program for 2004 democratic national convention
 

OFFICIAL 2004 DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION PROGRAM

6:00pm- Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:30pm- Anti-war rally no. 1.
6:40pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00pm- Tribute theme to France.
7:10pm- Collect offerings for al-Zawahri and al-Sadr defense fund.
7:20pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:25pm- Tribute theme to Spain.
7:45pm- Anti-war rally no. 2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:00pm- John Kerry presents one side of the issues
8:25pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30pm- Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00pm- Gay marriage ceremony.
9:30pm- * Intermission * (Refreshments hosted by Ted Kennedy)
10:00pm- Flag stomping and defacing ceremony
10:15pm- Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:30pm- Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:40pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50pm- Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00pm- Double gay marriage ceremony.
11:15pm- Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:20pm- John Kerry presents the other side of the issues
11:30pm- 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
11:59pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00am - Nomination of Democrat candidate.

I cant take credit for this but i hink its darn funny

Pretty easy stuff...

OFFICIAL 2004 REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION PROGRAM

6:00pm- Opening illegal alien burning ceremony.
6:30pm- Pro-war rally no. 1 featuring the draft dodger men's chorus.
6:40pm- Video of sexual humiliation of detainees #1
7:00pm- Tribute to God.
7:10pm- Collect offerings for Halliburton.
7:20pm- Ken Lay testimonial.
7:25pm- Tribute to God #2.
7:45pm- Pro-war rally no. 2. (guest host, "B1" Bob Dornan)
8:00pm- GW Bush presents God's side of the issues
8:25pm- Rush Limbaugh's oxycontin buffet.
8:30pm- Why the national debt means nothing by Arthur Laffer.
9:00pm- Hymn, "God Hates Fags" by Westboro Baptist choir.
9:30pm- * Intermission * (medications courtesy of Rush Limbaugh)
10:00pm- Flag worshipping and wrapping ceremony
10:15pm- Re-enactment of favorite torture techniques using indigent non-combatants selected at random off the street.
10:30pm- Video appearance by the late Wally George
10:40pm- Tribute to the wit and wisdom of Ronald Reagan.
10:41pm- Pledge of allegiance to the Christian (but not Catholic) God.
11:00pm- Speech: Execute the Liberals by Ann Coulter.
11:15pm- Promisebreaker's workshop.
11:20pm- GW Bush presents his plans for the economic recovery
11:21pm- 'Register unborn voters' pep rally.
11:59pm- Rush Limbaugh's last call for oxycontin.
12:00am - Nomination of Republican candidate.

LMAO! I think we have a potential candidate here for the shortest-lived thread in history

damn. well done techweenie.

Okay, I admit that I am on the conservative side, but I am still able to laugh at good jokes on either side. Given the two jokes above, I have to say that MrPant's is very humorous. Techweenie's seems a little like a lame attempt at countering the first. I did like "Execute the Liberals by Ann Coulter" though.
I don't think techweenie wrote the above statement, but if he did, I meant no offense, I just did not find it as humorous.

Scott, We'll be seeing you at 8:25? :D

Mr. Pants..your version came around a while ago and generated some discussion here already. He was ready for you......

Yes, it took me all of five minutes to write it.

Ann Coulter has indeed suggested executing liberals. I didn't find that funny, either.

And the Westboro Baptist Church can be found at www.godhatesfags.com

oops.
my apologies