Worst Driver Ever: Update

[Schrup]

Here's a link to the original thread on this subject & when it all started. 16 year old's life lesson

Well since March she has managed seven new dents in the car. She hasn't gotten any tickets or had any claims against my insurance. I came out of the house a couple of weeks ago & she was parked half way up the curve, I was so pissed that I took her stereo away from her for the remainder of the year. Then she'll have to prove to me she has learned to park before I'll give it back.

The first one she said she backed into a "log" at her moms


The next two she says she has no idea how they happened. There's a couple more little one's I didn't take pics of.


There's a nice dent in the middle of the door on this one that's hard to see in the pic.

She rearended a gang banger for this one, fortunate for her the car was probable stolen & they just drove off. She insisted that it wasn't her fault. I informed her that it's always your fault if you run into the back of somebody.

This last one I discovered last night, she said she backed into a mail box, must of been a hell of a mail box. She said the spoiler was cracked from her & her dumb ass friends sitting on it.

Here's a pic of my Damsel of Destruction. (she's 16)

[mikester]

WOW!

Don't know what to say - I might be tempted to take the car away from her for a little while and have her ride the bus if that is possible.

[smoak]

You might want to consider putting her in an older beater of a car that is built like a tank. Maybe something like a 77 Pontiac Gran Prix or other land yacht type vehicle. Seems that young girls care less about their cars as young guys. Its just a means to an end for her. Luckily she is safe and sound and that is all you can really ask for. But, your right, she is an awefull driver. Maybe she needs some one on one in a parking lot again.

[RickM]

If it were my daughter I'd pull her driving priviledges until she learned there are consequeces to these incidents. Seems as if she's either uncoordinated (tough time with spacial relationships) or innattentive. Either way these dents are the tip of a much larger iceberg.

Personally I think 16 is too young for many kids to be driving.

Just my 2 cents and I hope this blows over soon.

[84porsche]

Damn that's a lot of damage for a few months of driving ownership. Can you reteach her how to drive? Can she legally drive by herself at 16 without anyone else in the car? I know in California the rules are a little different now than when I got my license. I would also be tempted to take the car away until she paid for the damages. My first accident cost me $466.00 and I had to work for 5 months at minimum wage to fix the other car I hit.

[dd74]

Take the keys or drive with her somewhere, and be hyper critical. Tough love automobile style, you know. Because she might hurt herself or someone else with the next accident.

[djmcmath]

Worst driver ever? Gosh, at first I thought this thread would be about me!

Seriously, I'll throw my concurrence in with the other posters, Paul -- she obviously has no respect for the car. Maybe it's because she hates American cars, or understands the decline and fall of the Mustang because of her extensive study of the history of the Ford v. Chevy battles. More likely, she just doesn't give a rat's petuti. Put the 'Stang in the garage, spend $300 on a '76 Toyota Corolla that runs most of the time, and that you won't be upset about if she mashes into some gang-banger. Once she's figured out where the corners of the car live at, and how to back up without going over the curb, make her save her own cash to fix the damages to the 'Stang before you let her drive it again.

But that's just my cocky-a$$ed little opinion.

Dan

[Schrup]

I'm looking for ideas, I can't just yank her license without a revolt. The car is great leverage & I told her it's gone if she either gets a ticket or a reported accident (claim). I'm thinking I need to come up with a fair plan of consequences for these "little mishaps". Should I lay down the law & tell her the next time she brings home the car with so much as a scratch on it she will lose it for 2 weeks & the duration will double for each offence. She has been driving on her own for over 6 months & this crap has to end!!! I will also give her some more (mandatory) driving instruction this Thursday. What do you all think? Opinions appreciated.

Edit: I've already written the car off & prefer her to have an air bag.

[mikester]

Seriously - take it away. The frustration you will face for taking it away will help you to hold your anger and the line against her discretions.

too often I see parents who can't hold the line against their child's indiscretions in life. I hope I'm better than that because in the end for the young ones the parents are responsible for their actions financially and any other way you can think of.

As Moses superbly stated in the last thread regarding this - there is no reason to trust a teenager regardless of how trustworthy they are.

I'm an Eagle Scout - I earned it when I was 17 - soon after my 18th birthday I totaled my mom's brand new car. Just because I'm a "responsible" teenager doesn't mean I'm trustworthy it only means that when the adults are watching I make the right choices.

Freedom does not extend to teenagers who are the responsibility of their parents. She's going to be mad at you - deal with it (of course you know this).

