Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.
 

My brother's Las Vegas bachelor party (and other assorted hedonism) took place this past weekend. I of course seized the opportunity to conspire with Tabs in person to take over the world. RGruppe, SCWDP, etc. be warned ... the TabsJPIlluminanti is afoot... and y'all aren't nearly as well armed. Well, maybe Dr. Pate could bring some noise...

Cheers, fellow Pelicans.

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Still more fun was had preparing to put certain of our brethren first against the wall when the Revolution comes:

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That's a Grease gun (full auto). There were also fully automatic Uzis, HK MP5s, Stens, Thompsons, M16A2s and a M249 (FN Minimi or "SAW") involved. The SAW I fired is one of only 9 in civilian hands in all the world. I've got a movie of me firing the SAW (happiness is a belt-fed weapon!!!), which I'd link if I could find a place to host it (or post pix if I was sophisticated enough to do captures to post). The SAW would look great on the hood of the 930 for those left-lane 55 mph jacka$$es.

FYI, they make you hang the silhouette targets upside-down not because they want you to get used to shooting at Kiwis (*coughCamBcough*) or other down-under targets of opportunity, but so when gun "climbs" during fire, you don't take out the target transport cabling or put holes in the ceiling. Like I'm some kind of rookie...

Here's my friend Tami and me at the Bellagio during the watershow (Tami and I were introduced by our Wichita P-head colleague kepperly during my recent visit to KS ... and by the sheerist of coincidence Tami happened to be in Vegas during my visit. Thank you, Keith ...):

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Oh, what you can't see in that photo...

And Tabs' and my new friend Shannon (the barwench at the venue of our conspiracy and a cub member of the LV Chamber of Commerce, evidently):

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Vegas. Baby.

JP

What a country! G_d, guts and guns made America great: Let's keep all three!

That photo of you and Tabs is just gold! :cool:

God almighty.

Just invite Ted Nugent and Dr. Hunter S. Thompson next time, and you'll have the most dangerous group since the Wild Bunch...

Looks like G_d, Guts, Guns AND Girls..... I'm envious.

is that portly guy with the cigar and fish shirt tabs? he is a man of taste apparently....

Thanks guys!
Cramer -- I'm assuming the "guts" part is a stab at the girth. Nice.

Adam -- Thanks, mate, but it may come back to derail my Senate campaign. At least it's only on the Internet, so nobody'll see it.

CJ -- LMAO. Hunter S. Thompson owns an SC? What?

Noah -- the SAW was absolutely incredible, and much lighter and more "pointable" than I thought it would be, though I did not fire it off hand -- only on the bipod.

Of the submachineguns the Grease gun was my favorite -- it just felt right and fired very well. Evidently, even though their production numbers well exceeded Thompsons (they were much cheaper than Thompsons on the order of $105 to about $5 a copy) they're much rarer here in the states b/c most of them saw duty abroad and never came home.

The MP5 was a very slick weapon and felt the best-made of the lot (the Uzi was garbage, but it was built as a disposable weapon). The MP5 didn't want to climb as much as the others (then again some of the others were .45 caliber) and had a unique sound. I'd really have liked to fire an MP5K (or SD!) but they didn't have those. After the Grease gun (which looks like I made it from stuff I found lying around in the garage) the MP5 was my favorite.

Where the Greaser has all kinds of character and was the most idiosyncratic, the MP5 was just ... well, German; precise, efficient and wonderfully crafted w/o the "wooofff*ck that thing is bada$$" reaction you'd have for other weapons designed specifically to look nasty and immediately convey to someone on the business end the impression that things are not going particularly well for them.

The M16's cyclic rate is unreal -- it feels like a steady push under full auto rather than a rapid "thud-thud-thud". 1100 rounds per minute or something insane like that. They had an M4, but that'll have to be next time for me. That and the Schmeisser.

One note about Vegas: when you go, make a point of going up to ghostbar on top of the Palms. It's about 45 stories up (tho' they claim it's on the 55th floor...?) and a part of the outside portion of the bar is cantilevered off the edge of the building. A good part of the cantilevered portion of the floor is plexiglass. Yeah, it's trippy. Only the 2nd time I've ever had any sensation of vertigo. It took me a couple of bourbons to venture out onto the void, to be honest. A couple more and I was jumping up and down on it. Thaaaat's right. Jenius. With a J.

This was especially fun when some petite waif gingerly, slowly and against every instinct in her body inched her terrified, stiletto-heeled hot self out onto the transparent floor, hands trembling in front of her as though she was blind "ohmygodohmygodohmygod" -- and a 6'5" 235# me would then precipitate out of the night sky, "Aaaaiieeeeee!!!!!" doing my best "Hulk-style" landing a foot or so away from her on the glass. BOOM! heh heh heh. Out to pick up chicks I was not, that evening.

