program for 2004 democratic national convention

[MrPants]

OFFICIAL 2004 DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION PROGRAM

6:00pm- Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:30pm- Anti-war rally no. 1.
6:40pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00pm- Tribute theme to France.
7:10pm- Collect offerings for al-Zawahri and al-Sadr defense fund.
7:20pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:25pm- Tribute theme to Spain.
7:45pm- Anti-war rally no. 2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:00pm- John Kerry presents one side of the issues
8:25pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30pm- Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00pm- Gay marriage ceremony.
9:30pm- * Intermission * (Refreshments hosted by Ted Kennedy)
10:00pm- Flag stomping and defacing ceremony
10:15pm- Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:30pm- Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:40pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50pm- Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00pm- Double gay marriage ceremony.
11:15pm- Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:20pm- John Kerry presents the other side of the issues
11:30pm- 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
11:59pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00am - Nomination of Democrat candidate.

I cant take credit for this but i hink its darn funny

[techweenie]

Pretty easy stuff...

OFFICIAL 2004 REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION PROGRAM

6:00pm- Opening illegal alien burning ceremony.
6:30pm- Pro-war rally no. 1 featuring the draft dodger men's chorus.
6:40pm- Video of sexual humiliation of detainees #1
7:00pm- Tribute to God.
7:10pm- Collect offerings for Halliburton.
7:20pm- Ken Lay testimonial.
7:25pm- Tribute to God #2.
7:45pm- Pro-war rally no. 2. (guest host, "B1" Bob Dornan)
8:00pm- GW Bush presents God's side of the issues
8:25pm- Rush Limbaugh's oxycontin buffet.
8:30pm- Why the national debt means nothing by Arthur Laffer.
9:00pm- Hymn, "God Hates Fags" by Westboro Baptist choir.
9:30pm- * Intermission * (medications courtesy of Rush Limbaugh)
10:00pm- Flag worshipping and wrapping ceremony
10:15pm- Re-enactment of favorite torture techniques using indigent non-combatants selected at random off the street.
10:30pm- Video appearance by the late Wally George
10:40pm- Tribute to the wit and wisdom of Ronald Reagan.
10:41pm- Pledge of allegiance to the Christian (but not Catholic) God.
11:00pm- Speech: Execute the Liberals by Ann Coulter.
11:15pm- Promisebreaker's workshop.
11:20pm- GW Bush presents his plans for the economic recovery
11:21pm- 'Register unborn voters' pep rally.
11:59pm- Rush Limbaugh's last call for oxycontin.
12:00am - Nomination of Republican candidate.

[ronin]

LMAO! I think we have a potential candidate here for the shortest-lived thread in history

[MrPants]

damn. well done techweenie.

[Scooter]

Okay, I admit that I am on the conservative side, but I am still able to laugh at good jokes on either side. Given the two jokes above, I have to say that MrPant's is very humorous. Techweenie's seems a little like a lame attempt at countering the first. I did like "Execute the Liberals by Ann Coulter" though.
I don't think techweenie wrote the above statement, but if he did, I meant no offense, I just did not find it as humorous.

[RickM]

Scott, We'll be seeing you at 8:25?

[fintstone]

Mr. Pants..your version came around a while ago and generated some discussion here already. He was ready for you......

[techweenie]

Yes, it took me all of five minutes to write it.

Ann Coulter has indeed suggested executing liberals. I didn't find that funny, either.

And the Westboro Baptist Church can be found at www.godhatesfags.com

[MrPants]

Originally posted by fintstone
Mr. Pants..your version came around a while ago and generated some discussion here already. He was ready for you......

oops.
my apologies