making Mask jokes.

[vash]

oh boy. i am so glad i am not dating anymore.

my jokes suck. i stopped by an artisan bakery today while i was at one of my jobsites. i walk up wearing my mask. she asks, "how can i help?"
me; "this is a stick-up"

her: NOTHING! not a smile, not a wince, nothing.

me: "okay, that wasnt even a little bit funny?"

her: "no not really"

Me: "boy, i'm glad i'm married and not dating with my jokes"

her: "im shocked you're married. (hehe) not that is a joke!"

me: "i'll take a loaf of wonder bread and a Fogasse..."

you single guys. kudos. it's tough out there!! have a great weekend everyone.

[vash]

on a side note; i have to go deposit cash at my bank.

i bet my joke will be MUCH better over there.

[stevej37]

Don't forget to wear your hoodie....and sunglasses.

[widebody911]

[widebody911]

[KFC911]

Ima gonna hafta rename my dog "Tonto" now.

signed...

Kimosabe

[rockfan4]

The East Moline IL police dept is asking customers to "tip their mask" when entering a business, so that the workers know you're a shopper and not a robber. They figure if you show your face, presumably for a security camera, you're OK.

https://www.kwqc.com/content/news/Why-you-should-Tip-Your-Mask--569907021.html

[aigel]

^^^ Yes, that's exactly what you want to do, grab your mask when you get to the store, contaminate your hands and then touch the cart, the food, the checkout counter and payment machine ... must have some really rough neighborhoods there.

As far as being funny, once mid aged it is proportional to how wealthy you come across. If you looked like the average construction worker, of course you aren't funny, no matter how good a joke you made. I am sure there are exceptions, but I find that the second thing out of women's mouth these days is "what do you do for a living". I tell them I am a mechanic or a teacher - that gets them out of there quick. These are women close to my age, probably looking for the next guy to hook up with. No thanks.

G

[Jim Bremner]

I told my favorite cashier at Trader Joe's that "This is my Kink"

[911boost]

I have a Sitka hoodie with a built in mask as part of the hood.

Totally going to wear it in public instead of just for hunting now.

[LEAKYSEALS951]

Bought this for my recent sandblasting project, but it checks the right boxes for stylish COVID wear. Total face protection, cheap, available, fashionable. $19.99 at Harbor Freight - AND it works well as a sandblasting hood. Get yours today! Now if I only had some dragon azz pants to wear with it!

[red-beard]

On the news yesterday, two of the women had "fashionable" masks with leopard or other things. They looked like they were wearing womens underwear on their face. Some of the guys had white ones that looked like they cut them from a double-D bra.



And then there is this:



https://www.click2houston.com/news/local/2020/04/23/going-bananas-at-kprc-2-we-arent-masking-our-mistake/

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by red-beard

I triple dog-dare ya

[ckelly78z]

Toothless, ugly people everywhere are cheering having to wear a mask !

[Tobra]

I would hope they would give you the wood shampoo for wearing that mask, in Harris Co, anyway. They will shoot you, your wife and your dog if you have an address that sounds like where a drug dealer lives, you'd think they would at least kick your ass for wearing that mask.

[KFC911]

So I remembered...searched my garage and found an ancient mask still in the plastic...N95....gold I tell ya . Head to the grocery store....freakin' rubber straps disintegrated...dayum. Probably 90% were wearing....some bandanas...

So I bought bananas

I have bandanas....my fav is a Grateful Dead one

So now I repair and improvise... on my way to the puppy dawg food store

[KFC911]

Greensboro was going to give away thousands of masks today...gone in an instant. Lowes Foods (regional), had 60K (locally made by ???) at their Winston-Salem stores last week...gone asap. News reported that Hanes (local) had already made and delivered 60M (yes million), and were ramping up on gowns and other PPE. The demand is staggering...

I have bandanas and bananas though !

[KFC911]

Is it just me....or did Victoria Secrets start selling masks now ?

....as seen on TV.

[T77911S]

my wife does not laugh at my jokes but my girlfriend does.