Microsoft vs. General Motors

[cegerer]

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the Computer industry with the auto industry and
stated:

"If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got
1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2) Every time they repainted the lines in the road you would
have to buy a new car.

3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close
all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the
windows before you could continue. For some reason you would accept this.

4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which
case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5) Only one person at a time could use the car unless you
bought "CarNT", but then you would have to buy more seats.

6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would
only run on five percent of the roads.

7) The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights
would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning
light.

8) New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.

9) The airbag system would ask "are you sure?" before deploying.

10) Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11) GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe
set of Rand McNally road maps (Now a GM subsidiary) even though
they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the cars performance to diminish by 50%
or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

12) Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have
to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car.

13) You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn off the
engine.

[cegerer]

Things to Remember During the Working Day

1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it
by killing all those who opposed them.

2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you
probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job
WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a
scapegoat.

7. Plagiarism saves time.

8. If at first you don't succeed, try management.

9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

10. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.

11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large
groups.

13. We waste time so you don't have to.

14. Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

15. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent
slacker.

16. A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

17. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

18. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

19. Succeed in spite of management.

20. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

[emwporsche]

the second post was kind of cynacastic.
the first post is old.
interesting though.