New name needed for the United Nations.

[island911]

The first name was "League of Nations." This name was abandoned after this group was ineffective in stopping Hitler and his mass killings.
Now we have the "United Nations" not enforcing action agianst another mass killer.

So what will the next name be? We've got to have a name. . .how about; "Allied World", "Together for a while", "A Group Hug" ? Maybe an acronym; Big Armies Resisting Konflict (BARK) . . .This is going to be tough!

[tabs]

Hitler didn't start the mass killings until 1941, as if thats any consolation to the ones he did murder. The league was dead before that.

How about Gutless Bunch of Wimps......... Or we could just call it France.....

[Bill Douglas]

Yup, France is synonymous with gutless bunch of wimps, that would be fine.

[stray15]

hahaha

[WOODPIE]

FAT INEFFECTUAL BASTARDS

[tabs]

NO NO thats NATO's name........

[tabs]

Thats the problem with Democracy...sooner or later they just can't make up their minds as what to do......Thats why we need a King or a Dictator to get things done...... So lets make Bush King, then we all can call him George II.

[Dantilla]

"We're totally irrelevant, but we still get to watch ourselves on the 6 o'clock news"

[944S Boyeee]

Illuminati

944S Boyeee

[ELLSSUU]

How about we call them BROKE after the U.S. pulls out of it and stops financing their shenanigans!

[hoff944]

THE COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE



Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of
French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who
inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are
victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages
toget invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied.

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War -Lost,
but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their
first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by
a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of
Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to
the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish,
Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history,surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese
ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

[pwd72s]

hoff944? I'm LOL here...and only because you speak the truth...

[tabs]

Yeah and the French think Jerry Lewis is a genius....

The only French triumph of arms that I can think of was by a Norman by the name of William the Conquerer.....1066.....Battle of Hastings where he kicked the English's a$$es under the Saxon king Harold.

You also forgot another little misadventure the French had and that was in Mexico in the 1860's....where they were defeated by the Mexicans.

[RANDY P]

Originally posted by hoff944
THE COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE

ROFLMAO!

that's the funniest thing I've read in a long time!

rjp

[island911]

This thread got started back when Powel made the point that the UN needs to show it’s validity and usefulness.

Since the French haven't done enough, they are now trying to use the UN to keep any American or British involvement in the running of postwar Iraq to a minimum.

The big irony of this situation, is in that the only reason France has veto power (in the UN) is because they’re considered to be one of the "victorious nations.” How’s that for funny? I suppose after British and American forces saved the French butts, they decided to give them a pity prize.
Imagine the conversation;
US/Brit’s: Hello, we just came though hell at Normandy, to liberate you the French.

French: Why yes, thank you for your effort, but you see, we were just finishing chasing the Germans out on our own.

US/Brit’s: Well I can see you are a proud people . . .uhm. . yeeah . . YOU did kick those Germans out.
In fact, just to make it official, we will bestow on you the title “victorious nation” . . .it's for this new club we’re forming.

I always hated those “everybody is a winner / everybody gets a prize” events.

[WOODPIE]

I say again: Fat Ineffectual Bastards.

In the early days of Saturday Night Live, one bit they put together was a test, to evaluate your potential to be a diplomat. Sort of a "Draw this picture, you could be an artist!" type of thing. I can only paraphrase from what I remember:

Are You Diplomat Material?
Take This Easy Test


You are at a state dinner function. The chairperson from the great island nation of Kefallinia insults your country's citizens and its leader. Do you:

a. Turn heel and leave
b. Remove your glove and slap him with it
c. Ignore the remark, and politely ask him to pass
the sweet and sour shrimp

The answer, of course is c. ...pass the sweet and sour shrimp.

Reminds me of another diplomatic example. Richard Nixon opened diplomatic talks when he went to Red China, a bold move back in those days. During his stay, special dishes were created in his honor, one of which the chef named for his country's special guest. Sweet and Sour Dick.




Ed

[tabs]

I liked it when George the 1st threw up in the Japanese Prime Ministers lap at dinner...something musta disagreed with ole GW the 1st.....

[bell]

Useless
Negotiators

works for me

[island911]

John Mclaughlin (Mclaughlin Group) just predicted the UN will become less about security and more about relief aid.
That sounds about right.

For Iraq, though; right now there are hundreds of millions of dollars in Iraqs "food for oil" program. And guess what? . . .it's all in a French bank!

Currently, the US is sending food aid (300+ million dollars worth) to Iraq. And guess what? . . .the French are refusing to release any of the Iraqi aid money sitting in their bank.

Isn't that nice.

[island911]

I hope the US disbands the UN, if for no other reasn than to give the French back the dignity they deserve. . . .. That being "non-victorious nation" status.