My poor neighbor
 

He's not really competent at anything, and I can't count the times I've thought, "How can you be so stupid?"
But he's a nice guy who means well, just naive and, well, inept at about everything.
He was out of the country last winter when his favorite dog died. He caught the last plane out of Sydney to come home before Australia locked down due to the virus. He wasn't home a month before he had to have his other dog put down. A couple of months after that his wife passed away. Then his cat died. Something happened to one of his eyes and now he has to have an injection into his eyeball every month. A couple of weeks ago some drunk rear ended his beloved 1981 Chevy pickup and totaled it. He loved that truck, even though it was a rusted out, worn out (350k miles!) POS. I put a starter in it for him a couple of years ago and marveled at how a truck can leak so much oil and still be a rust bucket. But I digress.
This morning he went to his floor "safe" (just a box built into the floor and covered by rugs and furniture) to get out some of his wife's jewelry that he was planning to give away as Christmas gifts.
It was empty. The hinges had been removed.
We all know the lowlife POS who did it. It was someone he trusted and he had let them stay overnight at the house a few times recently. Lots of stuff with sentimental value, some good jewelry, and 2 guns gone.
I feel so bad for him. The robbery brought back memories of the time an employee I trusted went on a shopping spree through my house and shop. The feeling of being violated is devastating. I wish there was something I could do for him.

Never underestimate the power of a good bluff. You know who did it, and he has 24 hours to return the stuff, no questions asked, or you turn the hidden video over to police.

That is horrible string of bad luck.

It is tough sometimes watching stupid people struggle through life. No one deserves to be robbed, and that really sucks.

OMG.

what a crap string of luck.

i have a buddy that had worst luck.

i hope it all turns around for him.

Depends on how long ago it happened...probably all gone to pawn shops or ebay by now.

As a fellow AMD (age related macular degeneration) sufferer also getting those shots, and having suffered 3 pet losses in the past year...I really feel for the guy. Thank God I didn't suffer his other losses. If nothing else, he has a high tolerance for bad things happening. Can't imagine how he must feel.

DO support him all you can. If a guy ever needed a friend, he sure as hell does...

^I'm hoping on the "recently"

-and, sorry to hear about the overall year.

If there is an opportunity to checkmate the offender into returning at least some of it(perhaps there is, perhaps not), then all the better. You will at least have some proof. If not, I'm assuming the guns will have to be reported as stolen anyway (assuming they are legit) ?

"We don't want trouble. We just want it fixed by Christmas"

Might be a good time to remind the perpetrator that Ohio has passed the "stand your ground" law. Do it while holding a shovel and a bag of lime.

Also tell him you have a backhoe...

I've often wondered how many deep and unmarked graves are located in midwest corn fields. Maybe the same number as in the desert surrounding Vegas.

Well, the sheriff was over to take the complaint a couple of hours ago. Turns out the couple who stayed overnight have outstanding warrants. The deputy took DNA samples off of the safe instead of finger prints (I've never hear of that ) and samples of things left in the bathroom they used. They both have been in prison and have DNA on file. If there is any good news it is that his wife was the county prosecutor for 25 years and was apparently loved by all. One of the guns stolen was the gun provided to her by the county when she was prosecutor, so they have the serial #. Everybody in the sheriff's office knows him and he will get the best efforts the county can muster.

The simple fact is that IQ is distributed on a bell curve. For every person in the top 2% there is someone in the bottom 2%. Fully 8% of the US population has an IQ of 70 or lower. That's about 28 million people. People with low IQs are usually able to present themselves in a (mostly) socially appropriate way, which masks their true abilities. But the fact of the matter is that large segments of our population simply do not have the cognitive ability to make good decisions.

This article is a good long read that discusses the social effects of people on the low end of normal intelligence and the challenges they pose to society. There's a historically interesting discussion of the military's reduction in intelligence requirements during the Vietnam War (McNamara's Morons) and the science behind comparing their capabilities and experiences with their more fortunate counterparts. https://quillette.com/2018/08/25/the-dangers-of-ignoring-cognitive-inequality/

The takeaway is that many people who act like they don't have any common sense and don't learn from their mistakes are on low low end of the bell curve and they really don't have the capacity to know better. This understanding has shaped my view of the world and has made me more tolerant of people who I previously might have been a little mean to if I thought they were being deliberately goofy. I suspect the poor neighbor falls into that category and he is fortunate to have had a good wife and neighbors who could help him.

That's great news....God bless the good folks in "flyover" country.

Old guy? Most states have special laws on the books for taking advantage of the elderly that severely increases the punishment.
Even if he "allowed " them into his house, this might seal the deal.

