Has anyone used Palliative Care for an elderly parent?

[Baz]

I will be adding this thread to the Elderly Parent Care master thread.

The Behavioral nurse for Mom's home health company sent me some info on it today and I wanted to see if anyone else has gone through this.

Mom does not have a life- ending medical condition right now. But is feeling a little pain here and there and her mobility has dropped off quite a bit.

Luckily she has me and a really good caregiver to help out - but I'm also looking at this as an option.

The overall objective here is to alleviate pain for Mom.

Any thoughts would be appreciated......

[Seahawk]

I had never heard the term before but, after some really basic searches, I wish we had had more insight into Palliative Care when my father and step father in law were ailing.

https://www.ninr.nih.gov/newsandinformation/what-is-palliative-care

Nothing else to add other than my best wishes to your lovely Mother...and you

[PorscheGAL]

Disclaimer: Every state is different and every company is different.

Palliative Care and Hospice can be very big business. Some companies will not have your mom's best interest at heart. I know you and I know you won't let the wrong people near your mother.

When it comes to pain management, pay close attention to how much medication they are giving her and if your mother has controlled pain meds, make sure none are disappearing. There is a risk of someone skimming meds off the top or giving too much. Just be aware.

All that said: Most of the nurses and medical assistants who do that job typically have a passion for it. They must because they are being paid 25% lower than they would anywhere else.

Good luck.

[serene911]

Hey Baz, A younger brother of mine passed away about 10 years ago. He was terminal with
only a few weeks to live. This was in the hospital. The palliative doctor in this case was great.
Tha purpose of palliative care is by definition to provide specialized medical care for people
living with a serious illness such as cancer or heart failure. Patients in palliative care may receive
medical care for there symptoms or palliative care which is focused on providing relief from
symptoms and stress from the illness. The goal is to provide quality of life for both the patient
anf family members. It should act as a liason between the patient and family answering concerns
and questions. In my case the the Drs. concern and explanation of things was a great help and
helped to alleviate related issues. They should be there to answer questions and put both the
patient and family in as much comfort as possible. There are difference's between hospice and
palliative care.

[wdfifteen]

Best wishes for you and Hour mom Baz.
My wife and I each have notarized Health Care Directives and a clause in our Health Care Power of Attorney documents describing the situations in which we want each other to direct treatment or palliative care.
We both had parents who did not have such directives. It wasn't bad for my dad, who had dementia and had no idea who he was or I was but was physically healthy for an 86 year old until his heart quit.
My wife's father had dementia and some other neurological issue that kept him in a vegetative state for years - 10 or so. With no directive from him no one could do anything but keep him breathing until his body couldn't anymore. At some point he was in a crisis and the hospital asked my wife what they should do. She Had been appointed his guardian by that point and she said let him go. Since there was no directive from him and no clear law regarding the privileges of a guardian, she ended up in a lawsuit from distant half-siblings about letting their dear father whom they hadn't seen in a decade die.

If I am ever in that state I want the damn plug pulled, and I have health care directive and a health care power of attorney C/O my wife to make it happen. She has the same.

If you don't have an end of life directive and HCPOA you need one now for the sake of your family.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

I had never heard the term before but, after some really basic searches, I wish we had had more insight into Palliative Care when my father and step father in law were ailing.

https://www.ninr.nih.gov/newsandinformation/what-is-palliative-care

Nothing else to add other than my best wishes to your lovely Mother...and you

TY, Paul.....it's a continuous learning curve, like many things we deal with as we go through life.

I will give Mom a big hug for you when I see her tomorrow!

[Baz]

Originally Posted by PorscheGAL

Disclaimer: Every state is different and every company is different.

Palliative Care and Hospice can be very big business. Some companies will not have your mom's best interest at heart. I know you and I know you won't let the wrong people near your mother.

When it comes to pain management, pay close attention to how much medication they are giving her and if your mother has controlled pain meds, make sure none are disappearing. There is a risk of someone skimming meds off the top or giving too much. Just be aware.

All that said: Most of the nurses and medical assistants who do that job typically have a passion for it. They must because they are being paid 25% lower than they would anywhere else.

Good luck.

TY Stephanie - good to know. I/we will keep an eye on things and appreciate the head's up.

The caregiver we have is very dedicated and has quite a bit of experience, which helps. We are lucky to have her. BTW, I got her name from Mom's podiatrist's office manager. I had asked them if they knew anyone - it never hurts to ask when you are at any facility where the elderly get treatment. You just never know and it costs nothing to ask!

Mom gets a hug from you as well!

[Baz]

Originally Posted by serene911

Hey Baz, A younger brother of mine passed away about 10 years ago. He was terminal with
only a few weeks to live. This was in the hospital. The palliative doctor in this case was great.
Tha purpose of palliative care is by definition to provide specialized medical care for people
living with a serious illness such as cancer or heart failure. Patients in palliative care may receive
medical care for there symptoms or palliative care which is focused on providing relief from
symptoms and stress from the illness. The goal is to provide quality of life for both the patient
anf family members. It should act as a liason between the patient and family answering concerns
and questions. In my case the the Drs. concern and explanation of things was a great help and
helped to alleviate related issues. They should be there to answer questions and put both the
patient and family in as much comfort as possible. There are difference's between hospice and
palliative care.

