Boating and chipping in for gas
 

My wife wants me to take her friends husband fishing. I’ve taken him 3-4 times in the past. He stops and buys about $10 in bait. We go out for the day and when we get back he heads to his car.

I generally burn at least $200 if I go offshore. Guides here get $1,500 to $2,000 per day.

I told my wife I’m not taking him anymore, it bothers me that he doesn’t offer to help clean the boat or chip in for gas. He has owned a boat in the past, and he can well afford it. So he should have a idea what it cost and time to clean and flush the boat.

He is a nice enough guy, but except for our wife’s being friends we do nothing together.

My friends always chip in, and my son at least cleans the fish and helps out with the boat and gets bait.

I’m going out this weekend and taking my son, my wife wants me to ask this guy to go along. It doesn’t cost me anymore to take him, but I said no. The wife’s not mad, but she’s not happy either.

Am I being unreasonable expecting something. I’d be happy with $50, i don’t know why it bothers me so much, but it does.

Now I gladly take friends out for a boat ride or load up to go to the sandbar or beach and I don’t want anything for that. But this bothers me.

I had a boat and experienced the same. He should pay for ALL the gas! You pay for the boat and all that goes with it all year. Sometimes I got companions that thought they were doing me a favor paying for 1/2 the gas.

Yeah, no. Go with your buddies and forget about this DB. I’d rather go alone than be with someone who is not grateful.

"Gas, Grass, or...."

He should pay for all the gas (or at least make the offer) imo...

Nobody rides for free :D

It is similar with an airplane. I have some friends that ask for an airplane ride in our airplane. Most have no idea what is cost to fly a Cessna 182.

My business partner is the pilot, and flying is just a job for him now, and he does not fly for fun.

pays for gas.

my friend never asks it of me. if by chance we need fuel, my CC is out and ready. i rarely pay, since we rarely stop for fuel.

so twice a year, i hire a guide at another lake (he doenst tow his boat anywhere) and gift him a trip. he tries to pay, but i tell him to stuff it. :)

No. You've given him opportunities to do the right thing. Time to cut him loose.

He sounds like a real piece of work.....:rolleyes:......I hate chicken chit cheap azzes like that!

I use to own a plane and it was much the same.

BTW...this is much your fault as anyone else's.

Fuel cost should be divied up by all participants. That's sorta the unspoken rule, isn't it? That's how we've always done it (except when I've taken dates out - see KC's post).

The day starts out: "OK guys.....fuel cost came to $90......so that's $30 a piece."

Do it this way and everyone feels they are more a part of the excursion than just some "dead weight" along for the ride.

You're actually doing them a a favor.

Makes sure they pay in cash, too! ;)

Gas and cleanup byche.

Counterpoint. If you invite him, you are the host. He’s not hiring you. Possible he thinks you’d be insulted if he offers money when he was invited as your guest?

This is always an interesting discussion/perspective.

If I get invited to go fishing, and I often do, I pay for 1/2 the gas and pay for all my stuff, buy extra for the boat owner, etc.

But these are my friends...we are in it for the grab-a$$ and friendship, not the fishing...at least I am. I hate to fish.

If I ask them to take a friend or a family member, I pay full freight...their boat, my need.

One of my neighbors has a J-3 Cub and we used to fly once a month or so before he died last year. Unlike fishing, I love to fly. I paid for all the gas, he paid for lunch.

In your case, DM, he can stay on shore.

Feelings.

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Then the 'guest' needs to think some more.

When we used to water ski every Wednesday afternoon in the marina we all helped to wash the salt water off the entire boat (and trailer) while the owner ran clear water through the motor. We all bought all the beer needed as well. As for gas, I don't remember how that was taken care of, but if he wasn't putting it on is daddy's company CC, I sure we all offered up a tenner. Gas was about a buck a gallon when I skied.

Minimum of 3 to ski but we often had 4. 2 hours of taking turns was a work out.

I agree with most here.
He should not have to be told to chip in.
But apparently he does have to be told.
I would tell him before I just ditched him.
Look beach, gas aint free!

Offer to kick in for gas, if they refuse, buy the beer… 🤣. If that doesn’t work, leave $50 in the cup holder of their truck while they aren’t looking!


I don’t know why you need to invite him. You are taking your son out, why bring along some random dude.

I could see bringing him if you wanted to go and she didn’t want you out in the ocean alone, but you have your son, go enjoy the day with him!

He could be totally oblivious to this... Would I expect him to pay ALL the gas, absolutely not. As was mentioned, he is your guest. You're going out anyway.. Should he chip in? Absolutely.. These hobbies cost money.. If he offers and you turn him down, well thats another story.. The idea of mentioning it upfront should work. He'll either say yes or no based on if he wants to pay or not..

If you let YOUR wife know why you're no longer interested in inviting him along, I'd be willing to bet dollars to donuts that it will get back to him via HIS wife.

I think non-boat owning people may not realize how much more gas they burn.

A co-worker used to have a twin outboard Fountain center console and would take some of us out occasionally. One of the guests, my old boss, offered to pick up the tab when they stopped for gas on the way in. Once the pump readout passed $400, he rethought his offer and thought maybe splitting it was a better idea :)

If it were me, I wouldn't invite him at all, if the 2 of you do nothing else but this - its no friendship. So why waste your time, energy and resources to entertain someone who doesn't reciprocate? Seems like a no brainer to me.

