I Love my Wife, But...

[Jeff Higgins]

...I really miss my boys as "garage help".

Today's escapade is somewhat illustrative. It was time to change all three oil supplies on my Harley Road King. I can do the engine and tranny by myself, but filling the primary drive chain and clutch cases require the bike be held upright. That was all she had to do.

Done properly, she should feel no weight whatsoever, and I told her that. She was on the right side, holding it vertical, while I was adding oil through the clutch cover as prescribed. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, she and the bike fell over towards her side. Right where the 911 is parked...

God bless her. She sacrificed her body for the greater good, placing it between the bike and the 911. Of course she was now trapped, and I had to lift the bike off of her. In the schlamazzle, she managed to kick the drain pan that was still under the bike over, spilling the drained engine, tranny, and primary oil. That made it even more fun for her to regain her feet and steady the bike which, if left to lean over on the kickstand, would have spilled most of the primary oil I had just added.

Well, somehow, we got it sorted. Oil all over the garage floor, oily shoes, oily rear tire, etc. There was no way I could get mad at her. We just got the primary full, cleaned up the oil, and laughed at our misfortune.

But I do miss having two sons around to help...

[Crowbob]

Sometimes you do what you gotta do: ask the lady for help.

The first red flag was that it involved a chain saw.

It had a happy ending but man, was it close.

[porsche930dude]

Im sure nobody is shocked that a woman isnt the best of help. I learned the hard way to never store a bike near a car. I had a bike in a 2 car garage in the middle between my 911 and my dads 58 impala. I bumped into it with something so it rolled forward enought to folt the kickstand and it fell over and completely tacod the impala door. Luckily It wasnt my car lol the trim didnt get bent it just poped out of the clips luckily. I pulled the door panel off and popped it out without much damage but there is still a bit of a wrinkle and cracked paint along the bottom but it could have been worse. Its not the first time I tacod one of his doors. In high school he had a 88 suburban with crappy tires I took a bend too quick and plowed a mailbox also perfectly tacod the drivers door. At my friends house we pulled the panel and popped the dent before anyone found out. He didnt see the kink till like a week before we sold the truck. No I didnt fix the mailbox either. Bad boy

[sc_rufctr]

You're wife is definitely a keeper!

[rwest]

You just came up with a good reason o buy a motorcycle lift.

[Jeff Higgins]

Oh, I have a motorcycle lift. It gets used more for 911 engine drops than anything else (I've even made a special cradle for it for that purpose). This was one of those "it'll only take a minute" moments where I didn't want to hassle with putting the bike up on it. It's way easier to drain if it's not on it, and easier to fill the engine and tranny oil. I think from now on, though, in the absence of my boys, it might be worth it just to fill the primary. Fortunately, that's only every 10,000 miles.

[gsxrken]

You have a great wife if she laughed about that! But your point about the boys rings true here too. My oldest was home for block leave over Christmas and I asked him if he was up to helping me with changing the front wheel bearings cartridges on my Ram 1500. He said sure, let’s do it. I’ve been putting it off- just a ***** job… old rusty bolts, sledge hammers, pullers, cave-man suspension sort of work. We banged them both out in under 4 hours. It was remarkable. If he was still around I could more than halve the time to do anything.
My lovely wife has to be deployed very strategically and within very limited parameters in the garage. Even brake bleeding can go south if I’m not oh so nice.

[Jeff Higgins]

Don't even get me started on brake bleeding...

One of the worst was asking her to ride along while I was collecting data on A/F ratios with my LM-1. I had a route, with carefully sought out "test sections" that I wanted to record. It was her job to simply hit the "record" button.

She missed my que every single time.

"Record."

"What? " As she was going on about our grand daughters (who I love dearly), or something else completely unrelated to the task at hand.

My sons, by way of contrast, just sit there silently, awaiting instructions. Focused on the task. Completely different creatures.

[Bill Douglas]

She did better than me.

My XR400R fell over and dented the Porsche in two places. When people ask I say it got hit by a motorbike. I don't admit to it being my klutzy mistake.

[911boost]

Oh my, I’m sorry but that made me chuckle Jeff.

Related to this, anyone know of a NOS right side fairing for 900SS? As my teenage son dropped mine moving it to get the mower out. I just shook my head.

[Noah930]

Funny and relatable post, Jeff. A lot of us have BTDT, too. Which is why I have a Pit Bull.

Originally Posted by 911boost

Related to this, anyone know of a NOS right side fairing for 900SS? As my teenage son dropped mine moving it to get the mower out. I just shook my head.

Maybe 10 years ago I bought the last NOS left-sided fairing from Ducati. As in, they had to fetch it from the warehouse in Italy. And then it was for the '98 model, which had a slightly different fairing. I'd imagine all the right-sided fairings are NLA. But there is a guy on eBay from somewhere in the Bay Area who seems to have a lot of NOS available at reasonable prices. I bought a new left-sided 600SS fairing from him for under two hundred bucks. It's the same except for the 600SS/900SS logo, for which you can buy a decal and repaint if so desired. Still less than the $1000 Ducati used to charge for a new one.

[Baz]

Motorcycles can be quite heavy (as most of us know) and once they reach a certain tippage angle....hoo boy!

Glad no one was injured - including the machinery, Jeff.

[rwest]

You could always use the Baz method of insuring that your bike can’t fall over by just having so many bikes that it’s impossible for one to tip over!

Sorry Baz, couldn’t resist!

[911boost]

Awesome thanks Noah!
It’s only a small ding but it’s there. I’ll have to search for him.
Mines a ‘96

End hijack, sorry Jeff

[otto_kretschmer]

I park the bike against a wall but I'm a bachelor so I have to get clever.

[LWJ]

You laughed about it. That says a TON right there. Congrats!

One of the reasons I sold my 930 was I just knew one of my kids would drop something big on it and mess it all up. And then I wouldn't be the Dad I wanted to be.

There are things and there are people. Priorities are important.

[KFC911]

^^^ I prolly would have missed having my kids around

[Rot 911]

I’ll start off by saying my wife is a hard worker and great at helping out around the house, but she has no spatial awareness. For example, I could ask her to help me carry a table across the room. But when we get to a doorway, it would never enter her mind to turn the table on its side to get through the doorway.

[john70t]

Originally Posted by Crowbob

It had a happy ending but man, was it close. Did you mean the shower after?

That's a keeper fer sure. No injuries or damage is a job well done.
(Plus she ain't gonna complain about the brand new stand that arrives next week. You sly devil. Good move.)

Butler moto maps:https://www.pelicanparts.com/More_Info/BUTWASHG1.htm?pn=BUT-WASH-G1&bc=c

[Jeff Higgins]

Originally Posted by Rot 911

I’ll start off by saying my wife is a hard worker and great at helping out around the house, but she has no spatial awareness. For example, I could ask her to help me carry a table across the room. But when we get to a doorway, it would never enter her mind to turn the table on its side to get through the doorway.