TY Serene - appreciate the info and sorry about your brother.

Yes....there is definitely a difference between the two and our behavioral nurse spent a little time explaining things to me as well as sending me a fact sheet. Next step will be having a representative meet with us and Mom and give us their take on things.

I will update the thread once that happens.

Mom gets a hug from you as well!

[Baz]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

Best wishes for you and your mom Baz.
My wife and I each have notarized Health Care Directives and a clause in our Health Care Power of Attorney documents describing the situations in which we want each other to direct treatment or palliative care.
We both had parents who did not have such directives. It wasn't bad for my dad, who had dementia and had no idea who he was or I was but was physically healthy for an 86 year old until his heart quit.
My wife's father had dementia and some other neurological issue that kept him in a vegetative state for years - 10 or so. With no directive from him no one could do anything but keep him breathing until his body couldn't anymore. At some point he was in a crisis and the hospital asked my wife what they should do. She Had been appointed his guardian by that point and she said let him go. Since there was no directive from him and no clear law regarding the privileges of a guardian, she ended up in a lawsuit from distant half-siblings about letting their dear father whom they hadn't seen in a decade die.

If I am ever in that state I want the damn plug pulled, and I have health care directive and a health care power of attorney C/O my wife to make it happen. She has the same.

If you don't have an end of life directive and HCPOA you need one now for the sake of your family.

TY Patrick for sharing these stories with all of us as I know it helps put things into perspective. I'm sorry for the pain your family and your wife's went through along with your father and hers.

I feel the same way you do and I know Mom does too so we will have the needed documents prepared for sure.

Mom doesn't currently have a terminal illness, so I'm not ready to give on her just yet. OTOH - I know she is ready to join my Dad and the rest of her loved ones when the time comes so she will agree to what is in her best interest that way.

One more big hug for Mom tomorrow...thank you my brother.....

[JavaBrewer]

I had a thread here about my Dad and how we all we’re facing similar circumstances to what you are going through. Bottom line it totally blows but we all will be facing that situation either for family or personally. There is a well established network of “caregivers and facilities” who are mainly there to suck the family dry financially. Agree with others already posted to monitor the situation closely and spend time with family. In my case I had a fantastic doctor in local hospital who took me aside and explained that if we had my majorly brain gone Dad transported back to the hospital they would be obligated to keep him “alive” . We moved him to a skilled nursing home and they followed my dads documented wishes to let him pass with no life saving measures. I cried for days when that directive followed its conclusion but was also thankful that staff recognized the situation and accommodated some grace to my Dad.

[recycled sixtie]

Hey Baz, I can give you my thoughts re palliative. My wife's brother has just moved to a palliative complex from a regular adjacent room. He is 78. He has a low level form of bone cancer. He started falling so he is now in the palliative section. I believe medical personnel have access to him now. My wife and I are not that close to him as what he does does not make much sense to us. His children barely seem him and his alienated wife is already fighting over their will! But that is something else.

[svandamme]

Question bit odd to me.. Palliative care, at least here simply means that there is no more treating whatever ailment the patient has.
Its decided that either there is no more effective treatment, or the patient opted not to undergo said treatement.


And thats all it means, basic support, focus on pain management and the knowledge there will be no CPR done if the patient goes out.

Most hospitals here have specialized wing for Palliative care, because they provide other visiting options and services that they don't do in the general ward.
- possibility for partner to sleep in
- 24/7 visitation to wake for a dying patient
- Different schedule from normal hospital , food when ever, not based on doctor/treatment schedules
- volunteers to keep dying patients company if they have no family

Basically very much aimed at reducing the suffering physical / mental and Supporting the family
Smooth things out as much as possible...

Some will be going to Palliative and be dead in a week.. some will actually spend months there.. It really depends on the person and condition and how it all progresses.There is no deadline to it. No pun intended, palliative will take as long as it takes.

[Baz]

Thanks again for the additional replies and input.

I went over earlier and spent some time with Mom and gave her quite a few kisses and hugs from the Pelican brain trust - and she thanks all of you for your love and assistance.

While there I put the TV on TCM and they were airing "Adam's Rib" and I know Mom enjoyed seeing Hepburn and Tracy again. She's not a great channel surfer like me so I'm glad it worked out.

Headed back over soon to help her with dinner, etc.

Will update the thread as appropriate as we move ahead......thank you again!

[wdfifteen]

We're praying for you Baz. Wishing you all the best at this difficult time of life.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

We're praying for you Baz. Wishing you all the best at this difficult time of life.

Thank you, Patrick!

As you said in your Owen Walter thread - this forum makes all the difference in the world when facing life obstacles. Without you and the rest of the gang here - it would make an already difficult situation much more so.

[Baz]

Couple photos of Mom......

Couple days after her 100th birthday last month, the pastor and his wife (also a pastor) came by to give her communion:




Yesterday enjoying her fav. soup.....broccoli cheddar!


And this morning with her house keeper, who comes every 2 weeks and is WONDERFUL!


I spoke to the Palliative care rep this morning and they are going to have someone get in touch to set up an appointment. Will keep the thread updated....thanks again for all the kind words!