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-   -   Bah Humbug! Anyone else not feeling Xmas this year? (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/1131530-bah-humbug-anyone-else-not-feeling-xmas-year.html)

fastfredracing 12-20-2022 03:57 PM
Well, what I did not share with you guys, is that I lost my wife August 15th. Im so numb, I can barely feel the loss of my bud .
Im trying to muddle my way through the holidays and give my two boys a decent x mas, but Im dead inside .
Ive cried, no not cried, fking wept daily for 6 months now. I did not know a human could hold so much sadness and still somehow function .
I made it past our anniversary Sept 17th, and figure if I can get past the holidays and into spring , I should be o.k
10 feet tall and bulletproof.

HobieMarty 12-20-2022 04:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seahawk (Post 11875055)
I am not qualified to give advice, but I do have a suggestion: Be as proud of yourself for writing the above as I am of you for writing it.

Courage is in the words we need to write, RM. You just did.

PM if you need anything.
Very well said, and RM everything will be okay.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

berettafan 12-20-2022 04:21 PM
Damn Fred sorry to hear that. My mother in law went through a very tough time when her husband passed some years back. I think she truly believed she was a non-entity without him. Had no idea how to live her new independent life and wasn't trying to figure it out. It took some time and a bit of a push (if you get to the beach in Md one day hit me up and i'll tell you the story over a 6 pack) but she is now happy, busy and very important to a lot of people including her elderly neighbors, my kids, my dogs and my wife.

I think it just takes time.

varmint 12-20-2022 04:31 PM
Feeling depressed after the death of a wife is normal. I can’t stress that enough. It is normal

Baz 12-20-2022 05:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bob deluke (Post 11876482)
---snip---This holiday is gonna suck big time. I do wish everyone here a Merry Christmas.
Sorry to hear of all the crap you and yours are dealing with, Bob. Best wishes for a better 2023!

Baz 12-20-2022 05:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fastfredracing (Post 11877366)
Well, what I did not share with you guys---snip---
Sorry to hear this sad news, Fred.

She wouldn't want you to be sad. She'd want you to get on with your life.

BTW, if you decided to take that drive into the river, please let me know - I'll be your co-pilot! SmileWavy

masraum 12-20-2022 05:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fastfredracing (Post 11877366)
Well, what I did not share with you guys, is that I lost my wife August 15th. Im so numb, I can barely feel the loss of my bud .
Im trying to muddle my way through the holidays and give my two boys a decent x mas, but Im dead inside .
Ive cried, no not cried, fking wept daily for 6 months now. I did not know a human could hold so much sadness and still somehow function .
I made it past our anniversary Sept 17th, and figure if I can get past the holidays and into spring , I should be o.k
10 feet tall and bulletproof.
I'm so sorry, Fred. My deepest condolences.

Racerbvd 12-20-2022 06:17 PM
The fact that we just lost a great member, makes the holiday much less.

HobieMarty 12-20-2022 06:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fastfredracing (Post 11877366)
Well, what I did not share with you guys, is that I lost my wife August 15th. Im so numb, I can barely feel the loss of my bud .
Im trying to muddle my way through the holidays and give my two boys a decent x mas, but Im dead inside .
Ive cried, no not cried, fking wept daily for 6 months now. I did not know a human could hold so much sadness and still somehow function .
I made it past our anniversary Sept 17th, and figure if I can get past the holidays and into spring , I should be o.k
10 feet tall and bulletproof.
I am so sorry for your loss Fred and I understand what you are going through, I lost my Dad and my Brother-in-law 2 days apart last February and, well, it's been tough. Hang in there, I wish you well Sir. Time heals all wounds, or at least that's what they say anyway.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

flatbutt 12-20-2022 08:10 PM
Damn Fred. Such a loss is a gut punch. It's hard to balance your need against the needs of your boys but finding that balance may be the way through for the three of you. I hope you guys find a path to peace.

