question for you with kids.

[vash]

i was just reading the "knife wielding kid" thread. and i was just discussing with my brother, about his girlfriends spoiled kid.

what ever happened to eating dinner together as a family? i used to HAVE to be there, or starve. dinner was at a set time, and we discussed our school day, or whatever. i dont have kids, but my friends that do, rarely eat together. the kids eat in front of the TV. i seem to think this would fix some of our crazy kid problems, you know having a captive audience, lured by homemade fried chicken....

cliff

[motion]

TV is actually the root of the problem. TV is evil. TV distracts from other, more important and crucial activities. Too much time on the computer falls into the same category... IMHO.

[project935]

Trying to get everyone to eat at the same time at the same table can be a real job at times. Some people are just too lazy to enforce it I guess. I'm all for it.

Also easier to contain the mess with the young who haven't mastered eating utensils yet.

[magilla]

Motion is right. I have a 9 month old, so she hasn't been corrupted, yet. I will actively prevent it from happening! A little TV is good- Discovery, Learning, History, etc. Some comedies/ sicoms are fine, too, but in moderation. 4+ hours perday is too much.

Mandatory 3rd mess formation will also be enforced. I like to know what's going on, and I am happy to tell everyone else what I am doing. If my family won't listen to me ramble, who else will give a crap?

You can blame TV, but it is not the only corruption our kids face. Hopefully I will do as good a job with my daugher as my parents did (or, even better).

[LeeH]

A 1998 study from the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) found that teens from families that eat dinner together regularly were a whopping 31% less likely to abuse drugs. And adolescents from families that never ate dinner together were 72% more likely to engage in substance abuse activities. In another 1994 study, Lou Harris and Associates surveyed 2000 high school seniors, and found that students who ate dinner with their families regularly (4 or more times a week) scored better on a battery of academic tests.

from:
http://www.pittsburghboomers.com/Archive/08Aug03/080308Dinner.htm

[Moses]

I have three kids and a crazy schedule. We share dinner together the old fashioned way, no TV. This is the time your kids share their thoughts and relate stories about the day. This is where kids learn to communicate. They have a captive audience at the table. They learn to tell stories. They make you think, make you laugh. It's irreplaceable.

[JavaBrewer]

Our family dinner time is mandatory. We eat dinner together everyday of the year unless I'm working late or on travel. No TV allowed. Beyond the social benefits it also fosters good eating habits. Our kids are terrific eaters, son is 7 and daughter is 5. Neither has ever had anything from McDs other than fries and a sprite, or a soft serve cone. Wife makes one meal (-edit- no short order cooking for kids) they eat what we eat. Our kids have grown to love broccoli and carrots, though salad is still kinda iffy. Milk and water are their beverage options. If their plates are 100% cleaned then some ice cream or cookies are in order - no exceptions.

Kids like structure in the home, actually they need it. We're no super parents but feel that compared to most of our parent friends are doing a great job on the eating front.

[gchappel]

I agree about the importance of family time. We ate family dinner together ALL the time- you would plan your day around it. All my kids friends called us the leave it to beaver family. When either of the kids had an event, one or both parents were there- every time. As parents we made time for the kids, as kids they were required to make time for the family. We were very lucky as both turned out great- one is presently studying at Oxford/ london and the yournger goes back to Villanova tomorrow, chem/math major, deans list, etc. The tv was almost always on in the family room- my wife uses it as background noise, but we almost never watched it- except for our own version of full contact jeopardy every night. My sister lives 1200 miles away, different environment, but with the same outcome- spend time get great kids. I have really been amazed what old time family values can do for our children.
Try it, it is the best time you will evee spend- even more fun than racing!!
Gary

[juanbenae]

i have no kids but what i feel is the problem with todays kids is what i call "the time out generation". not that beating your kid is excusable but i was spanked my whole life, and i turned out,, well lets let that be for now. lets just say i have a good job, a house and a 911. good enough?

this time out generation is kids that have learned to negociate with parents, play video games all day and if they play outside they end up on a milk carton. it was not the spanking that hurt when i got it in public it was the humiliation of the whole thing. it kept me in line better than a time out would.

[greglepore]

The problem is not just with parents or tv-its with coaches etc that schedule activities at times that make it difficult for a 2 wage household to get home, have dinner and get the kids out to whatever.

I'm old school Italian. Family dinner every night. Some nights its 8:30, but every night.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

I think the loss of a family dinner is one of the biggest tragedies of our "modern" existence. I imagine the situation my wife and I are in is not that atypical - we both routinely put in 9-10 hour days at work and after that plus an hour plus driving home in commuting hell, nobody feels like cooking. I actually like to cook, but there's no way I'm going to walk right in the door and want to roll up my sleeves and make a mess out of the kitchen that has to be cleaned up. She feels the same way. It's much easier to grab something before leaving work or to pick up the phone and order a pizza, or just go out.

For the rare stay-at-home dinner, I absolutely can't stand having a boob tube on. Time with others is so valuable and precious, I don't see why one needs the mind-numbing distraction box droning away trying to sell me tampons or incontinence products or whatever while I'm trying to eat and enjoy a little free time with my significant other. If someone insisted that they let me leave the TV on while having dinner I'd be actually offended, since it means that I'm obviously not important or interesting enough for them. Tivo helps a lot with this issue of getting the "TV time" shoved into my schedule at MY convenience instead of the stations. . . If they could only come up with a Tivo box now that automatically skipped the commercials so I didn't have to manually fast-forward through them, I'd buy it in a heartbeat!

Another thing that bugs me is the fact that I'm trying to live a healthy lifestyle and like to go running in the evenings. Problem is, if you don't get home until 6 or 7 and it takes an hour to unwind, then you eat dinner - you're not going to go run for at least an hour or two after that or you're just going to blow chunks. Also, it's tremendously unhealthy to eat ANYTHING in the late evening (after about 7pm anyway for most people) since the body converts almost all of it to fat. This is another arguement in favor of having a light meal late in the day before leaving work - maybe around 5 or 6, then going home and going for the run at maybe 7 or 8. Far better lifestyle from a health / nutrition standpoint but still not at all helpful in terms of having quality family time at dinner.

Another thing I absolutely can't do is eat in the presence of young babies. Maybe it's a thing with me, but I find it absolutely revolting when a young child is dripping / spitting / drooling that greenish pasty baby-food crap all over the place - their face, clothes, floor, table and generally everywhere other than where it should go. Either that or grabbing fistfuls of pasta or whatever other mucky goop they're being fed and shoving it in the general vicinity of their mouth. Just freakin' gross. I just get literally nauseated by it to the point where I won't be able to eat myself. Maybe I'm insane, dunno.

If we're invited to my relatives or friends (that have kids) I will always politely figure out a way around it or grab something on the way there and then either not order food or just have a drink or something to avoid getting ill, but since this thread is on the subject, why the f*ck can't those with kids teach them to eat properly? If the kids are extremely young, they have a bit of an excuse I suppose, but I don't know why I have to be subjected to such a disgusting display while I'm supposed to be eating. Seriously, our dog used to eat at the same time as us and that never bothered me - at least she knew how to eat cleanly! Babies? Just gross.