Guy Thoughts
 

In the interest of keeping Z-man hopping.....

Here are some observations, from the penile point of view.

Men understand men. Easy. Women understand men. They're very very simple. Women understand women. (Men have no clue how this happens) Men do not understand women, and women understand this. Makes sense. So in a sense, men have a bit of a disadvantage here.

Men have another disadvantage, and I think half of the guys out there already know where I'm going with this one. I was chatting recently with a young female (hey, don't get the wrong idea...she's a relative) who had recently broken up with the boyfriend. I felt sorry for her and was kinda wondering out loud whether she felt lonely and what her plan was. When she sensed my concern she perked up and said "Oh, don't worry about that. Guys are dime-a-dozen. I could go down to the grocery store right now and get another one in five minutes." Guys cannot say that. Guys work hard to get laid, and often jsut have to redouble their efforts to get the job done. Ladies.......need not.

(Gay guys please forgive me for this next observation. I'm totally supportive of gay marriage, etc., so please cut me some slack here. But I'm not going to beat around the bush. So to speak) Guys understand lesbians. Heck, women are soft, comforting, they smell good, fit in tight spaces, nice little voices, etc. They usually have charming qualities like a certain amount of submissiveness. What's not to like? So, guys understand why they like women, and why women would like women. What we have trouble with is why anyone would like men. They're stinky, overbearing, conceited, loud, etc. And they have this testosterone thing going on that cannot possibly do anything but get in the way. So ladies (and I know there are a very small number of you who are or may be reading), if it looks at times like we're totally shooting in the dark (again, no pun intended), we are.

I was totally flattered by a female recently (exceedingly easy and important to do this by the way, in case you ladies have not found this truth). She said she's really glad she's not a man. Men have lots of pressures, etc. She just does not envy men. Felt good to have my efforts validated.

super, ok i will play.

on a more superficial level, i think it can even be broken down easier. your young relative is actually incorrect. if she trotted down to the grocery store and it was full of ugly guys, she would come back empty handed. i think the best thing to be would be to a drop dead handsome intellegent male. if your gay, it would be a slam dunk. straight, nothing but net. the only difference between a woman and a man is that we are a bit obsessed with getting another person to play with our peckers. we will even tolerate a less attractive partner. a woman isnt so focused on getting laid, that is the pressure difference.

you mix in a bit of LOVE, and that is when things get complicated.

just to add something. you know in a male/female relationship, (typically) it is the man always trying to get the action. in a male/male union, they are both men, with that attitude. let's just say, there is alot of action goin on. i sat in on a gay card game one night, the coversation was definately "different". personally, i cant figure it out.

You need to read up on Ladder Theory:
http://www.laddertheory.com/

Re: Guy Thoughts
 

I don't entirely agree with "women understand men" Sure, the superficial stuff is easy, screwing, sleeping, eating, etc. But women in my experience are nearly as dense as men when it comes to understanding the nuances of relationships and fulfillment. They just have the advantage of being raised in a culture that values group validation and socialization, which gives them a leg up on understanding social dynamics.

If you want to rephrase that to "women understand many of the common buttons that men have and how to push them to get what they want"... I'd buy that for a dollar.

JCM

Super,

Your thoughts were validated by a couple of other females. Its easy to find validity if your looking for it.

As for the male/female thing, think about it as ying/yang. Too much estrogin, like too much testosterone, can be overwhelming to just about anyone. I would put my money on its a basis of what the individual's chemistry/thoughts (and upbringing) that are seeked out. Both sexs have an affection for men or wemon, sometimes both.

I know my girlfriend "loves the cock", and the thought of being intiment with another women is something she cannot comprehend. I like the though (go figure), but I can understand those who cannot. Its not always rational, our sex life is a product of our upbringing and internal chemistry.

Re: Guy Thoughts
 

Maybe because women have Testosterone as well. ;)


BTW, I may be all the above but "Stinky" isn't one of them.

Re: Guy Thoughts
 

What's not to understand? They want the same things we do in life, work, relationships, etc. They just go about it a different way. As soon as us men realize this, relationships become easy. There's still work involved, of course. You wouldn't things to come too easily, would you? I should write a book or something because I've got all this stuff figured out. Go ahead, ask me any question.

Re: Re: Guy Thoughts
 

You should meet some of the women my friends are divorced or getting divorced from.......

Okay JCM, you'd buy the notion that women know how to push our buttons. Would you also buy the assertion that women can predict a guy's behavior fairly easily and accurately?

Vash, the young female relative could easily have come back with an attractive male. Trust me on this. Still, for most women, I accept your point.

Rick, I'm not stinky either but I have heard that as an overall complaint about men. Yes they have testosterone, but who prefers them to act male? Huh?

Chris, I'm sorry but you've got me rolling on the floor laughing out loud. Sorry. I'd love to buy the book. And just as a little background here for you, and for Don who suggests that too much of any one hormone is not good: I'm 47, my dad was 'asleep at the wheel' while I lived with a mom and four sisters. Then I got married and had two daughters. So, for 46 years I've been swimming in estrogen. Don, I'd say it's not that bad. Chris, there is no way you understand women. If women did not understand women, men would confidently conclude their behavior is completely random.

I guess it depends on the type of woman you prefer. You know how successful the Testosterone patch has been on "frigid" women? Some guys like their partners to be, uhm, let's say "assertive"....and yes without hair on their knuckles...lol

Ummm... That's a tough one to answer for me, mostly because most of the relationships I've observed closely are with fairly unpredictable people. I'm not close with many people that aren't complex.

