Random snippets of Great Knowledge --thread - Page 11

oldE · 03-05-2007, 09:06 AM

"Beware the Jabberwock, my Son
The claws that clutch, the jaws that bite!"

L Carroll

RANDY P · RANDY P's Garage

"Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die..." - Chad In the Company of Men

rjp

M.D. Holloway · 03-05-2007, 09:48 AM

"Dad, just let her live life!"

Our 8yr old Son trying to convince me to buy a Schwinn StingRay bike for his 4 yr old lil Sister...

pookie · 03-05-2007, 12:20 PM

Pain heals....chicks dig scars....glory last forever.

--sadly Keanu Reeves in "The Replacements"

pookie · 03-05-2007, 12:23 PM

And my ass has a "one way" sign on it. That goes for tubes, enema bags, sex toys, fingers, penises and anything else imaginable.

I really wonder what prompts people to wonder this kind of stuff. . . It's barely 9:30 here and someone's asking me "how's your hole" already. . . Sheesh.

--Porsce-O-Phile (about three threads down with the colon)

sand_man · 03-05-2007, 12:52 PM

"...Lotta people go through life doing things badly. Racing's important to men who do it well. When you're racing, it's life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting...."
-Michael Delaney (AKA, Steve McQueen), Le Mans

onlycafe · 03-05-2007, 03:37 PM

"dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope".......
freewheelin' frank

Joeaksa · 03-05-2007, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pookie
And my ass has a "one way" sign on it. That goes for tubes, enema bags, sex toys, fingers, penises and anything else imaginable.

I really wonder what prompts people to wonder this kind of stuff. . . It's barely 9:30 here and someone's asking me "how's your hole" already. . . Sheesh.

--Porsce-O-Phile (about three threads down with the colon)

Just wait until a 45 year old friend of yours dies with cancer from not getting his prostrate checked. Then everyone's view on things like this may change. Sure it did for his wife and two children... Talk about being short-sided and stupid at the same time, at least my friend was just unaware of the issues.

Brian Cameron · 03-05-2007, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by onlycafe
"men that love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made" .........???
it will come to me, probably at three o'clock in the morning.

Otto von Bismarck

onlycafe · 03-05-2007, 04:33 PM

give that man three silver dollars.

thanks brian.

FrayAdjacent911 · 03-05-2007, 04:55 PM

The existence of the flamethrower is proof that somewhere, someone once said 'I want to set those people over there on fire, but I don't want to have to walk over there to do it.'

onlycafe · 03-05-2007, 05:33 PM

"Simplicate, then add lightness."
colin chapman

Tim Hancock · 03-05-2007, 05:35 PM

Pain is only temporary, but pride is forever.

It is time for me to stop being afraid and others to start.

Second place is the first loser.

If you aren't cheating, you aren't winning.

Live life taste death.

A few favorites from back in the motocross racing days.

onlycafe · 03-05-2007, 05:38 PM

"remember, you are alone in the kitchen."
julia child

"never piss off the cook."
me

FrayAdjacent911 · 03-05-2007, 06:09 PM

Posted on another forum by a very wise man (or wise guy?)

Item 1: Do not listen to what women have to say about women. They are not privy to the keen powers of self-instropection, nor are they honest when the mirror paints the picture of womanhood in a less-than-flattering light. If women were to be trusted about how they tick, we'd all have it figured out, and women would be happy. Society is afraid of saying what I am, that women have been led to believe they are a noble half of the human race, and more suited to matters of the heart. Fact is, they're just as clueless as you. Next.

Item 2: Women are 95% a product of the relationship (or lack thereof) between they and their fathers. Men are made by their mothers, women by their dads. If daddy beat them, left them, or otherwise was a ****bag, you had better believe they will not have healthy impulses and chaos will follow them throughout their days. This is an absolute, so trust me when I say, if they don't have a healthy relationship with pops, they're not having one with you either, so ****ing run. Yes, they're going to be fun in the sackeroo, but trust me....run. That other 5% of their nature comes from lucky genetics, but you're not turning that into anything by yourself. You ain't fixing a broken girl, so just run.

Item 3: To attract women, you need but one thing....to be in charge. Not necessarily of the world or the building you work in, but in charge of your surroundings. You need to be in charge of whatever setting you and the womenz will be in. In any herd of animals, the females obey the alpha. You must be, no matter what the situation, the "guy". You might need to be the funny guy, or the cool guy, or the host, or the entertainer, or even the "taken" one, but you had better be the center of attention that day. To be this thing, you need some confidence, you need your **** in order, and you need some sort of talent that will put you in the alpha spot - no matter if that's at the library or at the night club. Women do not fawn at the slowest, weakest gazelle. They look at what's running out front, and follow. Get your life in order. Women are not laying in the tub right now letting the water hit the pink parts dreaming about a gun nut who's playing Rainbow Six in his mom's basement. You follow? This leads me to item 4.

