectation of receiving some pretty significant inheritance in ~5-8 years....so why wait till then?

I take a 50% pension cut if I leave at 52 versus 62...but then I think 10 more years of this drudgery...not sure I can take it. Lots of folks express that I'm nuts to walk away from that money.

What they don't know is that I have my kids education saved for and I have a pretty solid financial plan (vetted by a financial planner).

I think where I'm landing is to retire from the bank in a year....maybe work part time somewhere if I'm bored or if the financial plan isn't panning out.

As long as your retirement plan isn't sitting on the couch watching TV, go for it.
Stay active and engaged. Boredom kills as much as stress.

THIS!! hell, i'm jealous.

sucks to lose a wife. sounds like you adjusted your thinking perfectly. she would want that for sure.

reap your rewards bud. you earned it, nobody yammering in your ear knows the journey you've traveled.

the spousal question...
 

"Screw 'em. If you and your family are going to be comfortable with your decision, then move on."

Well this is the item that can be the real challenge. My wife bounces back and forth with this.....she is nervous about my idea and has no understanding of the markets.

Her own line of work (occupational therapy) is rewarding and exhausting at the same time. She needs a hip replacement...so I think she is starting to come around to the idea that slowing down might be a good idea.

Getting her on board is the key....happy wife....happy life

moment of silence to let this truth sink in.

I also like "cheaper to keep her". Not getting divorced is probably the #1 financial plan rule I have.

When my buddies wife joked with him about "would he ever leave her?", he responded he doesn't like poverty....probably not the answer she was looking for

I have no advice as to what to say to them. Why do you need to say anything?
Get out there and live your life. They can live theirs.

I was similarly advised when I announced I was quitting my prestigious engineering job with a pension and great benefits to start a publishing company. I had the courage to walk the high wire with no net. I never looked back and have had no regrets.

Ha! MrsWD says, "If you rest you rust." A lot of truth in that.

perhaps not an option, but is there a part time position at the bank- say 1-3 days a week? If so- trying that out. You'd get the best of both world, a little bit of job, and more time to test run the "days off" to see how it works out for you.

No one on their death bed ever said - I wish I would have worked for another 10 years!

I thought I would work until I died, but things changed. I retired at age 67 to enjoy my hobbies. Immediately started having arthritis problems that make it hard (painful) to enjoy my hobbies. I wish I had retired 10 years earlier.

You are considering retirement to make you happy, not to make "them" happy

Haha.

My wife sometimes looks at me lovingly and says, ...till Death!

I reply. Who’s death?

That would make me very, very nervous.

Yep. I guess I just made an assumption that the naysayers were colleagues and friends.

Absolutely make this a decision that fits your family comfortably.

(And regarding your wife, see the thread about the hip replacement, July 30 is my 1 year anniversary and like I said in that thread, I wish I'd 'a done it years ago.)

Haha, people with much less than you who have to work til they drop, telling someone who has put himself in a position to retire in his early 50s that he needs to “achieve something.”

I retired last year at just over 50, it has been better than expected. Simply loving life, every minute.

I never get the comment or stigma that I should achieve something. I guess the people around me have more common sense than that, haha.

What do I do every day? I go for a nice walk and think for an hour. I actively manage my investments, which includes income real estate (I could hire a management company but don’t want to). I spend a fair amount of time helping others, which I love. House projects. Some traveling. Watch movies. Learn a language. I’m never bored and there’s actually not enough time to do all the things I want to.

Things I don’t do much any more: watch the news. Almost never. Argue with anyone. No need to. Get dressed up. Never liked that. Work on cars. For some reason my interest in that, which I’ve had since I was 12, has left me.

Retire at 55 and live to 80; work till you’re 65 and die at 67.
 

Interestingly,


A friend just sent me this today.


https://www.biznews.com/thought-leaders/2013/09/10/retire-at-55-and-live-to-80-work-till-youre-65-and-die-at-67-startling-new-data-shows-how-work-pounds-older-bodies



Take it for what it's worth...

Do what ever the fcuk you want, don't worry about what others think, or do you recall them pitching $ into your retirement nest egg?

You’re talking to the wrong folks. If you have things to do that make you happy (hobbies, projects, travel, exercise) retirement will great! No other job can touch it. You’ll also find that you’re busy as hell, but loving it. Retire where you can enjoy your life, not necessarily the cheapest place to live. If that means you need to hold off retirement a bit to add to your nest egg, well, that’s a decision you need to work through. That’s my 2 pesos. Best wishes on your plans!

I retired a bit before 50. No regrets. Now 75, and as the time left gets shorter, I'm very grateful I had those years.

But that's just me...some folks are quite content and perhaps happy to work until the grim reaper calls.

Life isn't a dress rehearsal, you only get one. Spend it as you like.

Interesting thread. I don't think I'll ever "retire," but I've always sought to work on my own terms at things that are interesting. I've lost too many friends and family of late (cancer, motorcycles), which reinforces my desire not to waste life worrying too much about numbers on a financial statement.

