ARGH! Dang robo calls.
 

I am getting a lot of robo calls on my cell number.

Today was one about the cost of funerals. Pure robot or IA call, so I figured time to fight back.

Q: Are you aware of the high cost of funerals?
A: Potato Chips!

Q: How old are you?
A: Rubber bands.

Q: have you discussed your wishes with your loved ones?
A: I like turtles!

Finally a human picks up, and the voice went from male actor professional announcer to some female with a tick accent I had no idea what it was. I keep up with the random answers, and only occasionally something to keep her on the line. I waste two minutes of her time before she hangs up.

I got the "My SS number will be suspended" due to fraud BS call.

I got one from a human that wanted to buy my house. I quoted a price 5 times market value. He promised to call me back, and has not as yet.

No car warranty calls this week.

And I have to answer my phone as it is my business line. On occasion it is a new customer.

There is a solution, make ALL calls show a REAL caller ID, and eliminate the spoofing. The technology is available now. I can only guess the telemarketers are donating to a lot of politicians reelection committees and buying some nice dinners paying for some nice vacations.

Everyone hates telemarketing calls. Even telemarketers. Don't you know they get off work, and get that same BS calls we all get.

I no longer answer numbers that are not in my directory. Leave a message, I'll call back.

That is fine for personal calls. Kinda harsh treatment for customer calls to a business. I sure would not appreciate having to leave a message if I call a business.

Semi-retired but I still have the same landline I used when I was in business.

Magic Jack with feature to eliminate robo-calls so I never get them.

Only use my cell phone for emergencies.

Peace and quiet but YMMV......

"We are sorry but our representative is on the other line. We value your call, and if you leave a message we will return your call"

If I were in your position Glen, I would have a voicemail message that explains why you are not answering, ask them to leave a number, and call them back immediately. In this day and robocall age.... I doubt you would any issues with customers not "getting it".

I applaud your third answer. :)

Bonus points if you can work in "WE'RE DOMED!!!!!"

"We are ALL DOMED!!!"

"DOMED I TELL YA!!!!"

I’m like Glenn where I need to answer the phone even if I don’t know the number- VM is a time suck pain too, so I just answer any reasonable looking number and hope.

It seems like if you answer a tele call, they must immediately sell your number to others as more come soon after.

I joke that you could run for President on just the platform of ending tele calls- nothing else, no opinions on any other topic or issue and you would win.

iPhone has a place to Ignore all calls from unknown numbers. They get my reply which says to leave a message. They rarely do

Nonsense... they just exclaim "got another sucker" (in Chinese) and the rest of the call center girls commence dialing :D.

I even get VMs.... they don't pronounce my name correctly, and I can hear the background chatter.

Keet, are you there Keet?

All from my area code of course and it will continue...

Naw.... Keet ain't here :D

Tabby will put ya on speed dial ;)!

The social security fraud call...I hit one, got the live guy. Asked if he had my file...he said yes. Then told him I'd lost my card, and wondered if he could tell me the number?

Click...

I got a call last week. I said Hi, he said Hi. I said "who is this" and he chuckled and said you don't recognize your grandson's voice. I said that's impossible - I don't have a grandson. Click.

Caller ID usually says spam risk.
Every once in a while one gets through.

I don't answer calls unless I know who's calling. But once in awhile I slip up. Then it's usually, "Didn't you know your camera is on and you're facetiming me? You ought to do something about your (insert body part here)."

Then I hang up.

I only get 1 or 2 per day. If I dont have you in the phone I do not answer. Voice mail is easy to use. Use it.

I’ve been getting my power is about to be shut off due to non-payment calls lately. I used to get my credit cards will be canceled calls. The themes seem to change over time.

Call blocking?

It seems as if there is a conflict of interest . The people who could possibly do something about it , are making money off these constant calls .
I used to not pick up unless it was a number that I recognized, now they spoof numbers that have recently called me .
You just gotta have fun with it. The answer to any of their questions is always " your mom"

Have this on a piece of paper and read it to the recording:

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither idolaters, nor adulterers, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ESV (edited so as to not offend some folks)

^^^^ I would just sing "Jesus loves me...."

If the song doesn't make 'em hang up.... the singing will :D!

Wasn't there a Jame Bond or something like that where a disappointing henchman was on the phone with the evil villain who hit a button that killed the guy? Why isn't that an app yet?

I think you've got it!

I have been answering some of the calls when I am not busy.

I keep getting the same AI robo call about funeral costs. Same voice, same questions.

This time I asked if he was a robot, and there was a longer pause and he replied he is speaking through a computer and that is why there is a delay. Yea, right.

I started asking random questions, and asked if he liked blond, brunet or redheads the most, and he just asked another question about funerals. Then I asked if he liked french fries, and he said no. Then I said everyone on Earth likes French Fries, except the British, they refuse to give the French credit for anything and they call them chips.

They hung up on me. I guess they are French or British!

Ahh, you should have let him spin the tale of woe, assuming you had the time. They can get really creative with those. Last one ended when I said I had trouble figuring out who he is since my daughter never had any children...

I got one of those scam calls that started with just Grandpa!

Since I have no kids it is really rare and unusual to have grand-kids.

I let him tell me how they went to Vegas and drank too much and now he is in jail and needs bail money. I told him we taught all or kids and grand-kids to never touch the demon alcohol, then I cussed at him calling him several names, then I told him I hope he rots in jail, and I would just write him out of the will. Of course he never did give me a name. It does not matter, no grand kids of mine get a penny!

4 today so far which is a new record. And I've never answered any, only calls in my contacts.

