Knowing When To Let It Go
 

There's an old story about a cat who sat at the edge of the railroad track and when a train wheel ran over his tail, severing it, leaped to attack and was crushed by the next wheel.
The moral of the story being: Don't lose your head over a piece of tail.
I know the story refers to a situation with a young man and his first relationship, but there seems to be a parallel with the behavior of some when they find themselves in conflict with others.
Here for example we are on an internet site discussing things with people, most of whom we are unlikely to ever meet. Yet some members will become so invested in their point of view (if they indeed have one) it is not unusual for the thread to devolve into name calling.
Sometimes I actually feel sorry for individuals who can carry the burden of so much bitterness.
Surely that can't be healthy.

So: how do you handle it? Can you put it aside or does it worry your soul like a dog with a bone?
In my younger years, I used to hold onto things that had no great consequence in the long run.
As my father used to say,"In 50 years neither you nor I will care about this. "
Life is too short.

Best
Les

+ 1 Well said

I tend not too worry about things I cannot change or influence.
Those things include government, world affairs, natural events, the economy, and so on.
Pretty much everything that gets discussed on these forums. In short, I am just here for the entertainment value.

:D You got me. I do have a cardigan. It was my father's.
However I never wear it as it is much too large. I guess I keep it up in the closet for sentimental reasons.

I didn't know you could even spell curmudgeon! Well done!

Best
Les

Going through the grocery line at Kroger, the cashier thanked us (my wife, and I) for being so nice, and respectful. I said "what, no need to thank us" !

She replied that a majority of customers that day (Sunday afternoon) were rude, and cranky, and in foul moods. I that her that I couldn't believe that people walk around with chips on their shoulders daring someone to bump them, and generally being azzholes....sorry state of affairs we are in.

My father use to tell me that as we get older, we become more mellow. I found, for some people, that's the exact opposite. They get cranked way up with just one sentence and this is over the computer. Like you said, from someone whom they have and will never met. Why? That we will never know. Now I know where cranky old man comes from.

CKelly, I was at Burger King and a white woman - her especially, and her white guy were giving the Indian lady behind the counter hell, and telling her to go back to where you come from etc. Not trying to throw fuel on the fire, but I said to the Indian lady "You guys are most welcome here, thanks for working at BK, and here's $20 to buy a bottle of wine on the way home. Please ignore these white trash people, they'll be on their way home to Wainuiomata soon." Haha, the trash people shut up as they sensed it wasn't a good idea to carry on. The nice Indian lady wouldn't take the $20 and said she is pretty used to it. She just let it go and got on with her day.

I started a response to this and then realized no one is going to care what I think about it, so I let it go.

The Marvelous Mr. Misanthrope will care.

He'll grab your words and beat you soundly about the head and shoulders with his interpretation of 'em.
And when you try and defend yourself, Pow! Here comes the gaslight.

actually I would care

Trying to start an argument Shaun? :)
Actually I started to write something in defense of curmudgeons, but it’s late. Maybe tomorrow.

My Grandma gave me this gift as a young kid. She was a truly great woman.
"Lord grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And the Wisdom to know the difference."

Helps make letting things go a lot easier.

I often write long winded responses to things when I get worked up. Re reading it and re writing 4 or 5 times till im ready to send it. By then I realize its rediculous and doesnt matter so I delete the whole thing and move on. Lately I save the blood pressure just skip the writing part and move on. More people should do this. You have to remember most people that are sitting on their computer late at night are most likely inebriated to some extent

♪♪ Let it go, let it go ♪♪

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Its hard for me to just exit a debate - but the older I get, the easier it is...

As Hate Radio and Hate News will have you believe you are supposed to be angry and p.o.-ed at everybody ALL THE TIME!

guess what? Being nice is free, really, it is, it costs NOTHING to be nice....it works.
The story of the cashier is heart-wrenching what we've come to as a society. This thread should be put over on PARF to get those guys to calm down a bit. Thanks for writing it Les. Good point.

One day... Many moons ago... (about three months ago I guess) I decided to not be grumpy or worry about ANYTHING for the whole day. Sure it's important to worry, but I'll worry tomorrow instead.

It was rather interesting. To borrow a term from the '70s I was giving off good vibes. I had strangers smiling and saying hello. I even had some flirts from females half my age. It was an unusual day.

I'm generally a live and let live/let it go sort of person. But I also have my boundaries where I let rip if they are crossed. But it was an interesting day.

Speak for yourthelf, sir!

I'm with you on this one Les! The name calling and grudge matches seem to have picked up a lot of steam on this forum over the last few years... or maybe I'm just getting old. Either way life is too short.

Over my time in this life I have determined that all of my resentment/bitterness had its' roots in ego. So, whenever I feel that heat rising I examine the situation as coolly as possible. If I'm able to reduce the situation to ego I just let it go.

It took a long time to get here but it's very easy for me now and it saves a lot of energy.

