Guess who's coming back to town(And no, it's not santa) - I need some sage advice.

[LEAKYSEALS951]

You may remember me from such threads as :

https://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/1123260-ppot-go-do-something-nice-now-thread.html

As an update-

First, this thread came across as "signalling" to some of you ol' farts.

Tough s#$%! Go to school.

Secondly, this thread is in no way a 2A comment. Go start a thread in parf if you want. Fine by me. Not here. I'll gladly chime in over there, but not in this thread.

My original thread was not a signalling. It was not meant was such. Basically, the next store neighbor went crazy and shot out all his windows, and the neighbor's car because he thought his wife was in the CIA and stalking him.

In short, this neighbor is bipolar, and has a history of such. Also this neighborhood is hoo-ville. Very close packed. Every one holding hands and happy.

I always thought "I" was the grinch. But the is always a bigger fish...

Before this, he had a history of running through the neighborhood in his whitey tighteys. That is a different beast. Personally, I could get on board, shred my pants and run beside him ala "Falling down" energy.

I could do that all day.

Shooting the neighbor's car though- especially where kids play- this was understandably a bit traumatic. First, this is a guy I knew for some time. I considered him a pretty straight up dude. A friend.

Fast forward to him flipping out. I left work to make sure my wife's house hadn't been shot through, but his house was, as was the neighbor's car...that's (give me a break here- a little close for comfort).

As fate has it in suburbia, they had a second house. He retreated to his beach estate, his wife stayed here, and all has been quiet.

Other than he got arrested several times for conduct at the beach house and stalking his neighbors at the beach, all has been quiet.

Understandably, a divorce occurred.

And..... The results are in.The wife gets the beach house. The husband gets next store. He moves back in on Friday!!!!

Yay!

My current line of thinking is this.

First- where did his 12 gauge go (it is not at the house- some trusted friends-who are trusted friends of mine- have it)
Two- I figure he will be too ashamed to stay here much longer. The hope is that he will be two embarrassed to stay here, sell the house and make a new start.
Three- I deal with a wide bandwidth of people. I enjoy crazy, but only to a point. If you think 5G if going to kill you, COOL! Let's talk. So much more interesting than soccer mom talk.

If you are dropping slugs into your neighbors car because you've lost sense on reality, well, that's above my paygrade.

Therefore, I am looking for advice. I like the guy. Assuming he says anything to me, we can hang out. Better to keep your "frenemies?" close.


But, he was even keeled until about one day before he unwound.

To compound issues, although our family was not involved in the CIA (like his wife ), my wife and daughter bought one yappy arse dog, which likes to yap 24/7. It's an embarrassment for me on normal days.

With a manic next store neighbor with a history of unrationable outbreak, I am concerned. Speaking to my wife tonight, she stated "He will just have to get used to the dog."

OK.... Help me folks. I'm not socially signaling here. I am asking for input.

We've got a manic dude with momentary lapses of reason (one of "our" mutual favorite bands) and I'm gonna lay low, but I'm looking for all comments.

I'm sure it will all work out, but, what he did was a disconnect with reality. Me stating "sure" becomes an inappropriate band-aide at this point.

I will resist posting the Alfred Nueman "what, me worry?" meme here.

I am specifically looking for advice on how "We" should deal with him as a family, and "I" should deal with him as a friend (who really likes him when he is in reality), but "we've" got a loud pet which I would personally like to duct tape shut, even on a good day, but especially with an old friend back in town!


Thoughts?

[RNajarian]

Personally if it were me I wouldn’t be a “weekend wOrrier” like your signature line states, I would be an “everyday wOrrier.”

He doesn’t need guns to wreak havoc, knives and gasoline are readily available.

I feel your concern is legitimate. The slightest thing can trigger a bipolar person. Many refuse to take their medication.

First thing I would do is go to the local LEO and ask their advice. . . and lock my doors.

Good luck pal.