WPOZZZ 12-24-2022 07:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fastfredracing (Post 11877366)
Well, what I did not share with you guys, is that I lost my wife August 15th. Im so numb, I can barely feel the loss of my bud .
Im trying to muddle my way through the holidays and give my two boys a decent x mas, but Im dead inside .
Ive cried, no not cried, fking wept daily for 6 months now. I did not know a human could hold so much sadness and still somehow function .
I made it past our anniversary Sept 17th, and figure if I can get past the holidays and into spring , I should be o.k
10 feet tall and bulletproof.
Sorry for your loss, Fred. I know what you are going through and people tell you time heals. However, it is a few days short of a year since I lost my sister, and I still feel it everyday. My last convo with her was on Xmas day in the hospital and she was in good spirits. She didn't feel like opening her presents because she was tired. She ate a nice Xmas lunch and that was the last time I spoke to her, and her last meal. A few days later, she was gone.

Perhaps, all of us who are going through a loss, can get some solace by getting it off our chest in this thread.

Best wishes to all.

wdfifteen 12-24-2022 07:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fastfredracing (Post 11877366)
Well, what I did not share with you guys, ...
Damn Fred. I had no idea. I knew your wife was ill but - I am so sorry. Feeling kinda stunned by the news. I have no words of wisdom for you, I can only wish you well. God bless you.

wdfifteen 12-24-2022 07:44 PM
Every year I say I hate Christmas.
Every year Vicki drives herself into a tizzy decorating and cleaning so the house is perfect. I drive myself mad planning and cooking the food. Every year we say to each other, "This is the last time."
But then the day comes. And I am reminded of how much I love the people in our family.
Tonight, they have all gone home, and it was all worth it. We had a great time, lots of love, lots of laughing, and a few tears. I wouldn't trade it for the world. And I'll do it again next year, even though I'll say I won't.

rfuerst911sc 12-25-2022 12:57 AM
Fred so sorry for your loss . Try to be strong for your boys , you need them as much as they need you . The Pelican family is here if you need us .

KFC911 12-25-2022 03:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fastfredracing (Post 11877366)
Well, what I did not share with you guys, is that I lost my wife August 15th. Im so numb, I can barely feel the loss of my bud .
Im trying to muddle my way through the holidays and give my two boys a decent x mas, but Im dead inside .
Ive cried, no not cried, fking wept daily for 6 months now. I did not know a human could hold so much sadness and still somehow function .
I made it past our anniversary Sept 17th, and figure if I can get past the holidays and into spring , I should be o.k
10 feet tall and bulletproof.
Wow ... I don't know how I missed this and had no idea. My thoughts will be with Fred today and in days to come .... with much sadness. You will get through this .... some way and some how, and may you and your boys find some semblance of peace brother.

Yeah .... this Christmas is really gonna suck....

Be well Fred.

flatbutt 12-25-2022 05:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by craigster59 (Post 11874769)
Just got home from the "Company Christmas Party". It was at a nice restaurant in Old Pasadena. Great food (I had the braised lamb shank) and Wife had the Salmon.

You know, I'm very blessed. But there were times things weren't so great. I remember those times and have tried to make things better for others. I used to help in gathering together some dry goods (Pasta meals, rice, cereals, etc) cleaning and laundry supplies along with some jigsaw puzzles and games for the kids.

We'd put everything in a laundry hamper and give it to the families and the gratitude that they would feel was something I will never forget. Always stays with me as some of my favorite memories of Christmas.

It's time to start again. Times are always tough. Find someone who needs a bit of a "Leg Up". My family did at one time. It will bring back that Christmas Spirit and fill your heart.
https://www.lasagnaloveportal.org/

herr_oberst 12-25-2022 05:44 AM
Merry Christmas everybody.

Fred, I have no words other than I'm thinking of you and your family today. Merry Christmas my friend and may light and life find their way back to you.

astrochex 12-25-2022 06:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fastfredracing (Post 11877366)
Well, what I did not share with you guys, is that I lost my wife August 15th. Im so numb, I can barely feel the loss of my bud .
Im trying to muddle my way through the holidays and give my two boys a decent x mas, but Im dead inside .
Ive cried, no not cried, fking wept daily for 6 months now. I did not know a human could hold so much sadness and still somehow function .
I made it past our anniversary Sept 17th, and figure if I can get past the holidays and into spring , I should be o.k
10 feet tall and bulletproof.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, Fred. No-one is closer than your wife. Its ok to cry. I can somewhat relate given my father died on Nov 16. I covet the remembrance of good times and try to minimize those things I think I should have done when he was still around. My mother having dementia is not helping.

Enjoy the time with your kids. You understand how precious time is.


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