visting family. a question.

[vash]

my wife and her brother get along famously. its a good thing.

they visit each other all the time (more on this below). her only sibling. a younger brother.

here is the thing. we ALWAYS go and visit them. BIL and his SO. they NEVER come to visit us. if they do "come to visit" us we meet somewhere halfway. we will however, go to visit them in their neighborhood, or some restaurant down the street from their condo. i dont remember them ever visiting us except once. and the entire time, they complained that the drive was so long.

i tried to create/adopt a rule that whomever (whoever?)is hosting the visit pays..but that didn't fly with the wife. so now, i have to load up car, gas up..drive 2-hours to visit and i get to pay!! now Sunday, we go to visit. BIL is ordering togo. we pick it up on our way in. i got stuck with the bill AGAIN. hahhahaa..

hahhahaaahhaha.. FACK. personally, i am happy me and my siblings are scattered around the country. i chit you not..i dont know what type of car his SO drives!! i have never seen it. they just dont commute.

sorry, i am in a grouchy mood. some micro-managering idiot above me directed the Contractor to work Sundays...now i have to staff the entire weekend. great..at least the OT will cover this weekends food tab.

[masraum]

I had a buddy like that in college. He always wanted everyone to go to his place. It was irritating, but for us, only 15-20 mins.

[Seahawk]

Family.

You don't get to pick'em.

If I did, I'd be down one older Sister with the other one on the ledge, teetering.

The "Teetering Sister" is the exact clone of your wife's brother: I love her but her idea of effort is inviting me to drive the 500 miles to her house to celebrate "family".

[KFC911]

Take Hank, along with a 40 lb bag of food, several suitcases, and overextend your welcome....

They're family

Problem solved....

[Bill Douglas]

I'll swap my sister for your BIL.

[Steve Carlton]

Have you told your wife this is one-sided and unfair?

[Noah930]

It may be super irritating, but sometimes it's better to just let it go. Your wife and her brother have a good relationship, and sometimes the irritations and unfairnesses of life are still worth it.

[look 171]

Now that we are on this subject, I will spill a little of my guts to you guys.

My sis, the only sibling, and I get along great. I always pay when it comes to lunches and dinners. Its neither me or my father even with other guest. When my dad retired, I always picked up the tab, my sis would do it sometimes without asking. Its no big deal, we are all family. She goes and get merry and this is where thing go south. Her dumb ass husband, from Canada (not that it has anything to do with it) decides to screw up a great thing we have going within our family. He's never picked up the tab, ever. He comes to eat, brushes his ass off with his hands and goes to watch TV in the other room while all of us and helping to clean up the dinner table and stick dishes in the washer. Never brings anything, but will pack up all the left over for the next week. I always pick up dinner tabs doesn't matter who's dins with us. Its no big deal but this fooking guy, I am tired of babying him. My sister has become like that too. Its sad that my mom and I both do not enjoy his company. He doesn't say siht during the whole time while we eat. No contribution to any of the conversations. He wants to borrow my truck but wants me to drive it to their house and my sister gives me a ride back. He expects my wife to drive me so I can go and pick up the truck after he done with it. His thinking is, my wife is a stay home mom, so why not? He took the truck from me once, with a full tank of diesel. When he returned it, it has a 1/4 tank left. He dropped the keys off in the mail box. I really don't understand how people can become like that. Oh, my sister will call about the truck. He's never called me once. Sorry about the rant. Needed to get it off my chest. My wife has heard enough from me.

I think somethimes the in laws are the ones screwing thing up?

[KFC911]

Mebbe PPOT should have a "relative exchange" every Christmas? It'd be a total "crap shoot"... but I'd take my chances

[stevej37]

On the same subject....how many days do you stay happy with family visiting before it starts to stink?
Two..three...a weeK?

[masraum]

Originally Posted by look 171

Now that we are on this subject, I will spill a little of my guts to you guys.

My sis, the only sibling, and I get along great. I always pay when it comes to lunches and dinners. Its neither me or my father even with other guest. When my dad retired, I always picked up the tab, my sis would do it sometimes without asking. Its no big deal, we are all family. She goes and get merry and this is where thing go south. Her dumb ass husband, from Canada (not that it has anything to do with it) decides to screw up a great thing we have going within our family. He's never picked up the tab, ever. He comes to eat, brushes his ass off with his hands and goes to watch TV in the other room while all of us and helping to clean up the dinner table and stick dishes in the washer. Never brings anything, but will pack up all the left over for the next week. I always pick up dinner tabs doesn't matter who's dins with us. Its no big deal but this fooking guy, I am tired of babying him. My sister has become like that too. Its sad that my mom and I both do not enjoy his company. He doesn't say siht during the whole time while we eat. No contribution to any of the conversations. He wants to borrow my truck but wants me to drive it to their house and my sister gives me a ride back. He expects my wife to drive me so I can go and pick up the truck after he done with it. His thinking is, my wife is a stay home mom, so why not? He took the truck from me once, with a full tank of diesel. When he returned it, it has a 1/4 tank left. He dropped the keys off in the mail box. I really don't understand how people can become like that. Oh, my sister will call about the truck. He's never called me once. Sorry about the rant. Needed to get it off my chest. My wife has heard enough from me.

