"R" Rated:
 

A disgruntled cattle rancher was upset because the stud bull that he had purchased was not breeding with his cows, just grazing in the fields. The rancher called the farmer he'd bought the bull from and explained the situation. The PO agreed to come over and review the situation.
When he arrived he approached one of the cows and lifted her tail and rubbed his hand furiously on her private parts, then walked over to the bull and rubbed the same hand over the bulls nose. Well.... the bull immediately attended to his business and the rancher was very happy.
He offered the PO a beer in celebration and off to the local tavern they went.
After the bar was closed, and many pints later, the rancher returned home. His wife was fast asleep and as he was undressing he began to think that maybe the same procedure would work for him? So he crawled into bed and began to rub his wifes private parts and then rubbed his face. Well, this woke his wife and she quickly replied, "What in the world are you doing?" The rancher replied, "I just came home from having a few pints at the tavern." His wife added, "Oh, and you got in a fight too?" :mad:

Rob, . . .Eeewww


http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...army-knife.jpg

CO Dennis Miller.......It used to be called the San Andreas fault...now it's the Grey Davis fault....

<img src="http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/saddam_dixieduo.jpg">

<img src="http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploads/turbo_120avatar.JPG"> <img src="http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploads/my%20968%20overheadavatar2.JPG"> <img src="http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploads/928%20avatar2.JPG">
like carter says, always have a backup.

This is no Joke, It really took place.. but it's still good for a smile.

"The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement:

"We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of France.

Indeed, our mustard is manufactured in Rochester, NY. The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow."


Jorge (Targa Dude)

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.

MAN: "Hello?"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$60,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

Q. Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair?

A. Because if they drug them by their feet that would fill up with dirt.

I can't decide if I find this very funny or not at all funny:


two buddhists talking:

the first says: "Last night I dreamnt I was reincarnated"

the second asks: "Really? What were you?"

the first replies: "A fingernail."