Sounds like he'd have no luck at all if it weren't for the bad luck.

Good thing he's dialed in at the County. Hopefully they'll make it right for him.

Sounds like an average guy - not much in the OP do I read that anything that "happened" to him is his fault - ie: him being "stupid." Sounds like a patch of some very bad luck.
I'm glad the LEO folks are helping out.

What a story. Thanks for helping him out and let's hope the police catch the perps and he gets her/his stuff back.

Couldn't agree more. Don't see how that "low IQ" post related here at all.

It's not. I want to read MRM's link, maybe there is an answer there, but D. isn't stupid. He has a masters in something and taught high school and night classes at the community college. He is great at playing piano, cooks, and raises a garden, is simply inept at the most basic things most of us take for granted. I can't figure it out.

Yeah, that post is a candidate for Most inappropriate of the year. I see no one has yet quoted it giving the poster time to delete it. I'm doing the same courtesy.

I don't think common sense is dealt out equally with smarts.
I'll never forget my brother saying he saw a PHd grad student trying to put in a tapped hole in some aluminum. He had a tap mounted in a drill press. Mind you, this was at the Lawrence Livermore Labs up behind UCB. My brother happened to ask him what he was doing. The conversation went something like this:

Putting in a tapped hole so I can screw in a bolt

Don't you think you should drill a hole first?

I thought that's what the tap was for. What size hole should I drill?

(My brother happened to know the tap drill size for the tap he was using and told him)

How do you know that's the right size?

My brother pointed out the big chart hanging on the wall that showed all the different tap drill sizes.

Now mind you, this guy was a PHd student.

So I can easily see where D. is from that standpoint.

Best of luck to your neighbor Patrick .... hopefully things will get better. As to MRM's post, I think the first sentence in this thread might have prompted it... but he's better at explaining stuff than I will ever be ;).

I understand. I worked with Dave for a while. Nice guy. Totally incompetent. Had a degree in engineering. Couldn't hold a job. Sad.

Why would you call this person "stupid" on an internet forum. Seems to me the poor man has had a string of bad luck his intelligence or educational background has little to do with it. You say he is a nice guy don't you think he deserves a little more respect?

Poor lad. I have a stupid, mentally crazy neighbor and all folks on this street know of his odd antics. Id trade you up for your neighbor over my psyco neighbor in a second....

"He's not really competent at anything, and I can't count the times I've thought, 'How can you be so stupid?'" Is more of a comment about me than about him. It is what I thought at times, not what I ever said about him. He isn't stupid, but he does some boneheaded things.
And you are right, it has little (but some) to do with his string of bad luck.
However, this spring he did let some random guy give him an estimate for remodeling his bathroom - $2200 half up front in cash. Daniel gave him $1100, no receipt. The guy walked out the door and has not been heard from since. And he let two convicted felons stay at his house for a week. MrWD kept telling him not to trust them, to kick them out. Instead he loaned them $200 and now his safe is empty.

I thought the IQ article was an interesting read. I took the article as referring to the thiefs and not the friend.

Ditto.

Trust and or mistrust in others does not seem related to intelligence, rather empathy or compassion.

There will always be people of low character to take advantage of compassion, sadly.

Sorry to hear about your neighbor.

One opinion.

Editorial
Clever sillies: Why high IQ people tend to be deficient in common sense
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306987709005556
Why do clever people do stupid things? Psychologists split on 'link' between IQ and lack of common sense
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/why-do-clever-people-do-stupid-things-psychologists-split-link-between-iq-and-no-common-sense-a6921361.html


Google: Difference between intelligence and common sense.

Going to get a lot of different answers and explanations.

You perhaps didn't intend the opening sentence to be insulting or comical but simply scientific.

Somehow it is all three, and that is not intended to be insulting or comical either.

I just skimmed the paper, looks like an interesting read that I will get back to later.

I've worked in a hardware store. My takeaway - even though you might know how to calculate the speed necessary for two particles to crash into each other to split an atom doesn't mean you know how to assemble a nut onto a bolt - or even know which is the nut and which is the bolt.

We all have our place in the world.

I can't wait to find mine.

Patrick, you're a truly nice neighbor. D was lucky the day you moved in.

Yep, raw intelligence and common sense are definitely not the same thing and frequently don't coexist in the same person. So many other qualities in a person also affect decision making, like laziness, stubbornness, ego, etc.

I agree that the guy this thread is about suffered a bout of terrible luck and WD's description of him didn't really have much to do w that except when he got to the empty safe. The poor guy did that to himself by being extremely naive in letting criminals stay in his house. I have a policy about being other people's victim...I don't allow it. I've paid for motel rooms for people down on their luck multiple times but no one stays in my home unless I specifically invited them and want them here. I don't even tell random acquaintances exactly where I live.