I think somethimes the in laws are the ones screwing thing up?

Sounds like a real wanker.

Maybe you should play this scene out. Jason Statham seems like a persuasive guy. A couple of minor changes to the dialog and you're good to go.

[Noah930]

Originally Posted by stevej37

On the same subject....how many days do you stay happy with family visiting before it starts to stink?
Two..three...a weeK?

Mrs. Noah's parents drive me insane before they're even here. Does that count? (But I still love them.)

[stevej37]

^^^ Yeah..it's not usually a case of like/dislike. It's the forced change of daily routine.
I think it gets harder to handle as the years go by.

[Noah930]

Originally Posted by stevej37

^^^ Yeah..it's not usually a case of like/dislike. It's the forced change of daily routine.
I think it gets harder to handle as the years go by.

Funny. For me, their quirks are less irritating over the years. Because it is what it is. They are how they are. My FIL is like a Larry David skit. My MIL is a typical ethnic charicature as well. But they always mean well, and everything they do they do out of love and consideration....even if I would see it as slightly misplaced. Might as well just enjoy them for who they are, before they're gone (or I'm gone).

[GH85Carrera]

My in-laws are very quiet, and polite. Just after I married into the family we went out to eat at one restaurant and the waitress even asked if we came from a funeral. I laughed and said no, they just don't talk much.

They had one loudmouth "Uncle Bill" that was very opinionated and no one ever stood up to his silly politics. We god into some good natured funny comments about each other's views. He even said later it was the first time anyone ever called him out on some silly comments he liked to throw out to see if he could get a reaction. When he died it went back to very quiet at family gatherings.

[Scott Douglas]

Originally Posted by look 171

Now that we are on this subject, I will spill a little of my guts to you guys.

He took the truck from me once, with a full tank of diesel. When he returned it, it has a 1/4 tank left. He dropped the keys off in the mail box.

From where I sit, think of it this way. How would you feel if he put the wrong fuel in your tank and told you where you could find your truck?

[vash]

Originally Posted by Noah930

It may be super irritating, but sometimes it's better to just let it go. Your wife and her brother have a good relationship, and sometimes the irritations and unfairnesses of life are still worth it.

Great point. I’ll grab all the good potstickers and dark meat chicken right at the get go.

[look 171]

Originally Posted by Scott Douglas

From where I sit, think of it this way. How would you feel if he put the wrong fuel in your tank and told you where you could find your truck?

My sister will never hear the end of it. She's gotta control her man or boy, should I say?

Thanks for the tip. I will make sure I remember this next time. I hope there's no next time, but ...

[dad911]

Originally Posted by look 171

Now that we are on this subject, I will spill a little of my guts to you guys.

My sis, the only sibling, and I get along great. I always pay when it comes to lunches and dinners. Its neither me or my father even with other guest. When my dad retired, I always picked up the tab, my sis would do it sometimes without asking. Its no big deal, we are all family. She goes and get merry and this is where thing go south. Her dumb ass husband, from Canada (not that it has anything to do with it) decides to screw up a great thing we have going within our family. He's never picked up the tab, ever. He comes to eat, brushes his ass off with his hands and goes to watch TV in the other room while all of us and helping to clean up the dinner table and stick dishes in the washer. Never brings anything, but will pack up all the left over for the next week. I always pick up dinner tabs doesn't matter who's dins with us. Its no big deal but this fooking guy, I am tired of babying him. My sister has become like that too. Its sad that my mom and I both do not enjoy his company. He doesn't say siht during the whole time while we eat. No contribution to any of the conversations. He wants to borrow my truck but wants me to drive it to their house and my sister gives me a ride back. He expects my wife to drive me so I can go and pick up the truck after he done with it. His thinking is, my wife is a stay home mom, so why not? He took the truck from me once, with a full tank of diesel. When he returned it, it has a 1/4 tank left. He dropped the keys off in the mail box. I really don't understand how people can become like that. Oh, my sister will call about the truck. He's never called me once. Sorry about the rant. Needed to get it off my chest. My wife has heard enough from me.

I think somethimes the in laws are the ones screwing thing up?

Took us over a year in court and a ridiculous lawyer bill to get rid of my ex-sister and brother-in-law.

In your case, the truck's easy. Pull the plug. Inform them your insurance doesn't cover other driver's, but point out he can rent one from home depot for $20......

[wildthing]

Some people don't like driving, I found. I will drive to LA for 6 hours. I have a friend who dislikes driving more than an hour.

Though I do question why you always pay for the food. Are they having financial trouble, or at least, not in as good a financial position as you?