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Unfair and Unbalanced
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: From the misty mountains to the bayou country
Posts: 9,711
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Virgin Shortage
Imam Ahl keel Yo Momma announced today that the volume of martyrs showing up in the seventh level of heaven has resulted in a shortage of virgins. This high volume has forced Allah to revise the long standing 72 virgins & 8 little boys offer for martyrs downward to 25 ex-hookers & 2 old queens. In a press release Allah went on to say that continued high volume may result in further downward adjustments.
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10-29-2004, 11:10 AM
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Banned
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 497
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Klanner,
You know I don't think 1 muslims believes they get 72 virgins. This was made up crap after 911 to begin the full out muslim smear campaign. Just like Mohammed Atta the religious freak, eat pork chops and went to strip bars? Saying they get 72 virgins is as crazy as Jesus freaks saying only 144,000 of them will be saved and the rest of us screwed. Edited - Z-man. You only post this to ridicule others. Pinkie. Last edited by Z-man; 10-29-2004 at 01:04 PM.. |
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10-29-2004, 11:31 AM
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Detached Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: southern California
Posts: 26,964
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Osama Bin Ladin found him self at the pearly gates and George Washington came up and kicked him in the groiin. While he was down, Thomas Jefferson came up and wacked him in the head with a club. Then John Q. Adams came and gouged him in the eye. This went on for a while until Allah showed up and Osama looked at Allah and said "WTF?" Allah said, "I told you that you would be met by 72 Virginians, what did you think I said"
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Hugh Last edited by Hugh R; 10-29-2004 at 09:16 PM.. |
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10-29-2004, 11:40 AM
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Unfair and Unbalanced
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: From the misty mountains to the bayou country
Posts: 9,711
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Pinkie, you show the depth of your willingness to not let fact get in the way of what you want to believe.
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"SARAH'S INSIDE Obama's head!!!! He doesn't know whether to defacate or wind his watch!!!!" ~ Dennis Miller! |
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10-29-2004, 12:33 PM
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Banned
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 497
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Fact and Mule go together as good as Dubya and complete sentences.
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10-29-2004, 12:40 PM
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Information Junky
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: an island, upper left coast, USA
Posts: 73,189
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Re: Virgin Shortage
Quote:
 Yes, but John Kerry has a PLAN for that.He will twist Frances arm, until they give-up some of their un-used martyr-virgins for the cause.
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Everyone you meet knows something you don't. - - - and a whole bunch of crap that is wrong. Disclaimer: the above was 2¢ worth. More information is available as my professional opinion, which is provided for an exorbitant fee. 
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10-29-2004, 12:44 PM
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Too big to fail
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Do I get dinged for the ones I claimed here on earth? Am I "in the hole" so to speak, or do I get new set when I get there?
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"You go to the track with the Porsche you have, not the Porsche you wish you had." '03 E46 M3 '57 356A Various VWs |
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10-29-2004, 01:13 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: I'm out there.
Posts: 13,084
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Quote:
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My work here is nearly finished.
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10-29-2004, 01:18 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: I'm out there.
Posts: 13,084
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Quote:
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My work here is nearly finished.
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10-29-2004, 01:30 PM
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1.367m later
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: small farm town Iowa..........at last
Posts: 6,357
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Have you seen Emma lately? She's not aging as gracefull as one would hope.
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non velox ad propitiare, verisimile non oblivisci If it's not The Original Automotive Innovations and Restoration, then it's just hot AIR. |
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10-29-2004, 01:53 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: I'm out there.
Posts: 13,084
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Here's what I've requested from the local Mullah. I know it's a longshot, but what the heck.
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My work here is nearly finished.
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10-29-2004, 01:58 PM
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Longtime Member
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shortage???? more like a famine in the places i frequent.
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78SC PRC Spec911 (sold 12/15) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7I6HCCKrVQ Now gone: 03 996TT/75 slicklid 3.oL carb'd hotrod 15 Rubicon JK/07.5 LMM Duramax 4x/86 Ski Nautique Correct Craft |
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10-29-2004, 02:46 PM
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I m not sure I would like to be stuck with 72 virgins complaining that I spent too much time in the garage, that I dont listen enough to them and that we dont see their mother enough.
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Serge 1973 914 2.0 mostly track car 1984 Golf ( Wife car ) 1996 Volvo 850 station ( Good family-men car ) |
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10-29-2004, 02:55 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 3,580
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Quote:
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993 Last edited by cowtown; 10-29-2004 at 09:59 PM.. |
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10-29-2004, 09:56 PM
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Unfair and Unbalanced
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: From the misty mountains to the bayou country
Posts: 9,711
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Lynn said:
"Mule is just out fishing and trying to catch a big one. Careful--he may set the hook." Correctamundo Lynn, that & get a laugh. The good news is that there is no shortage of mulletts on the left chomping at the bait.
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"SARAH'S INSIDE Obama's head!!!! He doesn't know whether to defacate or wind his watch!!!!" ~ Dennis Miller! |
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11-01-2004, 05:34 AM
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Living in Reality
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 5,671
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Mullets are a republican thing...along with country music at the rallies, etc.
Democrats are definitely more stylish. |
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11-01-2004, 05:39 AM
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Occam's Razor
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Lake Jackson, TX
Posts: 2,663
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Quote:
  
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Craig '82 930, '16 Ram, '17 F150 |
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11-01-2004, 07:02 AM
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Too big to fail
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Maybe I'm just different, but I'd hit that
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"You go to the track with the Porsche you have, not the Porsche you wish you had." '03 E46 M3 '57 356A Various VWs |
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11-01-2004, 07:03 AM
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Double Trouble
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: North of Pittsburgh
Posts: 11,705
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who the hell has time to teach 72 virgins the joy of sex?? Just give me 2 or 3 nymphos and we'll call it square!
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I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey..........but I turned myself around.. 75 914 1.8 2010 Cayenne base |
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11-01-2004, 07:10 AM
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I think the 72 virgins is a great idea, really. Question, which lucky Muslim gets the honor of offering up his daughter(s) as the chosen few being offered up for the Jenna Jamison love fest?
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********************** Bill Smoak What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul! |
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11-01-2004, 10:06 AM
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the 23 car
domino
