Washing dishes by hand

[T77911S]

It aggravates my girlfriend when I wash a dish and rinse it and put it in the rack

She likes to wash them all and stack them in the other sink and then rinse them.

I told her why handle each dish multiple times. If I have it my hand just wash and rinse.

Now it’s just become something to pick on her about.

But now curious of how others do it.

She also does not like it when i help her by rinsing them as she washes them.
She says I can be doing something else.
I tell her we get them done faster and then can move on to something else.
Also we don’t get a lot of time together so I like to help her.

[masraum]

Depends upon the volume of dishes and type of dishes. Just a few dishes, I may wash them, then rinse them. more dishes or dishes of various sizes/types, I may do individual dishes are small groups.

[A930Rocket]

If not using the dishwasher, we wash, rinse and put them on the towel. Then one of us dries and put them away.

Speak in washing dishes, do you clean yours before you put them in the dishwasher? I guess it’s a habit I learned from my parents.

That, and I’ve gone to some peoples homes, where it looks like an experiment in the dishwasher, with food all over the plates, etc. Ewww…

[FPB111]

Does she put the new filter on before she drains the oil or after she drains it?
Mine comes out, crawls under the car and starts draining the oil while I'm working on top replacing the filter. I find that damn irritating.

Sometimes I just "nudge" her in the ribs with my toe to let her know she's poaching on my territory.

[Zeke]

When learning to save water I tend to wash all then rinse all because the faucet is not running during the washing. The 2 of us are using 50 gallons per day in the cold and rainy days. That even surprised me.

[stevej37]

Her way will save more water...and be faster.

[quicksix]

I hand wash, using her method, stacked by size so I can pick them up and hold the vertically.
Rinse 4 or 5 at a time.
Silverware goes in a colander and gets rinsed en mass.

[wdfifteen]

My wife washes dishes like the OP and I wash them like the girlfriend.

That could be because I am the one who writes the check for the water bill and the one who replaces all the sink faucet cartridges when they wear out.

[Arizona_928]

Assembly line argument.

Don't you know you already lost with the gf on this one!?

[VINMAN]

I wash, rinse, rack, repeat. Wife does the same, although I'm usually the one doing the dish washing.

.

[flatbutt]

I live alone so I do what I want which is eat out of the pan. Then I hand wash it, rinse it,rack it.

[Tobra]

I wash then, rinse and rack unless I am doing a bunch of dishes, where I wash them all then rinse them all. Sounds to me like you should stay the hell out of the kitchen when she is in there

[jcommin]

Single, empty nester here. No dishwasher. although I have one. I stack in the sink, wash, rinse and drain on a rack. Admittedly, I don't use allot of dishes.

I agree with Toby and AZ, you don't win and stay out of the kitchen doing dishes.

[jyl]

I usually do it like the girlfriend. I have a tub in the sink full of hot soapy water and I dunk dishes in there, then scrub, then rack on the other sink, and finally rinse them all at once. I don't do this to save water (I'm rather profligate with water actually) but because it feels more streamlined.

[HobieMarty]

Just be glad she wants to wash the dishes by hand!!! I would politely ask her if she needed any help washing the dishes and if she says no, then leave her to it, it's her thing.
We wash dishes here with a dish washer and yes, we rinse them off before placing them into the machine. We do have select items such as some skillets and pots that we wash by hand so, those are individually washed, rinsed and put on a drying rack.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

[wdfifteen]

If I hand wash a glass after I get a drink of milk or something my wife takes it out of the drying rack and puts it in the dishwasher. She wants everything but pots and pans and plastic storage containers to go through the 140 degree water.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by T77911S

She also does not like it when i help her by rinsing them as she washes them.
She says I can be doing something else.
I tell her we get them done faster.....

I understand this.

My wife will "help" me in a similar way with dishes, and other tasks.

It actually stresses me out.

If I have a kitchen with dishes in the sink, on the Island, on the stove I have a mental inventory of what's where.

As I'm washing I'm going through that inventory, basically I have "a plan" and order of execution in mind. Executing that plan gives me a sense of accomplishment, it's goal oriented.

When people start stacking stuff up for me it's frustrating as I may not have planned to deal with that pot / pan / serving tray until the end.

It's also easier and in my mind faster to turn around and grab a singular item off the island or stove than it is to deal with pulling something from a stack.

It's similar to when you are out to eat and you think you are doing the server / busser a favor by stacking and arranging empty plates. It's actually often not appreciated because you break their flow in the back of house.

And I also understand the "you can be doing something else".

Two people doing the dishes does not get it done in half the time, not even close.

You don't think you are, and maybe you actually are not, but you are getting in her way either physically or psychologicly.

For me when I get into a groove on a repetitive task the time passes much faster if my focus is not interrupted. I go on auto pilot and don't have to think about what I'm doing. Having someone help breaks that auto pilot and even if the task does not take longer it "feels" like it does. It's about how we perceive passage of time.

For me. if there are two tasks to do I feel less progress is being made if two people work on one together vs each person tackling a task individually.

She is giving you a pass on the chore and expressing how you can help her, which is by not helping her.

Don't question it, if you really want to help her, don't, she won't get angry, trust me.

Oh, and this,

Originally Posted by T77911S

Also we don’t get a lot of time together so I like to help her.

That time you do get to spend with her is a better quality if she is not stressed or frustrated and if she is anything like me you are stressing her out.

[john70t]

I wet them down on the left counter,
rinse and sponge in left sink,
stack in right,
rinse everything when water is hot, the water off one is pre-rinse for the others,
set on edge on right counter to air dry. Works good.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

I understand this.

My wife will "help" me in a similar way with dishes, and other tasks.

It actually stresses me out.

Oh man, does that ever strike nerve. I had something to say about something similar a couple of years ago.
Yes, stresses me out!

People who like to paint

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by T77911S

It aggravates my girlfriend when I wash a dish and rinse it and put it in the rack

She likes to wash them all and stack them in the other sink and then rinse them.

I told her why handle each dish multiple times. If I have it my hand just wash and rinse.

Never answered this part, I'm with you, wash / rinse / stack.

Another thing I remind my wife of when she does stuff like that, "you can tell me what to do, or how to do it, but never both'.