As hard as parenting is, it’s hard when it’s over, too.

[gsxrken]

My 23 y/o son left for Nashville yesterday. His 2011 Mustang was packed to the headliner with his possessions and looking at his things just gutted me as I realized this child really is leaving us. He’s joining the Nashville Metro PD, a 14 hour drive from our home in metro NY, so getting together won’t be a frequent thing going forward.

This son was the one that was always interested in whatever I was doing, whether that was in the garage, on the house, playing guitar or golf… he would always jump in, without being asked. He was not only free labor, he was my sidekick. I have other children and love them dearly in different ways and for other reasons, but this one had become my wingman over the last few years. He's a good man, and I taught him what I could. But that chapter is over now.

It’s been 24 hours and I already was about to ask him if he wants to run up to the auto parts store with me. I know I'm not the first to go through this, but this is going to be a tough adjustment.

[oldE]

Ya done good.
From experience I can tell you the hours of his visits will pass all too quickly but you will hold memories of him dear in your heart.
Welcome to long distance fatherhood.

Best
Les

[Cdnone1]

You never really stop parenting, teaching or worrying. It just changes

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by oldE

Ya done good.

Exactly. My son and daughter and me are extremely close, as they are with their Mother. We miss them everyday but never intrude, which is, in my mind, the hard part.

Originally Posted by Cdnone1

You never really stop parenting, teaching or worrying. It just changes

Again, exactly.

We have moved into the advise and consent mode.

[flatbutt]

True that we never stop parenting, but it becomes more of an advisory position. Our job is to set them up so that they can walk away and be independent. He's not leaving you he's doing what you taught him to do and I guaran freakin tee that he's taking you with him.

[gsxrken]

Thanks so far, gentlemen. There's something about this board's demographic that I feel more comfortable sharing than in other settings in my life.
Here is the source of the turmoil...

[KFC911]

Well done! He will make you proud(er) than you already are !

[Crowbob]

Originally Posted by oldE

Ya done good.
From experience I can tell you the hours of his visits will pass all too quickly but you will hold memories of him dear in your heart.
Welcome to long distance fatherhood.

Best
Les

At least the separation is voluntary. Mine wasn’t. My grandkids are right now a little older than my kids were when they ‘left’.

He’s got a cute girlfriend, too.

[Baz]

Pretty good tribute, Ken. You have much to proud of, sir. Thanks for sharing with us - good stuff!

[cstreit]

I feel those days coming. My first will be off to college next year. The second is 2 years behind. Gonna be a bit gutting for me and Mrs. S I'm sure.

[LWJ]

I get it. Only one left at home and she wants to live at the other end of the continent. There will be tears if that happens. Mine.

[Scott Douglas]

Funny, I was going thru old pictures on my computer yesterday and saw one of my daughter washing her car in the driveway and our mini van was parked in it with my son's stuff going into it for his move to school way back when. Come to think of it he's never been a resident here since then.
I'm glad I got garage time with him when he was here. Now I get to watch from afar as he raises his twin boys (and daughter) and makes his own memories with them.
Yeah I miss him a lot. Miss my daughter too but feel a lot better now that she is back in the US of A after living in Japan for a handful of years and three kids.
Life goes on for this grandpa.
Yours will too, just might not be quite the same for a while.

[upsscott]

My wife and I were just talking about this yesterday on our 28th wedding anniversary. Our boys are now both grown and in their own living productive lives. I'm happy and proud but a little sad as well. Now it's time to be Grandparents.

Sent from my SM-F721U using Tapatalk

[HardDrive]

Well, we kinda cheated. Our daughter (only child) went off to college, she is now a sophomore....at Ohio State.....2 miles away. I will admit, I have passed up job opportunities to stay close.

[DavidI]

Originally Posted by gsxrken

My 23 y/o son left for Nashville yesterday. His 2011 Mustang was packed to the headliner with his possessions and looking at his things just gutted me as I realized this child really is leaving us. He’s joining the Nashville Metro PD, a 14 hour drive from our home in metro NY, so getting together won’t be a frequent thing going forward.

This son was the one that was always interested in whatever I was doing, whether that was in the garage, on the house, playing guitar or golf… he would always jump in, without being asked. He was not only free labor, he was my sidekick. I have other children and love them dearly in different ways and for other reasons, but this one had become my wingman over the last few years. He's a good man, and I taught him what I could. But that chapter is over now.

It’s been 24 hours and I already was about to ask him if he wants to run up to the auto parts store with me. I know I'm not the first to go through this, but this is going to be a tough adjustment.

You are a very successful man Ken! Congrats on raising wonderful young adults.

[cstreit]

Man you guys are making me sad.

Did I spend enough time with my kids? Did I teach them everything I could?

We're close to finding out.

[Norm K]

My daughter earned two master's degrees and heads up the special needs department of a large school district, my oldest son is a highly decorated Marine combat veteran and earned his masters, son number two is also a Marine combat veteran and an engineer, and my youngest (by a dozen years) is quickly making a name for himself in his chosen field, music.

I often can't help but think that they've all done so well in spite of me.

Oh, and has been noted here before - parenting never, ever, ever ends.

_

[jcommin]

Originally Posted by cstreit

Man you guys are making me sad.

Did I spend enough time with my kids? Did I teach them everything I could?

We're close to finding out.

Chris, you will be surprised as to how much they learned. I hear this all of the time: "Dad, I watched you, so I know how to do this". This shocked me because I never thought they paid attention, but they did in their own way.

[GH85Carrera]

Ya don good raising a good man.

My parents gave me a hug as I got in my car to drive 900 miles away when I left home. My mom converted my room to her sewing room the next weekend.

It has to be hard to see your child go off on their own, and all you can do is hope they do well in life. He is close enough to go visit on a regular basis.

[911 Rod]

He left as your child, but will return as a man.
Ya, it was hard. Especially because I was a single parent.