Item 4: Women, real women, do not want a boy. They want a man, so be one. Don't get dickhead haircuts, tribal tats, spinners for your ghey car, the latest trendy clothes or skin care products. These are the tools of vain boys, and a woman does not want these things from you even if she acts like she does. You may get some dates, you may get laid, you may even get married by being a boy.....but bet your ass that your woman will dream of a man (which is not you).

Item 5: Women, contrary to some legends, do not want sex that often...especially once the relationship cools off (normalizes). If they do crave the weenie all the time, they are messed up (see item ..1). Women do not have testesterone pumping through their organs, and will not crave sex, at least not like you think they do. Get used to it, deal with it, and make your peace with the fact that a normal woman wants sex about 1/10th as much as you. Sadly, the sexaholic women are usually reliving some sort of childhood trauma, and sex gives them control over their neuroses about that past. See, women have sex for very different reasons than we do. They have it to feel sexy, to feel loved, to feel wanted, even to feel in charge....but they don't have that physical drive like us. We, by contrast, have sex to purge the evil venom from our balls, and that's about the extent of it.

Item 6: There is nothing a woman can sniff out like desperation. If you have even one tiny cell of creepy in you, she'll smell it all over you like a possum carcus in the sun. One of the lessons of adulthood is ****ING RELAX. Do it, for all our sakes. Don't chase women, for there is no need. Be a man, be yourself, have a good time and get your life in order, and the women will forever come to you. Believe this fellas.....nothing could be truer. If young swingset would have only known this.... but that's another story and it involves copious masturbation and alot of Boone's Farm.

Item 7: Women, contrary to another urban legend, are ****bags too. They will have you convinced, if you talk to them enough, that they are the masters of reason and emotion. Bull****, fellas. They are contriving, maniacal masters of chaos and work feverishly against their own happiness sometimes. Nothing will disturb a woman so deeply to her core as true contentment. Some women shudder at the thought of a placid, pleasing life. It's a very rare thing, a woman at peace and comfortable with herself....so when you find one, say "I do" and keep her away from other women. Wanna see proof of this? Work along side alot of women. When one finds happiness, the others go about dismantling hers with ant-like industry. Nothing on earth is quite so destructive as women screwing with a happy one. It's a pretty safe bet that if your lady friends hang out with other girls, they will try (even unwittingly), to **** you up. Sorry girls, you know this one is true.

Item 8: Get to know your prospective inlaws....even if you have no idea you're going to marry the girl you're banging. If you don't love them like they're your own parents, RUN. Seriously, it's that simple. Run. Look at their relationship - her mother and father's. Look at it hard, because that's you in 25 years....or some variation of it. Your woman will make sure of it, because she's hard wired to.

Item 9: A woman's beauty is her worst enemy, and her only true servant. Be very afraid of a woman who has relied, or counted on her looks to survive or succeed - for when those looks or your attention to them wanes, she will self-destruct before your eyes. You will come home to find her gone, or on top of your best friend. Again, not to drive a point too fine, but stay away from the 10's. A stripper model does not live to enjoy a 50 year wedding anniversary, and she will not change your diapers when you're old. Believe it or not, that stuff really matters. You, like women, are driven by your nature. If you're always attracted to the worst kind of women, it's not their fault bucko. It's yours....so fight your impulses and go with what's smart not what "feels good".

Item 10: Lastly, I leave you with this. It's a difficult lesson to be a man. It's a painful, self-sacrificing labor and part of the human condition to be a man. You must accept that much of your life and your ties to women rely on your honor and your good nature. Sadly, most of us choose our mates based on nothing more than a tiny dab of sexual experience and a lot of ignorance about human nature. The women you meet, fall in love with, screw, and hurt, are all human beings with complex pasts, desires and dreams. Treat each woman, no matter who she is, as if she is your best friend's girl. Give her respect, even if you don't choose to engage her in a meaningful way. Understand that she is a daughter, a sister and someone's baby and if she's not good enough to be kind to, then leave her alone. Your dealings with the chicks will come back to haunt you, and each ****ty act will be revisited on you, or your children, or your future women. Trust me here...it really happens. Be a good man, a smart man and an observant man, and women will not be a source of pain in your life. Take my word on it.

island911 · 03-05-2007, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dan in Pasadena
Funny, I never got that far...it was supposed to be a "snippet"!

+1

onlycafe · 03-05-2007, 07:42 PM

god created man
sam colt made them equal.

ronin · 03-19-2007, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by FrayAdjacent911

Item 9: A woman's beauty is her worst enemy, and her only true servant. Be very afraid of a woman who has relied, or counted on her looks to survive or succeed - for when those looks or your attention to them wanes, she will self-destruct before your eyes. You will come home to find her gone, or on top of your best friend. Again, not to drive a point too fine, but stay away from the 10's. A stripper model does not live to enjoy a 50 year wedding anniversary, and she will not change your diapers when you're old. Believe it or not, that stuff really matters. You, like women, are driven by your nature. If you're always attracted to the worst kind of women, it's not their fault bucko. It's yours....so fight your impulses and go with what's smart not what "feels good".

+1000 (with minor modifications)