[LEAKYSEALS951]

Thanks,
Speaking from one dentite to another- I think there are a handful of patients that would even remotely come close to this. And he isn't even a patient.

I have literally had patients who are on Jerry Springer, and gotten arrested a day later.
This is even closer.

I used to laugh in the face of bipolar. Not so much any more.

Keeping door locked is a first good step.

[72doug2,2S]

On the dog, I see many owners in SWFL who have dogs that not only don't bark, they don't even whimper. Seems like muzzle training exists somewhere.

[greglepore]

Va has a red flag law.
I'd start by contacting ACPD and letting them know your concerns, they may care, they may not.
Arming the wife isn't going to end well, I suspect.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by LEAKYSEALS951

my wife and daughter bought one yappy arse dog, which likes to yap 24/7. It's an embarrassment for me on normal days.

With a manic next store neighbor with a history of unrationable outbreak, I am concerned. Speaking to my wife tonight, she stated "He will just have to get used to the dog."

How small is the dog? Over 8# and this will work.
https://www.amazon.com/PetSafe-Anti-Bark-Training-Waterproof-Correction/dp/B0002C7FHC/

Concerning the neighbor, good luck! Hopefully, you never need it.

[flatbutt]

I know nothing of bi-polar mania so with a grain of salt I ask if keeping yourself on his "good" side is possible.

Do bi-polar people have a good side? Even if they do can an episode negate their good side?

If you've had a good relationship with him in the past can you build on that to create trust and maybe insure against becoming a target?

[Gogar]

Make sure your camera system is up to snuff

[Zeke]

There's one thing I can't handle at all and it's barking dogs. I'm not alone if you delve into any social media even just one day. You are baiting him.

[creaturecat]

get a bark collar for the dog. end of that problem
maybe he will sell the house. ….. less chance of that if you become his buddy.
got a big fence? i put up a steel one between us and our “could go postal” neighbour. money well spent.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by masraum

How small is the dog? Over 8# and this will work.
https://www.amazon.com/PetSafe-Anti-Bark-Training-Waterproof-Correction/dp/B0002C7FHC/

Concerning the neighbor, good luck! Hopefully, you never need it.

Originally Posted by creaturecat

get a bark collar for the dog. end of that problem
maybe he will sell the house. ….. less chance of that if you become his buddy.
got a big fence? i put up a steel one between us and our “could go postal” neighbour. money well spent.

Yep. Lots of folks poo poo bark collars. I've shocked myself with one before (gotta test it to see what it's like, and have used it one dogs before. They quickly learn that barking causes a surprise. It only takes a couple of times. After they've learned, they don't bark with the collar is on. I've had the collar on a dog in the past with a dead battery and not a peep. And the collars that we've used (75# GSD, 11# dachshund) had multiple levels of shock. For the one on the GSD which was a long time ago, I tried the lowest level and that didn't phase her, so I went up to level 2 and then 3 and that did the trick. For the Dachshund, you could set the initial level, and then if they kept barking it would increase the level. I think we settled on level 2 or 3 out of 9 for him. He'd still occasionally bark, but usually only once.

[Zeke]

In all fairness, the neighbor might not really care about a dog. Seems many are tolerant of things that others are not. It could be that if you play holiday music too loud that will be a trigger. Anything so watch for the signs.

My neighbor across the street plays outdoor music this time of year. Since it's a lot of Vince Guaraldi Charlie Brown I don't mind so much. But honestly, what kind of nerve to play outdoor music every night? If that gets her off, fine. Play it inside.

[john70t]

Name yer dog Sam?
A bark collar or sonic wall device will kelp with the barking. Some even have sprays.One neighbor finally got rid of their big agressive yapper which probably imploded on them. Another is on her second. A third couple is trying to figure it all out. I'm sure it's louder inside.

Other than that, tall fences make great neighbors. A nod and a wave and be on your way.
Accentuate the positive.

