Funny church story

pwd72s · 02:14 PM

One of Cindy's uncles is a minister. Every Monday he emails a sort of family newsletter.
Usually very boring stuff...but today he had Cindy roaring with laughter. A wedding he officiated. I'm modifying names to protect the guilty, but here goes:

"After the wedding, we were in the fellowship from for the wedding reception. I had just walked into the room and the cake table was at the other end of the room. Mrs. ***** had her hair in a bouffant that was held up with a lot of spray. She bent over to fix a plate and her hair went into a candle. It caught on fire. I yelled, “Mrs. Grandy, your hair is on fire! Your hair is on fire!” He husband was right there but hadn’t seen it. When he heard me, he ran across the room away from his wife, and grabbed his camera. He then ran back and started taking pictures of his wife with her hair flaming up into the air. One of the women smartly grabbed a wet towel and put it out. No real harm done. However I went to Mr. ***** and asked, “When you learned your wife’s hair was on fire, why didn’t you put it out? You just ran to get your camera.” He said, “Now tell me Reverend. How many times do you get a picture with your wife’s hair on fire like that? I had to get a picture.”

oldE · 09-13-2021, 02:12 PM

I suspect Cindy 's uncle will shortly be officiating at the funeral for Mr.***** who died suddenly after being run over several times in a terrible accident while his wife was at the wheel.

Best
Les

HobieMarty · 09-13-2021, 02:14 PM

Hahaha, he was a believer in "if there isn't a picture, it never happened"!!!

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

masraum · 09-13-2021, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pwd72s

One of Cindy's uncles is a minister. Every Monday he emails a sort of family newsletter.
Usually very boring stuff...but today he had Cindy roaring with laughter. A wedding he officiated. I'm modifying names to protect the guilty, but here goes:

"After the wedding, we were in the fellowship from for the wedding reception. I had just walked into the room and the cake table was at the other end of the room. Mrs. ***** had her hair in a bouffant that was held up with a lot of spray. She bent over to fix a plate and her hair went into a candle. It caught on fire. I yelled, “Mrs. *****, your hair is on fire! Your hair is on fire!” He husband was right there but hadn’t seen it. When he heard me, he ran across the room away from his wife, and grabbed his camera. He then ran back and started taking pictures of his wife with her hair flaming up into the air. One of the women smartly grabbed a wet towel and put it out. No real harm done. However I went to Mr. ***** and asked, “When you learned your wife’s hair was on fire, why didn’t you put it out? You just ran to get your camera.” He said, “Now tell me Reverend. How many times do you get a picture with your wife’s hair on fire like that? I had to get a picture.”

Sadly, I don't see that marriage being permanent. I can tell you that must have stunk to high heaven (no pun intended). I worked at a bar, and a girl at the bar with curly hair leaned across a candle to say something to another girl. Her hair turned into a fireball. Because it was dark (and then really bright) they got her hair out quickly. She came up to the bar shortly after and you couldn't tell that her hair had even been on fire. But the whole bar smelled like burned hair for quite a while after that.

pwd72s · 09-13-2021, 04:36 PM

I should have been more clear...the hair on fire lady was the mother of the bride.

LEAKYSEALS951 · 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pwd72s

I should have been more clear...the hair on fire lady was the mother of the bride.

Ah... the older parents!

After all those years, I'm surprised he (assuming he is the older husband- not the groom) didn't reply- "No worries reverend, where she's going, she needs to get used to it!"

(I bet they have a great relationship btw-seriously)

A930Rocket · 06:07 PM

When I was little, we were using a candle on the kitchen table to make shadows on the wall. Stupid me, leaned back too far one time and caught my hair on fire. I did not realize it until my brother and sister told me. It’s amazing how bad hair smells when it’s on fire.

Zeke · 09-13-2021, 05:55 PM

I don't see/feel any humor is this story. Pathetic.

I guess that's where we've arrived.

LEAKYSEALS951 · 09-14-2021, 03:20 AM

I'm going to assume had the lady been injured, the minister and the op would present the story in a more serious light "A terrible thing happened" The husband's antics would probably not be mentioned if she ended up in a burn unit.