If I do let someone in my home, they are a trusted friend. I happen to have quite a lot of valuables plus guns and sometimes cash in my crib, so if a bad person ever got in, they would have hit pay dirt. I trust my real friends 100% and everyone else on a sliding scale. Don't ever let strangers or people you have questions about into your home. It's an avoidable bummer that is completely unnecessary. Help people in other ways, if you want.

Sounds like a good chance of the perps facing some rural Ohio pokey time. Keep us updated!

With all due respect, the neighbor guy is a total idiot.

Without wanting to pile on since I don’t know the guy and he’s done me no harm - the thought that his wife was a DA for years but yet he *still* lets two skells stay overnight does point to a person that has more empathy than sense, regardless of his qualifications.

Emotionally vulnerable lonely people perhaps suffering a bit of depression might seek the company of others that will not judge them, will not challenge them, and will not seek to fix them and point out their flaws.

When a person lets a loser (or two) into their life it elevates them because they are more sorted than the loser, and can feel better about their own situational in a relative manner.

Irresponsible losers can be fun to be with, like a pet that accepts you unconditionally.

The losers may not judge you (or this neighbor) because in a straight on contest they know they will fall short, so they do what they can to stay ahead of consequences resulting from their poor decisions.

I am getting into a lot of amateur psychology with this, but in short I think given the short end of the stick the neighbor has been given he needs professional help sorting though the mess. I know that I would.

https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/1g...98dc4c7827.jpg

https://moderntherapy.online/blog-2/2019/4/16/how-does-psychiatry-differ-from-psychology
https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/c...g?format=1500w

How to Choose a Therapist and Prepare for Your First Appointment
https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/mind/mental-health/how-to-choose-a-therapist
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1608661212.jpg
What can he lose that hasn't already been taken?

Mental Health in America
https://onlinedegrees.bradley.edu/blog/mental-health-in-america/

Sounds like a David Eddings book.

I once worked with a guy that had the worst luck I had ever seen . We kiddingly said he was born under a Polish black cloud 😊 . Anything that could go wrong did for Larry . Didn't matter if it was house/car/appliances/children if it could go wrong it did .

To the OP I hope your neighbor can turn it around and law enforcement can come through for him .

A lot of truth here. She used to try to help the very people she put in jail after they got out. She was selective about who she helped, because she knew them when she put them away. She has a sense for the ones that were salvageable. They even formally adopted one of them. He has taken on the mantle of helping criminals, but he doesn't have the discerning filter she had. He gets a call about every month, "I just got out of jail/prison and I don't have a place to stay." His answer too many times is "Sure, come on over." Crazy, just crazy.
He and MrsWD are good friends - coffee and cigarettes every morning and a "Coke and a smoke" every afternoon. She tries to counsel him but he won't listen.
There have been 2 problems in the past with D's "orphans" but this one takes the cake. MrsWD is freaked out. She wants security cameras and a 380 ASAP.
I'm looking at the Blink system and trying to talk her into a bigger gun. She tried the shotgun but it's too much for her. We are going to test out pistols for her in a couple of days.
Today, just like with the time I was robbed, he kept noticing things that were gone. His garage door openers were gone. The key to his barn was gone. The couple is clearly planning to come back. So I spent this afternoon breaking into his barn so I could change the lock. I told him to unplug the garage door opener and he pushed back with, "No, I can just slide this lock thingy over ..." I had had enough, I told him, "Daniel! Unplug the damn door opener AND slide the lock thingy and stop arguing with me. I don't want to come over here and find you dead!"
The guy just doesn't know what he doesn't know.

And tomorrow I need to go over and install his new toilet before he ruins it. :(

My wife prefers an AR to a shotgun. I joke about accuracy by volume but she’s quite competent with one. Last time we were at the range she took off the eotech and popped up the iron sights - she said it made it too easy. My response was ‘that’s kind of the idea’.
If your wife isn’t carrying it around you might want to try one.

10 Early Signs and Symptoms of Alzheimer's
Decreased or poor judgment
https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/10_signs
There might be additional problems, or could just be stress taking it's toll.

Sounds like you are doing all you can and more, very commendable.

Have you told him no more ex-cons or you and the wife are moving away?

It might come to that.

Do you have a dawg Patrick? If the missus is worried .... GSD ;)

As far as spoons.... a shotspoon loaded with Fiocchi defensive load buckshot is tame in recoil by comparison to others.

Best to you and your friend....

At some things. I have doctor and lawyer friends like that. Definitely not idiots, but not mechanically capable or worldly.

For sure on that. Like he would listen.