[Alan A]

Originally Posted by Zeke

My neighbor across the street plays outdoor music this time of year. Since it's a lot of Vince Guaraldi Charlie Brown I don't mind so much. But honestly, what kind of nerve to play outdoor music every night? If that gets her off, fine. Play it inside.

We have one that does it all summer long. Some kind of mariachi crap. He’s a half mile or so away and I can still hear him - his actual neighbors must love him. If I were ever to get close to going postal I’m sure that would be a trigger.

[LEAKYSEALS951]

Thanks for the feedback all.
Just got back from work. Yesterday, I met up with a retired LEO friend, and not surprisingly, he said there wasn't much we could do, other than move, or get a 410 based on the neighborhood we live in. He said lay low, and not stand out in any way.

Fortunately, my wife doesn't crank outdoor music or participate in tacky light displays, so that's good.

As for the dog, this is her:



You can google "Santa's little helper" for a complete breakdown of this dog.

She would be the "weakest link" in this equation. Previously, my wife has defended the dog's noise as a justified response to other "bad dogs" in the hood, a justification I no absolutely no agreement with, and I say no more, realizing she might see this thread

Considering that she and our daughter stated tonight that "they are scared" the neighbor is coming back, this might be a good time to discuss dropping the "other dog is at fault blame game" and to consider a collar, or more discipline.

Perhaps as stated, the dog might not push his buttons. Hope springs eternal.

Good camera system is a good idea too. My flip phone mentality won't assimilate, but my wife has smart phone smarts. Perhaps a ring system or equivalent.

I'm a little torn on how to deal with him too. We were good friends. His house was the weekend neighborhood hangout. That's all changed, people aren't going to be hanging out there, and I'm still trying to decide how to approach this. I don't want to act all weird by not hanging out, but I can't really get into acting like nothing happened.

Fortunately, for me, he will have to make amends with the car owner across the street, and another neighbor, whose tires got punctured by all the crap he threw in the road (bolts and screws and stuff) as he was tossing his belongings out in the yard.

I'll let him deal with them first, if he deals with them at all.

[wdfifteen]

I recommend a “bark box” for the dog. They are portable and don’t hurt the dog at all. They worked out great for us when a neighbor’s dog was barking incessantly. Just hung it on the fence.

[Cairo94507]

Get training assistance to train the dog to not bark.

If the neighbor has been "restored to reality" and indeed appears rational, speak with him and explain the position he put your neighborhood in when he began shooting up the neighborhood. That you can not accept that type of conduct, which jeopardizes the safety of others and himself. Tell him you consider yourself a friend and should he have an episode, or whatever it is that sets him off, you will call the authorities to get him help.

Then go down to the PD and meet with a sergeant or above and discuss the situation and your concerns. Ask them specifically how they would like you to act should the neighbor begin to go down the slippery slope again. Then have a hard-line approach; if he begins to exhibit bizarre behavior, contact the local PD and inform them as they instructed.

[rcooled]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

I recommend a “bark box” for the dog.

There are also collars that emit a citronella spray when the dog barks. No shocks and it’s completely harmless. I used one on my dog. He got sprayed once or twice, then never barked again with that collar on. Now, if he goes on a barking jag, all I have to do is show him the collar and he stops pronto.

[Bill Douglas]

If he's single. Officially single. We could introduce him to my sister. I think they would be perfect for eachother.

They could spend all day on conspiracy websites, eat vegan food, and talk about how stupid and naive the rest of the population is. I won't even mention covid.

[RobFrost]

It is possible there was some exogenous shock which pushed him over the edge, and in the absence of that he'll be fine. Maybe his wife really does work for the CIA and he was legitimately unhappy about getting investigated.

I'd guess he'll go round everybody and openly say that he had a wobble and his behaviour was unacceptable and that it won't happen again. Then one of three things will happen. Either you'll be amazed how quickly everything gets back to normal, or he'll never be the same again.



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