It's been a rough couple of months (long post)

[wdfifteen]

It’s been a rough couple of months. I had my annual physical in August and my PSA level was 16 (normal is about 4). I’ve had elevated PSA for 15 years but it’s never been above 9. My doctor freaked completely out and sent me straight to an oncologist. The oncologist said normally he would want me to see a urologist first, but with a PSA of 16 he freaked out too. He told me point blank, “I think you have prostate cancer. I’m ordering a bone scan to see if it has metastasized. “ So I had a bone scan and a lung scan which both came back negative but at the follow up appointment he again said, “I think you have prostate cancer. Most men your age do.” And he passed me off to a urologist.
Without even meeting with me the urologist sent me off to have some super prostate MRI done that was supposed to help with a new, super duper prostate biopsy he was planning to do.
All of this took 2 months and I was at one medical facility at least once a week Since early September. It took a toll on the household. MrsWD has been terrified and I’ve just been thoroughly pissed off at the world. (which has shown up in some of my posts here, I’m afraid, and I’m sorry for that). It’s been a pretty tense couple of months.
So last week I endured the new super duper prostate biopsy.
I’ve had three or four of the old style biopsies and they were unpleasant but they were a walk in the park compared to this new improved literal pain in the ass.
OH MY FKIN’ GOD!
First, the doctor had the bedside manner of a rabid badger. He walked in to the exam room, where I was lying on my side with my naked ass sticking out. He said, “Hello, I’m going to do a quick rectal exam,” and without another word jammed something up my ass. I had never met this guy, had no idea what he even looked like, but he didn’t sound American and he’s back there, poking assorted objects up my flu. Something he was doing hurt like hell and I kept moving away from the pressure. He said, “Hold on still please sir, you keep moving avay!” I practically shouted, “Damn right I’m moving away, it hurts!!”
So finally the nurse piped up and said, “We gave you a lidocaine injection and it should be kicking in in a minute." I asked if they would kindly wait a minute for it to kick in before they shoved the garden hose up my ass again. They did, and after the lidocaine kicked in it was fairly smooth sailing, but damn!
So today I got the results back:

"Dr. **** has reviewed the results of your prostate biopsy showing all benign (non-cancerous) prostate tissue. He recommends following up in the office in 8 months with a repeat PSA blood test."

I’m still pissed off. After spending so many weeks going through all these tests and doctor visits it all came to nothing and I’m not even going to die. On the other hand I’m not going to die, so I’m not that pissed.
We are all breathing a little better here, celebrating with a bottle of wine, but I’ll be damned if I’m going back to Dr. Punjab the rabid badger.

[pwd72s]

Hellofa rant! You have every right to write it. My sympathy. So, what's with the PSA test? It's results caused the ordeal.

[Crowbob]

You're lucky the nurse didn't look at the rabid badger and ask, 'Who are you?'

[KFC911]

Soooo... you've been grouchy and ill tempered lately? I hadn't really noticed any difference .

Best to you Patrick!

[RWebb]

Good news, it's benign

Best wishes!

[masraum]

Congrats on not getting ready to drop dead. We'd prefer that you stick around a bit longer too. I guess no congrats are due for being passed around and probed like a two-bit ..... by a bunch-a-sailors on shore leave.

This seems oddly applicable. Do you want some ice cream?

[LWJ]

Congrats!

[vash]

that was some good writing. funny almost..and yet i cringed.

glad you came thru unscathed for the most part. enjoy the wine.

[Bill Douglas]

Phew.


And phew.




.

[peppy]

Glad you don't have cancer! Doctors can scare the crap out of you.

[Rikao4]

as angry as your are..
give your lady a hug..
she's been thru hell..
you toughed it out..
she loved you..

Rika

[gchappel]

I have rarely heard a patient complain when their biopsy came back negative.
That is absolutely wonderful news!
The only other outcome is you have cancer and need treatment- which is not pleasant.
I personally know hundreds of patients that would trade places with you in a second.
Go celebrate.

Gary

[Gretch]

Karma? Hate begets trouble.......... remember that.

[cabmandone]

Glad everything came back okay for you. Hope it takes some weight off the shoulders for ya. I know (not firsthand, have relatives with cancer) having that weighing on you while you wait to find out can be extremely stressful.

Did the doc at least buy you the bottle of wine after having his way with ya?

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by cabmando

Glad everything came back okay for you. Hope it takes some weight off the shoulders for ya. I know (not firsthand, have relatives with cancer) having that weighing on you while you wait to find out can be extremely stressful.

Yes, for MrsWD it was EXTREMELY stressful. She has had a lot of people disappear from her life (her mother died when she was 8). This was not my first rodeo, as I said, I've had either 3 or 4 biopsies over the years and it has never been dealt with this way. The usual progression is;

GP notices high PSA
GP sends you to a urologist
Urologist does a biopsy and (always in my case so far) he says don't worry.

THIS time, with MrsWD always in the room listening, the GP sent me straight to an oncologist who went straight to "metastatic" and terrified MrsWD. I had to go through about $25,000 worth of MRIs etc while she cried and wrung her hands. I've been through this so many times I was pretty sure it was yet another false alarm, but they had my poor wife thinking I was all but on my death bed.
I'm happy I'm OK. I'm not happy about how this was handled.

Originally Posted by cabmando

Did the doc at least buy you the bottle of wine after having his way with ya?

That would be no.

[Evans, Marv]

I'm among the many here who are glad we'll have to put up with you for a while longer. The drama of waiting must have understandably taken its tole but, like already said, didn't come across too much. I'm assuming you're just one of many who have a high PSA, but for some unidentifiable reason - so far. Congrats on your coming through some rough waters and arriving safe on shore.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Funny as hell, which I'm sure it hurt like, but overall great news! I guess would you rather all that stress and no cancer vs. no stress and you're dead. So we're all lucky you'll be sticking around.

"Dr. Punjab, the Rabid Badger" would make a great children's book title. It would certainly curry favor with some grandparents depending on the ending.

[berettafan]

man sorry you had to go through that.

[Jeff Higgins]

Damn, Patrick - I know we've butted heads many times over the years, but I've always considered you one of the "good guys" around here - I'm awfully glad to hear that you came out of this relatively unscathed, having suffered no more than a good deal of grief and aggravation. Give Mrs. WD a big hug for all of us, 'cause it sounds like she suffered with you. Glad you're o.k....

[JackDidley]

Originally Posted by berettafan

man sorry you had to go through that.

Yes, sounds terrible. Glad the future is not terrible for you though.