Can't Get Those Through Airport Security, Either

jyl · jyl's Garage

I just went through airport security for the first time carrying my fly fishing gear. It was kind of a hoot. The rod tube aroused suspicion, the wading boots too, the fly boxes ditto, and the TSA guy had to go through every single pocket of the fishing vest - and that thing has like 30 pockets.

In the end they confiscated a $5 pocket knife (heck, I don't know what's in the vest pockets either), a box of strike-anywhere matches (didn't know those were prohibited, but makes sense), and - this I don't quite get - a small pair of pliers (that I use to dehook the fish).

Not clear why pliers are prohibited. Guess I could disassemble the airplane in flight?

What items have you had confiscated at airport security, that didn't quite make sense to you?

BlueSkyJaunte · 07-09-2004, 03:20 PM

A buddy of mine who's gay tried to get through wearing one of those 3" diameter c*ckrings. He had to take it off in the men's room with one of the TSA guys watching. He was really embarrassed, but the TSA guy shrugged it off--he'd seen the same thing plenty of times before, apparrently.

dd74 · 07-09-2004, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jyl

In the end they confiscated a $5 pocket knife (heck, I don't know what's in the vest pockets either), a box of strike-anywhere matches (didn't know those were prohibited, but makes sense), and - this I don't quite get - a small pair of pliers (that I use to dehook the fish).

With the knowledge of what Hannibal Lechter can do with a $5 pocket knife, Keanu Reaves do with a pair of pliers, and, I don't know, any number of Southern California pyros do with a pair of strike-anywhere matches, I'm surprised you didn't have the cuffs slapped on you.

Moses · 07-09-2004, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BlueSkyJaunte
A buddy of mine who's gay tried to get through wearing one of those 3" diameter c*ckrings. He had to take it off in the men's room with one of the TSA guys watching. He was really embarrassed, but the TSA guy shrugged it off--he'd seen the same thing plenty of times before, apparrently.

A man who prefers to travel with his package stuffed in a ring has serious "issues".

Reminds me of the guy who stuffed his whole bunch into a wheel bearing then couldn't get it off. He started to swell and panicked. His first thought was to heat the bearing race to get it to expand. Bad idea.

Finally a jewellers saw was used to extricate the man from his dilemma. (Not without significant discomfort.) He, too had "issues."

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

I believe that ER docs see lots if "issues"...

Dantilla · 07-09-2004, 03:41 PM

McNeil Island is a prison here in Puget Sound. I spent 11 months there.

(It's fun to tell people that)

I was on a paint crew during constrution work, and needed my little Emglo air compressor on the island. I was not going to be able to bring it over on the passenger ferry, because the idiot guards were sure that is was a gasoline engine, which is not allowed. There are cooling fins, and the air tank looks like a gas tank.
I had to ask him to show me the gas cap. And why is there an electrical cord? It took a couple minutes, but I finally got it on the boat.

To take it back home, I threw it on the back of a truck that was taking the freight barge off the island.

BlueSkyJaunte · 07-09-2004, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moses
A man who prefers to travel with his package stuffed in a ring has serious "issues".

Not the erection-maintenance type. As I understand it you put the whole trinity thru there, and it doesn't restrict anything. Just clanks when you sit.

Not that I would know from personal experience.

Anyway, the amusing thing about it was he put it on to feel "naughty" after his interview for an associate minister job at some church.

Eric Coffey · 07-09-2004, 05:43 PM

If you read the TSA website "allowed objects" they list cigar cutters as OK to bring, even in carry-on bags. Funny, as it would take about 5 seconds to turn a "cigar cutter" into a (banned) "box cutter".

Moses · 07-09-2004, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BlueSkyJaunte

Anyway, the amusing thing about it was he put it on to feel "naughty" after his interview for an associate minister job at some church.

Yup. Deeply disturbed.

djmcmath · 07-09-2004, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BlueSkyJaunte

Anyway, the amusing thing about it was he put it on to feel "naughty" after his interview for an associate minister job at some church.

Did he get the job?

