OP - I am 1 year older than you. 24 years ago I was just starting my own small business and had made friends with a competitor who would sub-contract me to help him when he was too busy.

I eventually moved out of my home office and sublet a room in his office (pre-internet to have access to his records was huge) and we got to become very good friends with Richard. We had a tradition of walking over to an Irish Pub 2 blocks from our office on Wednesday evenings and having a drink together and chatting.

He would have a Chardonnay and I was grab a cheeky pint of Irish swill. The bartender eventually got to know us so well, the drinks were being poured as we walked in every week.

Richard was 50 at the time I was 30. I remember asking Richard what advice he would give a guy just starting out in our business and the answer was not what I was expecting.

I was expecting some advice on how to run my business, etc.. instead he told me to take care of myself first and foremost, mentally and physically everything else does not matter.

Richard then told me his story. He had a heart attack at 43 years old. He was 60 lbs overweight and was bringing home a 12 pack of beer every night and about polishing it off.

He was wearing a pace maker and was on blood thinners. He looked good slim, fit and healthy looking. He told me to join a gym and take it easy on the drinking and make sure I had the stress in check.

In May of 2000 Richard was standing at a deli counter ordering some lunch about 1 block from our office. He had an aneurysm and essentially dropped dead right there at the deli counter. We was put on life support for about 4 days before it was decided to unplug him and let him go. 53 years old, way too young to drop dead.

His widow offered me a chance to buy the company he left behind, I kept thinking of what he told me and kept saying no, thinking in my head, I do not want to end up like Richard.

I eventually caved and purchased the business as she could not find a buyer and was closing it down. My holding out was not a negotiation tactic, but my pause did get me a great deal and saved me a couple hundred thousand. That was not my intention, it just worked out that way.

I did real good concerning personal health until AFTER the 6 year great recession ended. Then I got really busy and for the last 5 years have been neglecting my personal health, working insane hours, and if I am honest with myself, drinking too much. The last one I have been conscious of and have cut back immensely.

For the last year, I keep telling myself, next week you need to make time for the gym and start getting yourself back in shape. I am not in horrible shape, I am not over weight do not have a pot belly or beer guy whatever its called, I can feel I lost a lot of muscle mass and I do not feel nearly as strong.

Thanks for this thread, just thinking about and typing this over a cup of coffee this morning is making me think about some changes I need to make in my life.

I need to get back to my life pre-great recession. I was working to live back then, my days were great. In the gym every morning at 7-730, wander into the office which was already buzzing at 830-9. Spent the day checking work, consulting with employees and clients. I was out by 5PM ready to have a fun evening with my family. Every weekend off, many vacations, lots of time away from the office because it could run itself. I was working via email with my 2nd in command from vacations a couple of hours a day.

Looking back, I really miss those days, I am putting in 70-100 hour weeks right now trying to undo the damage from the great recession, I am actually about 2 months away from being back to 100% debt free and loving that feeling.

My next move is to get my life back, I put my head down, got through that mess, cleaned up the damage from it and now it is time to work to live again.

TLDR- Sage advice from an older friend:

- Take care of your health, mental and physical.

Advice from me, what I have realized over the years:

- Work to live, do not live to work.

^^^Jim. I get this more than you would think! Thanks! PM me if you want support/to talk/whatever. I needed to read this.

Just one more thing: "Don't worry about anything that's temporary" - Scott Adams.

It sounds easy but it's not.

If someone wants to love you, let them.

Just today I picked up my daughter to take her home from the airport. I was pulling a trailer so as I was dropping her off I said it’s too tight to back the trailer so I’m gonna go around the block and pass by again on my way out.

So as I pass by I see her, her husband and their two beautiful boys just a wavin’ and smiling and yelling I love you Grampa!

Done. Another best day of my life! More to come.

Let them, but beware of their motives...

Ben Franklin: Simplify, simplify.



Crowbob: Simplify.

if you are ever banned from ANY forum on the web, there is probably a good reason behind it, so don't re-join under an alias. Just poor form and general ass-hattery.

Lots of sage advice here.

Not going to rehash anything, so my advice would be to read some Stoic writings.

Learn to worry less. Don't sweat the things that you can't control. Deal with life's problems calmly and prioritize that which is most important.

Strengthen your connections with loved ones, let bygones be bygones. Don't hold anger inside.

In a few billion years all that mankind has ever produced, built or written shall be enveloped by our sun and be forever gone. After all, we are only dust in the wind. Nothing lasts forever.