Being unintentionally rude

[john70t]

Just had a conversation with a tenant.
I said "The primer is a bit stinky, why don't we wait until your guests are gone".
It sounded bad as soon as I said it.
Like I was being impatient and wanted them to leave..
What I should have said was "We could wait until your guests have left".
This would imply giving her the choice as well, which is what I meant.

I notice I say things the wrong way all the time.
Someone at the store says "Have a nice day".
Occasionally I respond "Same here" instead of "You do the same and thanks for your help" or something like that.
Doh.

[herr_oberst]

As long as you say it with a twinkle in your eye and a lilt in your voice, you can get away with a lot of misspeaking

Don't beat yourself up over it.

[pwd72s]

Yep..we've all done it. Only in the movies do people always say the exact right thing for the situation...and that's because they have people like Jack Olsen writing the dialog.

Life is full of the "what I shoulda said" thoughts.

[masraum]

It doesn't sound rude to me. It sounds to me like you're being considerate of them and their guests.
"I don't want to create an unpleasant environment for you and your guests so I'll wait" <- to me that is basically what you said.
If anyone took offense at what you said, I'd be pretty unconcerned. But then I'm not sensitive and, I think, relatively no-nonsense.

I do know that there are lots of sensitive folks in the world that get offended by all sorts of stuff that I would consider completely benign or at least neutral. I would prefer not to offend, and I try not to most of the time. But I don't think that you can never offend anyone.

[911 Rod]

I can be a soft talker sometimes.
It bothers me if I think someone did not hear me say thank you.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by 911 Rod

I can be a soft talker sometimes.
It bothers me if I think someone did not hear me say thank you.

That would bother me too. Fortunately, I've NEVER been accused of being a "soft talker." I prefer to think of it as either "my voice carries" or "I can really project my voice." I probably should have been a stage actor

[stevej37]

Originally Posted by herr_oberst

As long as you say it with a twinkle in your eye and a lilt in your voice, you can get away with a lot of misspeaking

Don't beat yourself up over it.

This is very true. With the right inflection....the words go by.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by stevej37

This is very true. With the right inflection....the words go by.

I've had a couple of buddies that could say anything to anyone and they never reacted.

Then I've seen folks that said something completely benign that irritated folks, apparently due to how they said it.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by masraum

I've had a couple of buddies that could say anything to anyone and they never reacted.

Then I've seen folks that said something completely benign that irritated folks, apparently due to how they said it.

Yup

The tone and manner in which one tells another to **** off can elicit either a laugh or a punch in the face.

[look 171]

Originally Posted by masraum

It doesn't sound rude to me. It sounds to me like you're being considerate of them and their guests.
"I don't want to create an unpleasant environment for you and your guests so I'll wait" <- to me that is basically what you said.
If anyone took offense at what you said, I'd be pretty unconcerned. But then I'm not sensitive and, I think, relatively no-nonsense.

I do know that there are lots of sensitive folks in the world that get offended by all sorts of stuff that I would consider completely benign or at least neutral. I would prefer not to offend, and I try not to most of the time. But I don't think that you can never offend anyone.

I agree with this. I don't think its ride at all.

[wdfifteen]

We've all done it. I feel awful afterward. It's one of those things you have to live with I guess.

This one still sticks with me. I was a jerk

[MBAtarga]

One thing that gets me is when you say do a evening checkout at the grocery store - and the clerk says Have a nice day!...
The DAY is over! It should be have a nice evening....

[stevej37]

^^^ I have no problem with that.
It just tells me that they have put in a full day and are tired of dealing with us.

[Baz]

John - pat yourself on the back for caring enough to second guess yourself.

That's a quality many do not possess.

[john70t]

It might sound cliche, but the right words might carry people through a crappy day.
The world is smaller than we think.

[herr_oberst]

This is so true.

And sometimes, in the words of the comedian Mike Birbiglia, "what I should have said was nothing"

(Unfortunately, I have a 'tone' and my voice has 'timber' and I don't always know when to say 'nothing' so I've learned to make my amends when feelings get hurt - unintentionally or not)

[Bill Douglas]

Originally Posted by herr_oberst

in the words of the comedian Mike Birbiglia, "what I should have said was nothing"
)

Usually I'm ever so polite and say nothing.

But in .5 of a second I can switch into our quaint local dialect and let rip, probably, better than the best.

[speeder]

The other evening, I was about to leave a social gathering and there were some people standing behind my car, talking. At least two of them were hot women. I had been in conversation with them and then wanted to politely ask them to move so as to not run them over.

"I'm going to pull out now."

Schit.

[3rd_gear_Ted]

Disney's first rule of guest engagement is to empathize with them.

Hard to do sometimes with your tenant, I've been there.

(my attempt @ empathy in my answer)

[wildthing]

I waved back to a woman whom I thought was waving at me. She was waving at the guy next to me. I pretended to hail a cab to the airport and now I'm starting my new life in Poland.