[pwd72s]

Just maybe kids take care of things better when they have worked to pay for it than they do when parents just give them things? Take it away Paul...sooner or later the "mailbox" she backed into could turn into a pedestrian. It's pretty obvious she isn't paying attention...and the liability is eventually yours.

[lendaddy]

This IMHO has nothing to do with her driving skills. These all look like low speed bumps and/or common "party damage". Approaching this as a driving problem is treating the symptom not the problem.

[Z-man]

Paul:
IF she drives and has got the same red shade in your pupils, that I would say that would be her problem....

Man, did she do a number on that Mustang! I don't envy your predicament.

It looks like she's not taking these little bumps seriously. Perhaps she needs to repair all the dents in the car with the $$ she makes (allowance, part time job...etc) . Perhaps when her wallet gets hit, then she'll be more responsible.

Just an idea.
-Z.

EDIT: I wouldn't be surprised if she cracked the second tailight to make it match with the other side!

[Schrup]

Originally posted by Z-man
Paul:
IF she drives and has got the same red shade in your pupils, that I would say that would be her problem....

Z, she is subjected to random drug tests which see has passed all so far.

[MichiganMat]

Did she buy the car?
You could start by making her accountable for each bit of damage to the vehicle if its yours.
Instead of trying to force her to drive well via punishment, instruction, and shame, why not have her pay for parts of the car that are damaged. Sounds to me like she's not much interested in the consequences of her driving mistakes. I would start by introducing her to the cost of those tail-lights. Or get her on a payment plan to purchase the car from you.

If its her car though (ie she bought it) you may have to just take away the keys, if nothing else in order to protect her from herself.

[B D]

Bad driver or not she has no pride about driving that car! If she loved the car or even respected it she would come home crying or be very upset whenever a new dent or scratch was made. It's obvious she does not care about the car. If she had to pay for the car or the repairs she would learn to respect it quickly. Maybe if she got a car of her choice she would take better care of it, though it does not look like she deserves another car.

And keep her away from the 911!

[smoak]

I understand wanting the air bag so I guess the Mustang is the way to go then. If that is the case, DO NOT FIX IT PERIOD. There is no reason why you should, unless you are getting rid of it. She is going to do this again, even if it is not "her fault." I think the lesson to be learned is how she plans on dealing with these incidents, despite her fault. I mean, if some joker backs into your ride and leaves, do you automatically make a claim, I hope not. No, you might actually fix it yourself or pay for it to be fixed. This is a lesson she needs to learn right away. Things have value, the value is typically paid for with hard work. A life's lesson that is lost on many of her generation for sure.

Next lesson, attentiveness during driving. I would take the fuse (not telling her of course) from her radio and tell her when she goes a certain time frame, the radio will work again. Same goes for cell phone. Put her on some kind of no phone in the car law. Check on this to make sure she is abiding. Call her from unknown numbers, see if she will answer. If she uses the phone in the car, this is a HUGE distraction for anyone much less a 16. She can't handle the distractions.

Does she have friends in the car when she drives? Remove them right away. Tell her, no more friends. They can get hurt too with her inattentive driving. This is also a lesson she needs to learn. When she goes a certain time period, viola friends can climb back in. She will feel stupid when friends ask for a ride, but will learn that other people can be hurt her actions too.

Take her driving again immediately. Watch her back up, park, all that. Is she using mirrors. Paying attention. Don't comment while she is doing it. Take notes like a driving instructor, unless is life threatening, don't say bad stuff and comment on the good stuff. Give her the bad stuff when you are done.

She is 16. This aint over by a long shot. If she gets it by 18 you are lucky. I certainly wonder if my wife does sometimes. Best of luck.

[mikester]

Originally posted by smoak
Does she have friends in the car when she drives? Remove them right away. Tell her, no more friends. They can get hurt too with her inattentive driving. This is a lesson also she needs to learn. When she goes a certain time period, viola friends can climb back in. She will feel stupid when friends ask for a ride, but will learn that other people can be hurt her actions.

THAT is an extremely good point.

[Icemaster]

Originally posted by Schrup
I'm looking for ideas,

Try this:

Bear in mind this won't work if she doesn't have a job...

Every incident gets taken to the body shop for an estimate. She pays you for the damage. She'll rack up one hell of a bill....

Take it out of allowance (do kids still get that...) or what ever funding source she has...

[turbo6bar]

Gals like this make me nervous to ride a bicycle. Like pwd72s said, the next mailbox she hits might be a human being.

[ubiquity0]

Why not make it a condition that if she wants to keep using the car SHE has to keep it in the same condition it was in when you gave it to her?
i.e. she puts a new dent in it then she has a week in which to get it repaired out of her pocket otherwise no more car privileges.