The minister would not tell the story in a newsletter had it been serious.

As someone who might have accidently lit their own hair on fire on college... and assuming not much more was hurt than the woman's pride (since the story was told with the word funny in the title)- I wanna know:

Had the family wedding photos already been taken?

drcoastline · 09-14-2021, 03:42 AM

Someone was sending a message, that woman has no business in a church.

LEAKYSEALS951 · 09-14-2021, 04:15 AM

Reminds me of a story of a neighborhood where I lived.
My best friend/and his wife's next store neighbor was an old African American Baptist preacher. Completely good neighbor, cool dude, and a genuine great guy. He'd have large festive parties, where, at the end of the evening, it was tradition for all the guest to smash the plates (real porcelain plates, not disposable) against the outside brick fireplace after good homefried eating. Fun times for all.

Other than being thoroughly convinced that my friend's wife and I were having an affair (we weren't), I remember one night after some drinking and plate smashing, there was some frisky dancing. They were all "doin' the butt" and such, including the preacher and his wife (they were pretty wild-instigating all this). When my friend's wife jokingly did some poledancing with the yard's flagpole, the preacher burst out laughing- "Honey, there ain't no poles in heaven"

I still laugh 20 years later. Good times.

masraum · 09-14-2021, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pwd72s

I should have been more clear...the hair on fire lady was the mother of the bride.

Thank goodness. I was a little confused trying to imagine a current bride having her hair in a bouffant.

masraum · 09-14-2021, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeke

I don't see/feel any humor is this story. Pathetic.

I guess that's where we've arrived.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pwd72s

One of the women smartly grabbed a wet towel and put it out. No real harm done.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LEAKYSEALS951

I'm going to assume had the lady been injured, the minister and the op would present the story in a more serious light "A terrible thing happened" The husband's antics would probably not be mentioned if she ended up in a burn unit.

Yep, that was in the original post.

And I'm sure it was just like the similar instance that I personally witnessed where the hair was a huge fireball, but less than 5 mins later, not only was the young lady NOT injured, but you couldn't tell that her hair had ever been on fire.

I believe the reason for this is because of the nature of hair (kind of like the fact that you can burn steel wool because it's so fine).

red-beard · red-beard's Garage

In the middle 1990's, my middle sister and my parents were visiting my oldest sister for Christmas. I think she had recently had grandchild #1. My middle sister was using a video camera to tape the gifts and things. At some point off-camera is this Terrible Scream. My sister dropped the camera and ran towards the sound.

A minute or so later she came and said: "Mom set (middle sister) on fire. But she's OK now."

flipper35 · flipper35's Garage

My uncle is a pastor and sometimes at family get togethers we make up games. One day we were seeing who could spin a penny the longest and then sang the name of the winner's name. One try my uncle whipped his hands a little too far and punched my wife in the nose on accident. So far this is all normal stuff for our family, so here is the good part.

We were at a wedding for an associate pastor that was from my uncles church and my uncle was officiating. After the wedding the groom said "So this is your uncle?" I said "Yep, the only person that ever punched my wife in the face." My uncle then started laughing and said "Oh yeah, I forgot about that!" My wife just rolled her eyes and shrugged while the groom had this look of total horror that the pastor that he grew up with would punch a woman.

Rusty Heap · Rusty Heap's Garage

masraum · 09-14-2021, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flipper35

My uncle is a pastor and sometimes at family get togethers we make up games. One day we were seeing who could spin a penny the longest and then sang the name of the winner's name. One try my uncle whipped his hands a little too far and punched my wife in the nose on accident. So far this is all normal stuff for our family, so here is the good part.

We were at a wedding for an associate pastor that was from my uncles church and my uncle was officiating. After the wedding the groom said "So this is your uncle?" I said "Yep, the only person that ever punched my wife in the face." My uncle then started laughing and said "Oh yeah, I forgot about that!" My wife just rolled her eyes and shrugged while the groom had this look of total horror that the pastor that he grew up with would punch a woman.

LOL. That's hilarious.