The federal government wants to be in charge of huge government including health care. But they cannot figure out how to stop robo calls!!

Sometimes I will break out into " Im a little tea pot"

I use a free Android app called "Should I answer" and it blocks known spam. I also have it set to block any number not in my contacts. The only issue that presents is if I'm dealing with a vendor or something not in my contacts. I'll temporarily suspend the blocking of not in contacts numbers or get them in my contacts.

I never answer calls unless in contacts. But now they are so good at spoofing I answered one yesterday because it was shown as being from USAA, my carrier. After what seemed like a legitimate sequence that I seem to recall from calling before, they proceed into a long pitch about umbrella insurance and I’m exposed etc. I’m certain it’s a scam which becomes super evident when they try and “confirm” my contact info.

Me: My info hasn’t changed, it’s what you have in front of you.

Scammer: Yes, but we need to verify the info.

Me: So, yes, I’m verifying the info you have. 100% verifiable.

Scammer: Yes, but I’m not allowed to repeat it back to you.

Me: Then it’s our little secret isn’t it?

Scammer: Then just an email address will suffice. What is it?

Me: Yes, use my email please.

Scammer: Which one?

Me: The one you have. The secret one is fine….

Scammer: Impatiently says goodbye.

I love trying to keep these folks on the line as long as possible when time permits…..

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Y_ll_qnBNTY" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Can't easily do this with a business line but if its your home number or cell just change your voice message to the following. No one will ever call you again that does not know your voice. In fact most of your friends, family, dentist office will not call. The telemarketers will stop.

" You have reached the NSA, if you are an operative in need of assistance please leave a message with your call back number and operation code. A handler will call you back on secured communication in sixty seconds".

If you do happen to answer the phone and a telemarketer catches you do not give them a chance to talk, just roll into... " NSA safe house, this is a secured line , are you an operative in need of assistance? We have confirmed your location...."

Then give them a second compose themselves as they tend to panic. Usually they hang up or tell you no. Ask how did they obtain this number? They usually apologize. Then tell them to lose this number now and hang up.

Some telemarketer in Florida sounded like he jumped out a window when I told him we are in the building, you might here some loud noises.

Over the next few weeks to a month you will notice and unusual amount of hang ups. Then telemarketers tend to fade away.

Robos are different. Never ever call back or use your key pad. Just hang up. If its a recorded message and a human comes on the line at the end of the message roll into the NSA safe house script. Bust some balls and have a little fun with them.

and if the NSA ever does contact you. "Oh you mean Nessa the cleaning lady, she's not here. I think she went back to El Salvador". Thank you buh bye.

Live TM callers are rare. Computer voices even answer questions up to a point before transferring the call to a person.

I got fed up this morning and put my phone on 24 hour "Do not disturb." Changed my message to leave a message or text me with your name. Of course I have the let the favorites through option enabled for close family in case of a emergency.

Not even my customers can call me now, they can text (which they almost always do already). I mean who really talks on a phone anyway? I do all my medical stuff by email since doctor's offices don't use cell phones and can't text.

If I call out and get a recording I just start hitting 0. If that gets me somewhere I just say, "I'm sorry, I hit the wrong button, can you get me so and so?" If 0 doesn't work (a lot of places are on to that), I just wait out the recording and try the 0 again. Sometimes that ends the call (so they are REALLY on to that) and start over trying to behave like a normal punter.

Always ask for a name and extension and write down the time on a log. You will be surprised at the power you wield when you can recite who, what and when.

I like Jeff Hail's method. I might have to try that sometime.

My grandfather was an ad man. (Exactly like "Mad Men"). He started out at a dept store in the 1920's and ended up with an agency 25 people strong. Yet he had a button installed at the end of a cord to mute the TV when commercials came on (obviously in the 50's and no remotes). Ironic. He also was a smart ass. One night late some joker called drunk asking for "Joe." GD said calmly, "Didn't your hear? .... Joe died this morning."

Phone numbers then were 5 digits in those days, later with a 2-letter prefix (found on the dial under the number).

Long before cell phones, when I was single and the world was different, I had some old lady call me on Sunday morning about 6:00 AM and ask for Martha. She sounded like a sweet grandma to some family and I was polite and replied, no one named Martha lives here, you have a wrong number. She would apologize and I would try to go back to sleep. This happened three Sundays in a row, and I was done with polite.

The 4th time, I sobbed, Martha is dead! and then I hung up. She never called me again. I always wondered if she was walking down the hall at church or the grocery story and bumped into Martha. I did not care, I got to sleep in on Sunday morning.

I get either robocalls (some with realistic-sounding voices) or solicitations for bogus organizations (e.g. political action committees masquerading as charitable organizations).

Sometimes I really miss the Amway calls I used to get. One classic exchange:

Solicitor: Our detergent is second to none in getting out stains...
Me: Will it get out blood stains?
S: Of course
M: Will it get out both animal blood... and human blood stains?
S: Yes
M: What about large stains...of human blood? We're talking about quite a number of really large blood stains here...both now and the ones I'm planning on making - sorry, I mean getting accidentally...
S: click

That last 2 days have been a joy. Once in awhile I look at my phone and see all these 'missed' calls. 6 so far today.

I haven't been stopped in the middle of something since I turned that btich off. Worse scenario was having to pull gloves off.

My wife got me one of these. It has been my telemarketer strategy for the week
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/xPEkWFGPKhc" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

My dad had one of those 25 years ago. It only says 3 things and one of them is, "Eat siht."

I gotta go find that thing. It still works.