What I would agree to is that there are certain reactions in men that tend to be fairly predictable, and if you analyze relationship behavior... ... you'll find that most of the power struggles that plague modern relationships will be turned around these issues.

Sure, a little "forward" ness is exciting. And yes, testosterone has a powerful effect on libido. That seems incredibly obvious to me anyway, and doctors have noticed its effect on women whose libidos are low.

But maybe there is something here I am not communicating well. I do not consider men and women to be mostly the same, with some minor differences. They are exceedingly different.

One factor for women being "unpredictable" or why we don't understand them is due to their more volatile and every changing body chemistry. It's a relative walk in the park for guys.

Agreed.

Supe, it's all about shoes. Women love shoes. Even my wife who dislike receiving flowers, candy or jewelry love shoes. Take them to Nordstrom once in a while. If your girl's frugal, take her to Payless Shoe Source, you'll see. If that doesn't work, well I'm working on chapter 2 of the book, I'll let you know what I come up with.

Super, I was stickly keeping that comment on a sexual relationship level. Your daughters are a COMPLETELY different situation. You love them no matter whay they do.

Perhaps i should add to my statement. For MOST of the heterosexual public, a balance is what they seek. That, and the fact that man/women bondage has been going on for over 2000 years. But even in the Roman times gays existed, its been documented.

I would have to say i know the women in my life better than they know me. I've accomplished this by listening to my elders whom i spent a great deal of time with listening to disscutions about these topics. Do i have a PhD? Not by a long shot. But there are certain things that one can find answers to by watching and reflecting. People are consistant, its in our nature. If there is a specific though process you wish to understand about a women i could take a shot at it?

I'm not saying i know everything. If i did, i wouldn't be here, or human for that matter. One of my best friends who's a female once told me when you really care for the women that your with: "When we (women) cannot be reasoned with, ie: cranky, undecided, emotional, PMS etc, play your wild card! Tell the women "i don't know whats wrong because i'm a guy, i wish i could help, but i know i love you" ". By doing so, you might stop all those thoughts of insecurty, and she's left with one simple thing. Now they try to reject this because you must be a liar because your a male and males do this, this is when you keep giong with the fact that this was not a problem yesterday, so why today? Reasoning should kick in. If it does not, you've got yourself a bi-polar pyscho hose beast that no matter how beautiful the grass is, its astro turf (fake).

Chris, I'm still LOL. I sold ladies' shoes for seven years, including Nordstrom. I don't pretend to understand women, in fact the opposite is my point. But it's fair to say I've had a good vantage point. Good enough to know my limitations.

Don perhaps I married the psycho hose beast, but here's a couple of stories:

A building inspector I work with says that when his wife goes out on the hormone roller coaster, if necessary, he says "Honey, it's not my fault you're a woman. I'm doing my job just as well today as yesterday, so whatever has changed is still not a reason to take it out on me. I love you." He says it always works. I say this remark will get you a cold stare as often as a warm hug.

Years ago when my buddy and I were both newly wed, to ladies who were friends, he called me and told me a story. The story was about a plan to meet his wife somewhere, and when he got there the place was closed. I do not remember the decision/solution he chose, but it seemed reasonable to me. He said his wife was pissed and wondered why. I could not help him but offered to see if my wife could shed light on it. Got home and told her the story. Just as I got to the end, she said "I bet Twila was pissed." Today, neither Larry nor I understand what happened. The two ladies seem to understand perfectly.

One more data point. I may not be making sense. I've had about eight hours of sleep total since Sunday.

Super, I know what your saying, lots of things cannot be fully expalined. My girlfriend HATES to be not-informed about whats going on. If we are going on a road trip to visit some of my friends (and she has to go with me), she needs to know every street we will be driving on. She is a control freek, plain and simple. I understand this, wether i tell her where we are giong is my option. I know it makes for a "ruff ride", be she'll get over it, she always does. The resterant thing, i can see some girls i've known act that way too. It shows "lack of planing" on his part, not "you really do love me because you try". That female, i would bet has a high level of expectations.

I've got a buddy who's ex-wife was argueing about him keeping his promises with their kids. He's a great father who doesn't put the kids in the middle like she tries to. He was simply trying to tell her he tries to get them things or take them places, but its not ALWAYS going to work out. Then he asked her if she'd ever been disappointed. To which she said "NO, never in my whole life". Some people you cannot reason with, and others just don't allow themselves to try. She does not try harder than she can, she only gives the kids what she can from a safe distance to make sure she "never" lets them down. I've met her, waco woman.

One thing i cannot stand about my girfriend now is her though process which she gets from her mother. They both think its funny that Dan, her husband, is in the "dog house" for not agreeing or being sensitve enough. For once i'd like it to be recogized that the equal-sex is equal, and just because we don't agree, does not mean one is more right than the other.

So when the women piss off the men, do we put them in the "cat house"? No. There is a comic/calender that her mother gave to us from a farming supply place a few cities up from us. It shows two cowboys at a bar, one saying: "My wife and i had some words, I didn't get to say any". I don't take it seriously, but its stuff like that which gives girls the subconsious OK to think they have all the controll in whats supposed to be an "equal" relationship. If she has more invested then me, i wanna know what and where it is!