The financial situation of the friend needs to be weighed in....IMO
I have some friends that $10 would be real iffy.
I also have friends that routinely drop hundreds for daily entertainment.

A bunch of us in the dorm got together when we moved out into apt's the next semester. One of the guys was able to bring his folks tri-hull down since he had a parking place for it. We'd ski in Mission Bay on the weekends. Everyone was given the rules before hand. Wash the trailer after putting the boat in the water, wash the boat and trailer after taking it out of the water and we all split the gas bill. We had some pretty good times, even in February when it was pretty cold out there. Wet suits were the norm on those days. Some where my wife has a picture of me in a wet suit taken on one of those weekends.

this

Yep, I'm with the rest on these guys. If he were a landlubber he could get a pass a few times. But you say he's had a boat? He knows the etiquette. At the very least he pays half but should buy all the fuel if just you two.

Around here boat owner pays nothing for the trip. Fuel, food, bait, tackle etc. is on the guests. Owner pay boat, dockage, insurance, maintenance.

Thanks guys, I didn’t think I was out of line. And he can well afford it, I think he’s just oblivious to it.

I’m not going to ask him again, we don’t do anything together. We are members of the same country club, but don’t golf in the same group. We have been out to eat a couple of times, and ive flown them down to key west a couple of times. It’s our wife’s who are friends.

I own a sailboat and I once asked a buddy to chip in a couple of bucks for diesel which he gladly did.

On the other hand, I also have a friend who lived on his Searay 42 aft cabin motor yacht. When I took my wife and daughters for an overnighter from Savannah to Hilton Head on his boat, when he reached Hilton Head and gassed up I gladly forked over the $150.00 to top up the tank. This to me was much cheaper then chartering and he greatly appreciated the gesture. Chipping in for gas if the boat is not yours is a NO BRAINER!

I would NOT pay to go offshore fishin'!

But I'll pay to get back :D

$200 is a sweetheart deal.... and he ain't that.

Done deal.

Even if he knew better, it doesn't sound like you'd want to spend time with him, anyway. Life's too short to feel taken advantage of by somebody. It bothers you- that's all that matters. For all you know, he may only be going along because his wife wants him to.

Invite me instead. I'll spring for the $12 guaranteed to hit bait and toss in $5 of spicy beef sticks:D

Last time I checked, it is customary for guest(s) to always offer for fuel or other at the very least for such trips, PLUS, help out with any chores once done for the day.

My best guess, this frenemy of yours is so damn cheap he likely goes to the laundromat to collect dryer lint to make thread from which he can make his undies.

Boating and chipping in for gas
 

I’ll start by saying I’m not a boat owner so I always offer to pay for gas and if it’s refused, there will be cash left in the owners truck or jacket. Lunch or dinner, I don’t take no for an answer. Instead I take the lead on it so there is no quarrel.

Absolutely helping cleaning or putting away the boat is a must. Heck, I was invited out by a vendor and did it just for the fun.

With that said, I wouldn’t demand cash of him upfront only because if **** goes sideways, it could be argued that you were operating as a charter.

Instead, I’d just stop inviting the guy.

I got invited to the Giants game on Father’s Day. It’s a 280 mile round trip. The guy that drove pulled up in his Massarti. $60 bucks to park. I pulled out $20 as there were three of us and he wouldnt take it. So, I bought three beers and three dogs for the group. $74. When we got home I offered to pay the gas but he wouldn’t take my money. At least I offered. Pretty generous guy is all I can say.

It's a matter of manners and respect. You are completely in the right and you owe him exactly zero in the way of an explanation, just cease inviting him. He is not a friend, as you pointed out.

My second-oldest friend, (since 1965), gave me a ride 50 miles away to check out a car. He was low and had to stop for gas, I filled his tank. Not even a second thought...what would an Uber have cost, both ways? :cool:

Sometimes it pays to be an insensitive borderline asberger's dick.
This kind of thing doesn't happen to me.
I say hey, you wanna go boating? All ya gotta do is show up and pay $$$$ for gas and help clean the boat etc.

he says OK, or no. Either way there's no problemo.

Or ...
hey where the heck do you think you're going, we still need to clean the boat and gas it up. Don't think you're getting off that easy ...


Being a nice guy seems like way too much work and $$$$

I wouldn’t care about the gas, but helping cleaning the boat would seem to be the minimum. Next time if there is a next time, just ask him politely once you get back if he would lend a hand cleaning the boat; that would answer the question of if you ever bring him along again.

I would pay for all the gas whether it was my boat or not. That's just me.

The other me says, lift one of your two outboards out of the water and head to the marina (for fuel) with just the one. Surely he would ask why. Then tell him you can only afford to run one, things are tight.

I never ask my guests to pay for fuel when I take them out. Its not that big of a deal to me. On the other hand most of my friends always chip in. Especially if we go on an offshore trip. They know how much it costs. Just hanging local on the bay, I wont even take money for fuel. I'll refuse it. If I go out on a friends boat I immediately toss them $$ for fuel. No questions asked.

.

I am the same way and agree with ya. I don't expect anything out of him if I invited him.

I have only been invited once to go fishing on someone's boat. I am so dumb that I never thought about the cost of fuel but I did offer to buy everyone dinner at a nice place but they all had to haul ass home so no dinner.

Common courtesy and class is not so common...I’d never take him again...Cheapskate!
Tim

He's not your sort of person. Don't invite him.

If he made some sort of effort like a fabulous lunch with drinks. Or Look's idea of dinner would be nice.