It’s time to have the “talk” with my youngest son.

[cantdrv55]

I had the “talk” with my oldest boy but I don’t remember how I brought it up because it was 16 years ago. My kids are 17 years apart. I honestly don’t know how to go about it this time because my little one has Down Syndrome. He is high functioning but is delayed. Physically he’s going through puberty at exactly the right time (he’s 12). He appreciates beauty and is quite a flirt at school so it’s a good time to discuss the birds and the bees. I have a feeling though that we’re going to have the “talk” numerous times before it sinks in.

[aigel]

I don't recall sitting down my kids specifically for this. It comes up ad different ages with different levels of questions to both parents, separately or at the same time and you answer as far as they ask. He may not be interested in the details yet. I do recall a basic book that was 2nd grade level we had as well. It was pretty tame.

My best conversations with my kids not just on this subject are always on solo activities. Road trips, hikes, bike rides, hunting / fishing etc. That's when the subject may come up and can be addressed in a non big deal way. I'd never go sit my kid down on a random day and say "son, we have to talk".

To this day with my older ones, I offer wisdom about STDs, sexual practices, dirty jokes etc. and they are always very embarrassed. "DAD!"

G

[Heel n Toe]

If I were you, I'd involve someone who counsels children with Down Syndrome. Even better if it's someone who knows or has spent time with your son. School counselor? Maybe meet with him/her on your own first in a private location where you son wouldn't know about it, then if it seems necessary, possibly have a meeting with the three of you.

[LWJ]

A challenge to be sure.

I have three kids. All different. My middle is my son And he is going to college in the fall. My wife buys him stuff little by little. Last week? Condoms. I put a bow on them.

Yes. It is a long conversation vs a talk. My oldest is on the autism spectrum. I get it. Good luck.

[rfuerst911sc]

Maybe talk with school counselor/nurse/doctor ?

[onewhippedpuppy]

I took my oldest son out to dinner just so we could have some one on one time. That’s about the extent of the wisdom I can offer.

[peppy]

I'm all ears, I have a 13 yo and am trying to start the conversation.

[fastfredracing]

The talk at our house . I stand there with my teenage son, and we watch his 2 year old brother annoy us, tear the house apart . and do all the things that 2 year olds do
I then ask my teenage son " what is the lesson we have learned here today ?"
His answer " condoms, condoms, condoms, condoms, condoms condoms "
My teenage son is on the spectrum. We had the talk a few years ago. It was not nearly as painful as I thought it would be . We are pretty close, and I have always had open dailogues about women, sex, alcohol, drugs, guns ...
We will often take drives, and just shoot the breeze about life, and this is when I did it . Ive messed up a lot of things in my life, and I have done pretty good with my son. He thinks the whole world is against him, but he knows dad is the real deal.

[stomachmonkey]

My son is on the spectrum. 17 and we have not had the talk yet. He can not deal with PDAs as benign as people kissing on TV, he runs from the room.

He does not socialize in person, even if one of his few friends comes over to hang out it’s almost like the freind is not there that’s how little he engages.

We noticed he started doing the hide his iPad thing when we would enter whatever room he was in.

My wife asked me what that was about to which I replied, probably porn. She insisted I needed to have the talk.

One night we are sitting at dinner and somehow the hiding the iPad thing came up so I figured let me bust his balls a bit and said he was watching porn.

My daughter laughed and said “he’s not watching porn, he watches cooking shows”

???? I look at him and sheepishly he looks up and says “I like cooking shows, Russian ones are my favorite”

As a side note I’m pretty sure his sister had the talk with him. He worships the ground she walks on but she not only treats him as her brother but also often like she is his mother.

They are as tight as I think any two people can possibly be.

We used to be worried about him when we’d no longer be around but his sisters got it handled.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

My daughter laughed and said “he’s not watching porn, he watches cooking shows”

???? I look at him and sheepishly he looks up and says “I like cooking shows, Russian ones are my favorite”

As a side note I’m pretty sure his sister had the talk with him. He worships the ground she walks on but she not only treats him as her brother but also often like she is his mother.

They are as tight as I think any two people can possibly be.

We used to be worried about him when we’d no longer be around but his sisters got it handled.

That is about the coolest thing I have ever read.

Well done.

Things change: My Mom passed away when both she and my Dad were 60.

Trust me when I tell you that successful male widowers in that age group get hit on more than a set of drums...

It was crazy. He actually called ME and asked me what to do.

[brainz01]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

My son is on the spectrum. 17 and we have not had the talk yet. He can not deal with PDAs as benign as people kissing on TV, he runs from the room.



He does not socialize in person, even if one of his few friends comes over to hang out it’s almost like the freind is not there that’s how little he engages.



We noticed he started doing the hide his iPad thing when we would enter whatever room he was in.



My wife asked me what that was about to which I replied, probably porn. She insisted I needed to have the talk.



One night we are sitting at dinner and somehow the hiding the iPad thing came up so I figured let me bust his balls a bit and said he was watching porn.



My daughter laughed and said “he’s not watching porn, he watches cooking shows”



???? I look at him and sheepishly he looks up and says “I like cooking shows, Russian ones are my favorite”



As a side note I’m pretty sure his sister had the talk with him. He worships the ground she walks on but she not only treats him as her brother but also often like she is his mother.



They are as tight as I think any two people can possibly be.



We used to be worried about him when we’d no longer be around but his sisters got it handled.

Good stuff. My older son is almost 12 and didn't want us knowing what music he listens to on Spotify: Death Metal? Gangster Rap?

Nope: He's a big fan of 80s pop! Funny, that's my (old) music.

We keep tabs on all his web site visits and searches. Still very wholesome, but (despite network filters) appears he may have recently got hit with some porn spam popups on a computer game mod forum. I think we'll be having a talk about that soon.

[Steve Viegas]

I don't know if this will help, but my son is also on the spectrum. He is now 16. When he was 12 I started putting on morning radio with some risque jocks in the morning. I hoped it would help start the conversation. It did.

My son and I have a very challenging relationship, I imagine like many fathers and sons. My wife passed away almost 6 years ago now so I am doing the best I can. While it is difficult, he has figured out he can talk to me about anything and I think those morning talks in the car really helped with that. So, while there is a lot of yelling that happens, there is a lot of apology (from both sides) that happens too. I think in the end, I net positive.

[cstreit]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

They are as tight as I think any two people can possibly be.

We used to be worried about him when we’d no longer be around but his sisters got it handled.

Man I hope you tell her that. This is something that needs to be said.

[SCadaddle]

I seem to vaguely remember the topic was adequately covered in public school 7th grade "Home Economics" or "Health" class, surely not Shop Class, with a film running through a projector that had a single hair twitching around on the lens. I was probably more intrigued by the hair on the lens than the actual program of the film....

[mattdavis11]

I never had the talk with my dad, I had 4 older brothers, they took on the role.

While our 20yr old is not mine, I do consider him my son. His mother and I have been together since he was 11. His dad passed away right about the time he got his drivers license, maybe a bit before. His dad probably talked with him prior, and I picked up afterwards.

When he was in high school, and had wheels, it became a problem. First was empty the trash can in the bathroom so your mother doesn't know, to damn boy, you are getting more pussy than I.

Anyway, the talk continues. He stated a year ago that his GF has an IUD, which apparently, a lot of girls today have. I told him that he isn't the only on she's fecking, wrap it up.

[stevej37]

[cabmandone]

I got you man!