Ways of thinking

[john70t]

This is a bit all over the map, but with the early morning cup of coffee I was just thinking about the paperwork to get done today and how much I hate doing it.

My first instinctual thought back to the brain was "just don't do it". Avoidance technique. Ignore it and the problem will go away by itself. Right? You already know the answer to that. I looked over at the can of paint brought up from the basement and which I have to walk around daily, and realized it's been sitting there for a few weeks. "Well it doesn't apply itself" I thought.

Then I was thinking of putting on a favorite song, one which I'd listened to many times recently, and realized it would probably steer me into doing X when I should be doing Y instead today. Repetitive known motions can be so soothing to the brain, is common to sports and religions, and can be found in so many other human behaviors and routines. We tend to build up 'muscle memory' and just do them instinctively without even realizing it's being done while the mind is free to simultaneously wander into deeper thoughts. These fallback habits can be very beneficial things, or they can be self-destructive.

One quasi-religion teaches that a person should keep doing something until it is normalized. To go over it again and again until the idea doesn't hurt anymore. To work through the pain using repetition. It uses a form of extended therapy session. And of course there is that element of some invisible external nemesis or enemy or influence to blame for whatever impediments or ailments a person is dealing with. In everything it's so much easier to blame something else. lol.

Back to the subject of extended therapy sessions, but specifically for working through relationship problems with another person, one technique with a different twist is talk through a problem with another person using only small segments of an idea, maintaining constant feedback and acknowledgment of what the other person just expressed, and strictly staying within a neutral spectrum of conversation and something both can relate to. The idea is not to necessarily agree with the other person but to maintain a constant connection and make them feel validated and heard while covering the entire spectrum of thoughts which are associated with that difference of opinion. Even if nothing is finally agreed upon and the two sides end up reconfirming their original opinions, there is an implied element of heightened human trust as a result.

Other religions internalize the source of whatever needs fixing in that it is self-created and that self-blame is key to learning more about this unknown. And some teach that internal struggle is just a natural phenomenon and part of everything in the universe. There is usually a bit of something for everyone in any type of organized group consensus.

Removing internal negative associations is often key to being able to devote 100% positive attention to any task. So again this morning I woke and did my routine while being constantly harassed by the bossy alpha cat. He will often trip me up on the stairs and follow me around the house loudly meowing like there is no tomorrow even after being fed and plenty of petting. There is something else I'm ussally missing such as cleaning his box or walking the dog. Drives me nuts and I have to toss him outside just to get rid of the problem at times. Sometimes I think "Well if I don't get out of bed today I won't have any negativity" but obviously that is not a valid solution. At some time in life we have all struggled to do a good thing at great effort only to be punished for it. It doesn't make our original effort invalid. Just the opposite. Sometimes it only reveals what needs to be addressed externally.

Most critters of every life form respond to positive reinforcement habits. If they do X then they get Y (safety, food, sex, etc). Usually it requires a combination of positive and negative results to make it happen. That is important to remember for all situations great or small. "Speak quietly but carry a big stick"-TR. And remember to stop and smell the roses.

[svandamme]

[tabs]

So thats how it works.

I have neither the energy to think about this nor talk about it.

[LEAKYSEALS951]

Originally Posted by john70t

This is a bit all over the map, but with the early morning cup of coffee

What kind of coffee do you drink, and where can I get some?

[john70t]

Originally Posted by john70t

Then I was thinking of putting on a favorite song

I still can't decide between "Yer so vain, you probably think this song is about you." and "Hey you get off of my cloud"

[fanaudical]

I initially read this early this morning on my tablet from bed - where I was dreading getting up to tackle that big stack of paperwork on my desk...

[john70t]

The basis of the generalized concepts I was heading for is that we are often locked into repeating subconscious patterns which become the focus of much of our existence without even knowing it. To reach a new epiphany we often have to physically go on vacation to another part of the world, to become somewhat vulnerable and subject to change for survival means, to rediscover latent skills within ourselves rarely used, and to experience first hand how other people live their lives which is often completely different from our own. To 'break out of the shell' is the apropos metaphor.

The end result is sometimes a hard reset of the worn-out neuro path patterns which have been used too frequently and often to little effect. Wasted energy. Stuck on stupid. Whatever the description. Saying a word louder doesn't result in better understand between two individuals not understanding one another. Using the same tool for all tasks is counter-productive. New challenges requires using a new acquired skill set.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by john70t

TTo reach a new epiphany we often have to physically go on vacation to another part of the world, to become somewhat vulnerable and subject to change for survival means, to rediscover latent skills within ourselves rarely used, and to experience first hand how other people live their lives which is often completely different from our own. To 'break out of the shell' is the apropos metaphor.

My recommendation? You should go to Israel.

[john70t]

(BTDT. And I already know your answer to my return, and so would be glad to discuss in another forum if you'd like.)

I've often wondered about conditioning. How we automatically apply a set of standards to conditions and situations which might not even be relevant. Someone might be rude in the store based upon their own preconceptions and then we respond in kind, and yet the truth of the matter might be that both people are actually speaking about the exact same thing. Or someone might feel they have been cut off in traffic, while the other has been patiently trying to switch lanes for miles. Is it possible that both sides of an opposing situation might be valid and correct? The determining human value lost can often be the ability of perception due to preconceived standards with the ability to just allow a grain of empathy. That mutual solutions are easily achieved when both parties are vested to that end.

[Bill Douglas]

An interesting question I'll talk to you about it tomorrow.