Best Simpsons Quotes.

[Jared at Pelican Parts]

Seeing as how im a Simpsons freak, I figured id see what other quotes crack yuo guys up..

Here's mine

"Can I hold my gun sideways, Cheif?, It looks so cool.."

"You tired and you failed, the lesson is, never try"

"Im an adult male ages 18 to 60, everyone listens to me.."

"Save me Jeebus!"

"In fact,
in Rand McNally, they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people"

[chibone_914]

MMmmmm......Doonutt.

[cstreit]

"Bart... You don't HAVE to think. That's what we pay TAXES for."

[Tim Walsh]

"It goes against all my religion and morals but OK"

[vash]

mmmmm....bacon.

[adrian jaye]

"I'm afraid if we dont get the money by the end of the week were going to have to take your house" bank manager

"Well I'm going to take the numbers off so you cant find it" homer

[adrian jaye]

homer to bart

"dont worry son I bet Einstein turned himself all kinds of colourse before he invented electricty"

[adrian jaye]

"simpson, homer simpson,
he's the greatest guy in history,
from the town of springfeild he's about to hit a chestnut tree"

[adrian jaye]

dear God in closing
I offer this cookie and milk to you,
if you you agree say nothing and I will eat the cookie
....pause
thy will be done

[Jared at Pelican Parts]

Insurance Agent: Now, before I give you the check, one more question. This place "Moe's" you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?

Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar. Gasp! But what else is open at night?

Homer : It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

Homer's Brain: Heh heh heh. I woulda never thought of that.

[adrian jaye]

marge "well can you just wear that jacket tonighte"

homer "mister plough, they call me mister plough.. that name again is mister plough"

[adrian jaye]

so you do what now ?

why you.. I .....

DOH !

It wasnt me boss it was like that when I found it

marge, wheres my pants ?

[Jared at Pelican Parts]

Scientists realize Homer has a crayon lodged in his brain....

Scientist: We could perform a surgery and remove the crayon from your brain. It could vastly increase your brain power. Or it could possibly kill you.


Homer: Hmm... Increase my killing power, eh?

[adrian jaye]

come here son, I'll teach you how to shave

first you do this, then get that little bit here, now dont worry about the blood put the little piecese of tissue paper on your skin, the blood will hold it on.

then you put on some aftershave

aaaaaaaaaaahhhh , ooooowww oh oh oh, why you sonofa... DOH
argghhhha

[tchanson]

(1) "To Alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

(2) "I believe in a land where the rivers all run with beer and doughnuts rain down from the sky. I'm pretty sure it's somewhere in Europe."

Tim

[adrian jaye]

welcome my son what 3 questions would you like to ask me...

"do you really own the kwik-e-mart?"
yes
"I mean you really own all of the kiwk-e-mart?"
yes
"what you ?"
yes

thank you come again !

[adrian jaye]

when I get hold of you I'm going to stick sausages down your throat and starving dogs up ya butt !

[adrian jaye]

lisa "can you find the addres of the real malibu stacy ?"
smithers "yes, let me just boot up my computer"

Hello...Smithers...you...are ...really...good...at...turning...me...on
(wallpaper of nude burns)

"errmm, you didnt see that" smithers

[adrian jaye]

Bart, women are like,...like..
women are like a nice beer, they look nice, they taste good
.
.
but you cant stop at just one, you want more and more and more, and you'd step over your own mother to get one

[adrian jaye]

marge "I've made you your favorite dinner, all 3 courses and they are all desesert"

homer "what even desert" !