Now, if I'd done that to myself on my first time out there, 500 feet over Splatsville, I'd have kicked my own ass. But as it was me doing it to someone else, I entertained the living ***** out of myself. I can't explain it... that's just how it is sometimes.

JP

"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon"

I couldn't have said it better myself. If you ever get the urge to see some real "full-auto fun" venture out to Knob Creek Range (KY) during their (twice annual) machine gun shoot. It's amazing (it's where the other guys with the SAW's hang out) everything from M2s (literally dozens of them) to an original gatling gun to a couple of mini-guns (6000 rounds a minute with tracers at night is *awesome*). They also rent their guns. If you just cant live without ever shooting a quad fifty on a half track mount you can do it here. I splurged and shot an M82 (fifty cal sniper rifle), the brake on that thing flattens everything in a 50 ft radius. Nice.

The "grease gun" is cool, but their popularity lately has driven the price to almost $1000 (in semi) and thats a lot of money for a stamped gun. I do like tha caliber though ;) .

One of the guys I shoot with has a couple of squirt guns and last time out he brought his uzi and suppressed Mac 10. I had a couple hundred rounds I had brought with me and I spent some time with the Mac. It was a good time, we got to see the effectiveness of the 9mm v the .45. No comparison. We were shooting at an old contractors van and the .45 would penetrate both sides of the van (including interior shelving) and the 9 would poke a hole in the first side and drop. Of course the Mac gives new meaning to the concept of "spray and pray". I however use the theory of "place muzzle firmly against target and squeeze trigger. Repeat as necessary".

Pete

Vegas, Baby!

Gotta love it out here in Vegas. Most everything goes, and what happens here, stays here (according to Laura Bush).

Can't wait for California to implode, explode, seceeed, fall off into the sea, or rejoin Mexico by popular vote.

Then Nevada, (State motto is "Battle Born") will be reborn again as Americas' most south-western state.

Easy for you to say !! You live on a freakin BOAT!
(actually I just wanted to say "Hey"! SmileWavy )

JP, whats up with the Michigan FB shirt? Novelty or is there a story?

Jeez, 6'5'' and 235 lbs.?? Remind me not to argue w/ you too vociferously. Sir. ;)

I still love my Beretta 92FS that my wife gave me for Shristmas several years ago. I carried one while I was a medic with the USMC (USN Corpsman) and I really enjoy firing that pistiol!

Oops, I meant "Christmas"! Must learn how to type!!

And I was looking at the PT's shirt......

Pete -
Dang! I've got to get to that (and it's named Knob Creek!). I've handled an M82A1 but never fired one (the Barrett, no?) -- it looks freaking cool and definitely has that malevolent appearance I dig.

Lendaddy -
Univ. of Mich JD 1996 -- nothing more interesting than a lifelong Go Blue infection, as a result, I'm afraid. The only story is that Tami claimed that shirt (my favorite Michigan shirt, naturally) as a trophy. So now, in order to enjoy that shirt, I have to look at the above picture. ;)

Denis -
OK, you're off the "first against the wall" list now. But I'll be watching you... :D

Art -
I figured you meant Festivus. I like the 92FS, but it's got a take-down weakness wherein the gun can be disabled almost instantaneously by a grappler. I've got an HK USP .45, which I love, and a S&W 469 and PPK .380, both of which were my dad's.

Sing -
I didn't realize I was in that photo at first!

Did you recently change your signature block? I didn't remember seeing another Nevadan b/c I definitely would've been in touch about getting together during my visit.

JP;

Nope, have been a Nevadan since '85. I am out your way a lot. In fact, land at Suffolk County Airport next week for one night.

Looks like you had a great time in town. Love to see that. Thanks for helping with my taxes.

Michael.

I'm heading for the shelter now...I'm sure something apocalyptic is going to occur. I'm not sure why...just a feeling.

Dogs and cats...living together...mass hysteria!

when i go to vegas, i am dragging tabs out too.

Heck, I figured Nostatic would've felt a disturbance in The Force once Tabby and I were within 100 miles of one another.

Sing --
McArthur/Islip? That's literally 1/4 mile from my office. Republic is about 15 minutes. Where and what night? Not that your plans can change, but the only night that's bad for me is Friday -- the around Block Island race starts at 5.

PM me with details if you'd like to get together. Wherever it is in Suffolk, it's not too far from where I am. OK, Shinnecock is a bit of a haul, but so what. This'll be great!! 2 Pelicans in a week!

Unfixed --
You won't have to drag too hard. Don't be surprised if Sympathy for the Devil is playing when he picks you up; it was when I got in the truck. :p

Here's one of me with the Sten (the red dot sight wasn't working and so the thing was damned near impossible to aim -- and it stovepiped once).

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JP