In the final analysis, you can always get more money. But time is irreplaceable.

You can casually ride your bicycle and stop along the way as many times as you need to walk into stores or simply smell the flowers.. Then you should be able to remember things from your youth that may be of interest or inspire you.

There it is.

However, be willing to adjust your "happiness profile" as you settle in to your well earned retirement.

We hire a number of retired folks as "1099's" who moved to North Carolina with the expectation of never working again. They enjoy our projects and only work on stuff they want too, at hours they specify. Their talent and experience makes it very much worth our being completely flexible with them. We even "time share" folks of the same career backgrounds if they can't individually commit to the required labor hours.

Some folks work 10 hours a week and then take a month off to travel. Some start at five hours a week and want to flex to 30 or so in critical junctures. Others stay at five.

We remote folks in as well via GoToMeeting when possible to make it even easier.

Talent is hard to find and we keep our rates very competitive in our marketplace. This is the best thing we ever did in terms of getting the right people in place, happy and satisfied.

Again, congratulations on your retirement...it is now about you and your families desires.

The "what are you going to do" mentality cracks me up when early retirement is brought up.. I say go for it and enjoy your time doing what you want to do!

While the study has it flaws, the underlying message that there is more to life than working is very important.

If going to work is a chore, it is time for a change.

For me, I could have retired earlier. Why did I wait?

Several reasons (not all good):
1) I actually enjoy my job and, until recently, it has been big fun to go to work;
2) I wanted to be eligible for Medicare as private insure is expensive;
3) My son has a disability, and my company insurance is much easier to deal with than the disability folks;
4) My daughter, who just turned 26 has been on my insurance until the end of this month.

If you can do it, do it. enjoy your self and do good things.

Isn’t she a nurse? You’re effed man....

You've received all of the advice and encouragement you need here. You have a great plan, stick to it. If I knew I had some money coming in 5-8 years from now I'd be done today. I'm 56 and may be done without that other than desperately needing health insurance with Type 1 diabetes to deal with daily. Life is short. One of my good friends, the healthiest and strongest MF I've known was diagnosed with a rare form of lymphoma at 60 in 2014. He lead our cycling group, was fit as hell, drove a race car with skill and lived a life pursuing his passions. He was dead in 6 months, hopefully with no regrets other than leaving his wife behind. His deathbed advice was that there are no bucket lists. Good luck!

Having fulfilled yer lifelong dream of being a banker....what else is left :)?

No one knows but you....everyone is different.

Planned to make it to 50 at the corporate thingy....didn't work out...

11 years ago ;)

No regrets....

Retired in my mid 50's. I'm busier and happier now than when working. Build what I want, when I want to. Cycle, garden, ride my horse, fix my cars, cook, bake bread whatever.

My sig other, otoh, imploded 6 months after retirement at 59 and left to "find herself". Ok, whatever, diff strokes.

Some folks need to feel they are contributing to something larger for self worth, others don't. I'm not judgemental either way, although its certainly easier to call the later "selfish".

Do figure out the health thing. I was fortunate enough to have continuing coverage ( a long story, but the short version is that I was disabled for a bit and SSA wants you off so badly that they give you medicare for life as an incentive which I gladly took) but without it I'd think long and hard.

My plan for early retirement (~60) includes using my wife's health insurance until I turn 65. My fear is if I retire early, she will want to retire too, even though she's 5 years younger than me. We're recently married, and while I saved and planned for retirement, she has not, and while I'm fairly certain I have enough for ME to retire, I'm not sure I have enough for US to retire, and I'm hoping she'll keep working at least another 10 years so she get her full state pension ( she works for the county).
Of course if either of us gets sick or spends any time in the hospital it will all be gone anyway, right?

Twobone,

First, congratulations on getting your financials squared-away enough to retire, early, or at all. I read into your “dilemma” that you are experiencing other’s perception of you retiring “early”.

Not to make this about my situation, but to give my background in order to let you know that my comments come from personal experience... I will retire in about 1.5 years after a 35 year military career, at 52 years old. I have declined further promotion in order to retire on my terms, on my timeline. In the military, age 40 is old, so 52 makes me ancient, but on the “outside”, 52 is young to retire, and I am encountering the same kinds of comments and questions that you are from some of my non-military friends.

I think that some of the questions and comments that you are receiving come from people who gauge their milestones in life differently. Some cannot retire due to finances, some are driven to work for personal goals reasons; maybe striving for higher company positioning, more money opportunities...simply status of some sort.

I have found that most middle-age people have never really reflected on what “quality” means in their lives. When people do, they determine that one’s quality is, and should be different than another’s quality, and that’s OK. When you receive push-back comments about your retiring early, it’s from those who are trying to apply their perception of quality on you, or from those who have not defined quality for themselves, and cannot fathom retiring early.

When you retire, I think that you will find the freedom found to think, ponder, be active in new and old interests will open you up to more growth than you’ve ever experienced, and you will determine that no answers to naysayers will satisfy, so it just does not matter what they think.

Have fun!