I learned of this several years ago and it stuck with me:

Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters by Portia Nelson

"Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
I.
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I still don't see it. I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
It isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there, I still fall in.
It's habit. It's my fault. I know where I am.
I get out immediately.
IV.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V.
I walk down a different street.



I am a believer in Chapter 5 - When I get stuck, I find different street

When am I not? :D

It is the political system which has devolved into 2 extremes over the years. Nothing positive gets done and nobody can discuss anything. I've realized over the last several years as a moderate R I have no seat at the table any longer and just ignore it. In the words of Lucas Nelson, I turned off the TV and planted a garden. Well, not a garden, but I putter on my cars or walk the dog more and ignore social media other than the Porsche 914 and 356 groups on FB.

My Grandpa always told me: Get a lot while you are young!


someday you may want to build a house on it

I dont post anywhere near like I used to on here. For one I'm not around a computer like I used to be. Secondly this place has been going downhill more and more. Some on here have been getting more ornery and nasty . I dont get it? Even the most innocent of threads turns into a bulls##&t pissing match. Some of you ALWAYS have to be right, no matter what the subject is. For some reason, every topic turns into a political issue. Why?? :confused:

You have a few obvious trolls that are allowed to continue without a ban. I know the mods have enough to worry about, but dump these idiots and move on.
One of the problems, here and on other forums, is the "keyboard tough guy syndrome". I'm sure most of the big mouths on here wouldn't say what they say on here, to someones face. We have one guy on here that constantly bashes and makes fun of a certain type of motorcyclist. If he was ever to voice his opinion to one of them in real life, he would end up in the ER with his jaw wired.

Iv'e met a lot of fellow Pelicans on here in the real world. All are great guys. Even the ones I may disagree with politically and on other stuff. It means nothing to me. you are a good person, that's all I care about.

As I'm getting older, (56 now..). I'm finding less tolerence for arguments. I have more important crap in life to worry about. I have tons of hobbies and interests. I want to enjoy life. Not stew over crap constantly. For what? what am I going to gain?

So yeah I let a ton of stuff go.


.

1. I believe 100% this statement is correct

2. A lot of people here are so invested in their stance that they no longer consider the opposing viewpoint.

3. This division is making the USA ungovernable.

4. It's also detrimental to PPOT.

If there was ever a wolf in sheep's clothing topic- covid is it.
Important outcomes, having to make very important political, health, and public policy decisions with limited data make it an immediate posterchild of dissent in an ongoing bar brawl that travels from one thread to the next. Literally, and figuratively, people have skin in the game.

I followed the threads here about a year / year and a half ago in the great mask debates of the spring of 2020. From time to time I click on them, and quite honestly, I couldn't even tell you which posters are on which side any more. From what I can see, it's a disagreement waiting for a thread to happen in.

Medicine and science are not political in most places around the world....and yet it's something that is argued about endlessly here.

When the ‘science’ is contradictory, of course it becomes political.

I don't think that's the norm outside of the USA. Maybe some others can chime in. Science is supposed to be fact based. But in the US facts have been turned into more politics...

I do know that anyone around me who politicizes their choices does so on the basis of American politics.

As you get older, "In 50 years neither you nor I will care about this. " becomes "In 50 minutes neither you nor I will care about this. "

In 50 minutes I will probably not even remember this!

My favorite is: when you’re in a hole…stop digging.

I think it started with the "fake news" thing.
People can fight over anything no matter the facts (or non facts).
It's not just here. I see it on all forums.
Such a shame to see people divided over BS.

I have a simple rule: Don’t put anything in writing that isn’t factual or polite. Best to be both factual and polite, but at least one or the other or don’t write it.

I erase a lot of emails and posts after proof reading them and most importantly before sending or posting.

I wouldn’t be surprised if over half the people in prison are there because they lost control of their emotions.

I must be a lot older than you...

5 minutes tops... if that long.

....and I like to start drinkin' early in the day too!

Helps me understand those late night posts from the west coast :D

Life would be less interesting if we just hung out with friends and people we agree with. We need a few a-holes around for our friends and people we agree with to make fun of.

I stayed a night under a tarp on the side of a highway in Indian Himalayas. My innkeeper was a 70 year old Tibetan lady. At about 5am the Indian tourists started barging in demanding snowsuits. I’d never seen such behavior, treated her like… I mean who flicks a 1/4 full paper cup of hot tea at someone you’ve just paid money to?

In evening it was even worse because the tourists were tired and cranky. I wanted to kick their asses I was so mad but host handled it all with serenity. Walking Buddha or something. I was so mad. She’s done it season after season, says it’s unpleasant but not really harmful to her, it’s a living.

I talked to one of these awful people, of course excellent English and very well spoken, college in the USA. he said oh these people are terrible, lying thieves, we must protect ourselves.

I let a lot of insults slide but seeing her done wrong was very difficult to watch.