ZAMIRZ · ZAMIRZ's Garage

My dad had a really nice (and expensive) torch lighter confiscated at Burbank Airport. The funny thing was, we asked them if a regular lighter was alright and they said it's fine, but somehow the torch that doesn't actually emit any flame past the tip of it is a no go. They probably just saw our middle eastern names on the tickets and figured they needed to hassle us for something.

pwd72s · 07-09-2004, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jyl
I just went through airport security for the first time carrying my fly fishing gear. It was kind of a hoot. The rod tube aroused suspicion, the wading boots too, the fly boxes ditto, and the TSA guy had to go through every single pocket of the fishing vest - and that thing has like 30 pockets.

In the end they confiscated a $5 pocket knife (heck, I don't know what's in the vest pockets either), a box of strike-anywhere matches (didn't know those were prohibited, but makes sense), and - this I don't quite get - a small pair of pliers (that I use to dehook the fish).

Not clear why pliers are prohibited. Guess I could disassemble the airplane in flight?

What items have you had confiscated at airport security, that didn't quite make sense to you?

Try being a pool player, headed for the Reno Open. Only to discover that 2 piece pool cues are on the forbidden list. Yup...like fingerrnail clippers. Only a LOT more expensive. It's no wonder the airlines are in financial trouble. Our policians? They, flying, "private", don't worry about things like this. Me? Forget flying. If I can't drive there, I don't want to go. What do the top level players in pool do? They UPS their sticks to the hotel they plan to stay at...Insured. Smarter than trusting safe passage to any airline, for sure. ( A good custom pool cue? Figure $750...for starters.)

ronin · 07-09-2004, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BlueSkyJaunte
Not the erection-maintenance type. As I understand it you put the whole trinity thru there, and it doesn't restrict anything. Just clanks when you sit.

why? for what purpose?? some people are really weird

singpilot · 07-09-2004, 10:03 PM

It alerts the gay flight attendants that there is a chance of getting lucky on this leg.

Can't believe I just said that. But it's true. Some of the stories I hear are beyond belief.

dd74 · 07-09-2004, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ronin
why? for what purpose?? some people are really weird

Hmmm...let a guy from Lost Angels explain it:

There are guys who like to "drive" manual "transmissions," and guys who like to "drive" automatic "transmissions..."

Wait, that's not right:

Try this: if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it...

Nope. That tells you nothing.

"Two popes walk in a bar..."

BlueSkyJaunte · 07-09-2004, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by djmcmath
Did he get the job?

Well, he got a job (no pun intended). He performed the wedding ceremony for another friend of ours last month.

Kinda funny when the priest slow-dances with his boyfriend during the reception.

ronin · 07-10-2004, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dd74
"Two popes walk in a bar..."

...yeah?... yeah? ...aaand?

djmcmath · 07-10-2004, 03:16 PM

Back on topic -- I heard about a gentleman who was once stopped for having a small bag of Gunpower Tea. (http://www.fmltea.com/tea/Gunpowder-tea.htm) It's not gunpowder at all. Isn't explosive. Isn't even particularly more flammable than normal tea, which is to say not at all. Doesn't even really _look_ like gunpowder, if you know what gunpowder looks like. But the bag said "gunpowder" on the side of it, so the security types made him empty it into another bag -- one that didn't say "gunpowder" on it. Aargh.

Dan

Icemaster · Icemaster's Garage

Sounds like a good wedding.

Anyway....

I can't carry on a camera tripod, but the same TSA guard allows a woman with a CF hiking stick (kinda looks like a ski pole...) to waltz right through.

What REALLY makes me nervous is recollecting on the time I sent my laptop case through the scanner with a Leatherman and a #2 phillips head screwdriver in the outside pocket - forgot to put them in the checked stuff. Nothing said. Not one peep. Picked the bag up off the rollers and headed to the gate.

Whatever.

Milu · 07-11-2004, 06:32 AM

Immediately after 9/11 I had to fly on business. I had a nailfile, clippers and disposable razor confiscated from my hand luggage as well as a Leatherman micra from my keyring. I kept a straight face while the young lady searching my bag waved one of these items at me saying "this is a weapon!". She completely missed a couple of other items that were much more weaponlike. I then asked if the glass bottles of dutyfree wines and spirits many passengers had bought and were carrying on board were not also weapons. She replied that people would complain if these were confiscated. It is my opinion that these measures are to give people the impression that security measures have been implemented and that it is safe to fly.