Update
 

Okay my post finally got deleted.

I'm okay, day 17 of being sober and no thoughts of turning back.

I have a home meeting I go to M-F from 7-8AM (great people) and I have several phone numbers I can call from them.

Seeing a addiction therapist and Dr.

Yes legal separation "is a thing" (but not necessary).

We are talking and seeing each other occasionally but she wants to see months of sobriety instead of days before she will consider taking me back.

Speaking of great people you guys have been super supportive and I really appreciate the kind words, PM's, phone numbers sent my way.

Carry on...

I love you guys! :D

Good luck to you man, hope it all works out. Kicking any habit is brutally hard, but half the battle is actually wanting to stop, so from the sounds of it you will make it!

Second best post (series) of the year after the various posts about Elissa.

I'm glad that you've turned around and are on the right path.

last post of the best post series of the year.
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/1068348-elissa-moving-back-texas.html

Stay on the path bro! Good on ya!

Keep on til you don't stop! You can do it. We are behind you!

great news!

All true.

Remember, Scott, you get to decide: Get in shape, eat well and enjoy the rest of your ride come what may.

Figure out how to do that. I know you can. You know you can.

Good news!

Take it one day at a time.

Well done brother. I know sobriety is rough so as it has been said "one day at a time".

I hope you are changing your life because you want a new life for yourself, not to please her. Your new life may not include her. She may be part of what was wrong with the old you.
Now is a time to focus on yourself and your task at hand, not on a goal that depends on someone else.

Great news Scott, stay with it Brother, you have lots of us pulling for you.

You have worked so long to get to your retirement, continuing this healthy path will allow you to enjoy and prolong this phase of your life. So worth the effort.

Cheers Richard

Scott, read the above again and again.

The truth is easy.

You are just getting started on the future. Relax.

If you do this it will be a profound attraction to her even though it should not be your goal.

Awesome news.

Remember how to eat an elephant - one bite at a time.
Also, sobriety has to be for you first. The bonus points are you may be able to salvage the relationship.

There are many of us here who have BTDT so we know that regardless of how weak we feel some times, we can do this 'one day at a time' and in some cases just one morning or even one hour. You are speeding toward a key milestone so just keep life "directionally correct" and other things will eventually fall into place.

My first post was probably poorly worded "she will take me back" is only one scenario, no one knows (least of all me) how this will pan out.

IF we get back together some changes will need to be made on both sides of the street.

I have to make the change for me... I know that... not to be overly dramatic... I would be dead before the end of the year the way I was going.

In my life I have drank an ocean of booze and taken a mountain of drugs, almost checked out several times but always bounced back. Well, the bouncing back isn't happening anymore.

Thanks for your replies!

The first few years are the toughest....After that, you don't really think about booze. You'll find "buzzed" people amusing and drunk people just sad...

Pot legal in Oregon now. I've never been in a "dispensary". Have bought booze as gifts for friends though.

Hang in there...

Not trying to be hard on you, but I was married to an addict, so I have a little insight. I'm not saying anything that your groups or counselors will not be saying to you.
Yes, it takes two to have a marriage. But you need to be one before you can be two with anyone else. If you are still thinking about what she needs to change you are still on the wrong track. Become yourself. I am pulling for you and I wish you the best, but you still seem to be focused on your marriage when the work that has to be done is within you. Become yourself.

This...

Wishing you the best, sir.