You too!

Wow, Jason. Your story is heartbreaking and then finally full of hope, which I believe every word of since I have heard it countless times.

I admire those here that have shared their personal stories, I am naturally a private person and cautious on the 'net, (though my boundaries have definitely blurred on this forum at times), ;) but I make an exception w/ my anonymity when sharing details of my life can help someone else. It is the small price that I can never repay for many years of recovery from a seemingly hopeless condition. I'm also a recovering alcoholic and addict, (contrary to popular misconception I will never be "cured", but that's alright since I have a great life one day at a time), I will help anyone anywhere at anytime who wants to get clean and sober, either from this board or not. That's the deal that I made for the life that I have today.

I am Porscheless at the moment, but I can tell you that even though my life will never be perfect, (how boring would that be), ;) , there would not have been any cool 911 in my life or track time or all of the cool friends that I have made here if I was not sober. I'd have been somewhere else these past years, where, I don't want to venture a guess. Just not here.

I spend a fair amount of time doing service work in the community in the addiction/alcoholism field, I tell you, it enriches my life immeasurably and gives me massive gratitude since it exposes me to such a contrast to the overwhelming beauty that I am surrounded by everyday.

Alcoholism isn't defined by how much you drink, IMO, I know people who like to get a buzz on who have beautiful, functioning lives and good relationships, (with themselves and others), it is more a case of having an unmanageable life and drugs/alcohol being a significant part of it. The separate disease of depression can have a lot to do with it as well.

Take care, and everyone have a safe and Happy Holiday season! SmileWavy

Thanks Denis.

Does hanging around the guy who founded Fuller Seminarys Graduate School of Psychology or an Associate Dean of Students overseeing PhD Canidates in Psych and who has been in practice for 35 years.....count as an "Outsiders objective view of my reality'......if so... whew I was scared there for a moment.....LOL

Thanks Denis..I too am commited to paying back all the help I got in my 20 years. I ditto the" I would not be or have what I have now if I had stayed out there". I don't give a hang about anonimity, I wear it so anyone can see what it has done to help me make a better life for myself and my family and friends. I as you am only too willing to help any and all. It's my duty and my pleasure to help. Jason just helped someone too I'm sure of that even if it was just me by reinforcing my decision to do what I have done. Thanks to both of you. Most of you know me as a smart ass I'm sure, but I take this to heart and I am sincere in my offering.

Ohhhh..people have no understanding of he11 unless they've been there.....I have been on this road for 32 years..and have been relentless in figuring out what makes myself as well as others tick....and just when you think you got yourself out of it,something comes along and drags you right back in again...no thats a line from the Godfather 2....anyway something along those lines keeps me humble and might just explain why I have such a wicked sense of humor....and am able to play with perceptions of reality...

You rock on, brother. Glad to see you made it.

Jason

Thanks everybody for your kind words. As "we" say, you can only keep what you have by giving it away. I am the first to throw my anonimity under the bus, especially if it gives me the chance to share my experience, strength, and hope with someone who may need or want to hear it.

I believe in following the traditions, but I also like to let people know that I am in no way a spokesperson, just another F%&#ked up drunk who is having a streak of good days.

Any body needs any help, let me know, and I got you covered, as long as you want it. This $hit is scary, and will kill anybody...it doesn't matter how tough you are. I've lost a lot of good people in my life to bad choices directly connected to chemical dependency of some form or another.

I don't feel teary eyed or whistfull about anyone pulling themselves up outa their own he11..for me it's either you do it or you die...for me thats the bottom line...

Now it's nice to get a helping hand...I would almost say necessary...but ultimately it's you who have to wrestle with your demons at 4 AM...it's you who have to grab ahold of those live electric wires that represent the pain you feel....it is you who has to take responsibilty for your actions...your life ...there is NO ESCAPING from this reality and no easy way to do it..

I remember what Ben Franklin said over 2 centuries ago...."That 90% of people kill themselves in one fashion or another." Either by taking drugs, alcohol,smoking, eating, or engaging in dangerous actiivities...some methods just take a little longer than others.

solution for Tabs
 

Tabs our problem now is...AIREDALES!!!


http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1103157754.jpg

whoa..I want what your taking!

Looks like they have stars in their eyes....yep I love em to death..

Your Big Boy could be George.....the gentle giant...and Misty the rodent catcher...

ALCOHOL= SOCIAL LUBRICANT...............

alchoholics (and drug addicts) are mostly born, not made (although the nurture part does play a big part). There is a genetic predisposition to addictive behavior...and if you've got it, odds are pretty good you'll end up an addict.

So I think the title of the thread is a different question than most are answering. I think the definition is when alchohol (or drugs) affect your life negatively...for some people that is drinking once a month, not necessarily once a day. Just depends on the person and the circumstance.

For me it was more drugs than booze, although at my peak I was drinking every day along with pills, coke, and whatever else I could lay my hands on. I was "functional" on some level for a few years in that I held a job, but towards the end I found "alternative" creative employment. For me it ended on xmas-eve 1983, when I took two (or four) too many doriden to go along with the valium, whiskey, coke, pot, and dilauded. I missed xmas and was told the next day by my heroin-addict roomate that they had to prop me up because I was having trouble breathing. My other roomate (who owned the house) didn't really notice, what with the revolving door policy of bikers sleeping with her and dealing crank out of the place.

That was it. Put my tail between my legs, moved back home, went to college, and haven't looked back since. Fell off the drug wagon twice (did a few lines a month or two after quitting, then once more in '89), but felt physically ill afterwards. Would still occasionally drink, but I am somewhat allergic to the stuff and tend to get violently ill. That didn't stop me from the occasional binge drinking during college and grad school (like once every month or two). So I was a mostly "dry" alchoholic. Found AA a bit later and finally moved from "dry" to "recovering". I can have an occasional glass of wine and don't binge or want to. Well, some times I want to, but don't.

Each person is different, but it is funny how the stories you hear in AA (and here) have very similar elements.

We musicians are all alike. I CAN however still burn one occasionally with no ill effects.It's the booze that turns me aggresive..instant A hole.

Ditto. I'm 3 years, 7 months sober. I denied my addiction to the world and myself for 15 years. Inside, I knew there was a problem the whole time.

Life is better now.

good for you mark.

I have a #11( white out) on my bass amp. It's fun! Rattles my nuts.

My hats off to Jason, Targa911s and the many others who have told their story here and have beaten the bottle! It can't be easy and I'm proud of you for saving your own life! I'll say a prayer for you guys tonight and I'm thankful you've all made it! Enjoy your holidays and remember how important you are to your family and friends!!

Way to go, Mark! I'm happy for anyone here who has faced this one down and not blinked, whatever your personal truth about it might be. All I can say is that I am a free man today, wasn't always so, I can go anywhere and be comfortable and usually have fun, sometimes I even feel like I have a purpose other than just enjoying the ride, which I also do.

If anyone is reading this and thinks that they might have a problem w/ drugs or alcohol, I can tell you that there is a freedom that you can't imagine in recovery, and a boatload of fun to boot. AA meetings filled w/ horny women and great guys for friends, (shiess, did I say that?), :D , anyways, we don't sell this thing but it's free for the taking if ya want it. Check it out online, it's HUGE.

Alcoholism and addiction are diseases of loneliness, the holidays are a GREAT time to get sober if you need it, don't put yourself through another horse***** X-mas driving the porcelin bus. Take care all! :cool: