Wow, I had no idea that so many of us had these problems. I rarely meet other recovering alcoholics in real life. I've always been very open about my problem which has made me approachable and allowed me to help others along the way. My friends at work think I'm obsessive-compulsive with all the hobbys I get involved in, I think it's my way of trying to live life to the fullest after spending so much of my younger years buried in a bottle or stricken with the fear that panic disorder brings. One thing I will always wonder is whether or not I could have just one drink but memories of my life before, during and after alcohol always stop my from finding out. Nowadays I find myself enjoying good coffee and since I'm currently bodybuilding on my slender frame I've even switched that to decaf after 10AM.

I really agree with what Denis said, life after an addiction can be wonderful, I know mine is. ;)

Wow you guys...thank you for sharing all of this.

I usually don't just dive into this subject either....but alcoholism, depression, addictive behavior, and obsessive compulsiveness also run in my family....I think a lot of it is genetic...almost every one of my aunts & uncles were an alcoholic.

Growing up in a family of 15 people (10 girls, 3 boys) I could go right through the list and say who drinks, who does not, who drinks too much, who has ODed, who is in AA, etc. My dad was an alcoholic and I was in total denial about that until college because I didn't what to accept it. He was very functional and took wonderful care of us kids & loved my mom & showed it...nice house, cabin, vacations, private school...but the edge was always there. We used to pride ourselves on how many beers we could carry up from the basement for dad. :) He died in 92 of mouth cancer (smoking combined w/alcohol for many years).

I know I have times where I don't drink much at all and then times where I have had one too many. It's like it is on my mind not to be like so much of what i've seen & see.

Thanks again you guys....this was all really good information and generous of you to share so many personal things about your lives. S~

these peanuts are making me thirsty!

hey im carla and im really worried because my mothers been drinking alot for a long time. at first i thought that she jus drank for nothing really. my mother only drinks beer though. but today i heard her talkin on the phone with one of her frineds saying that she gets axieous to drink that she wants to go out anywhere and find beer. im afraid that she'll switch to Rum, liquor which is stronger then beer:-( it hurts so much wen i see her drunk. before she only drank on weekends but now its gotten to the point where shes drinking beer everyday. i only live with my mom and my little sister thats why it hurts so much because we only have her and i feel like we'r loosing her:-(i don know what i can do but i think its now turned into an addiction like her body needs ither body asks for it shes yerning for it. but can a person really become an alcoholic drinking beer?somebody give me some answeres i dont know wat to do:-(

I would recommend that you get yourself to an Al-Anon meeting, and buy yourself a copy of their book. Then go to an AA meeting and get yourself a copy of their book. Read about the illness, and try to gain some understanding of what you're up against.

The thing is, even if your mother doesn't get sober or live in a productive way, you still have a responsibility to take care of yourself and your little sister.

As far as what you can do, the answer is essentially nothing. As sad as this is, the fact remains that if your mother gets sober, she's the onewho has to take the necessary steps. If you're trying to get her sober, you most likely will only experience more pain and feelings of helplessness, and could possibly do more damage to you relationship with your mother.

BTW, if you have to ask if she's an alcoholic, she probably is...

Let us know if anyone else can help, and good luck!

Wow! This thread is intense!

Jason - your story is amazing you have overcome odds that most would not you are a giant among men never forget that.

I come from a long line of Alcoholics. My Grandmother died from Liver failure. My Grandfather is 87 years old and has been a alcy for his whole life and is an abusive drunk. (We suspect he is pickled because he shows no signs of slowing down) My Uncle (Dads brother) has overdosed twice and has had long stints of coke and various other druge and is now about to die also from liver failure/diabetes and he is mentally ill from all the acid.


My father used to be a drug addict and drunk and would abusive just like his dad. He straightened up when I was little (10 or so) and drinks from time to time but not to the point of intoxication. I can remember his A-hole years too well and promised myself to never be like him. On the flip side he found Jesus and I can safely say, that Alcoholics have addictive personalities. He bacame one of the most obnoxious Jese freaks you ever met. I grew up in a household that was addicted to church. If its not Alcohol its something else. I am fine with the Jesus stuff he is at least a nice person now.

My dad said something to me when I was about 19 years old that haunted me to this day and has kept me from being an alcoholic. He told me about my family and their history and he looked me straight in the eye and told me to be VERY careful with alcohol.

I made myself a rule, if I find myself drinking too much Beer (I LOVE Beer) or other drinks I stop. I do not have a drink for 3 weeks after that and by that point I am usually over wanting a drink and don't bother buying any to keep at the house.

I have an addictive personality just like my dad, grandad and uncle. My problem has always been cars its a running joke with my family about how many I have bought and sold over the last 20 years. I have lost count. Another problem I have is these damn internet forums. I have cut back a lot but look where I am sitting right now......

Internet forums have ruined my life in ways I whish I could have back all the hours I waste on them.

I was a recovering alcoholic with nearly 10 years sobriety until earlier this year when I decided to experiment again. I did those first ten years without AA or any other support network. When I realized my experiment was failing miserably I stopped the drinking again but I now have to attend AA regularily to maintain my sobriety. I also enrolled myself into an outpatient program to learn more about my illness. The short fact is your mother is likely alcoholic and it doesn't matter what type of alcohol she drinks.

You cannot help your mother so don't even bother, hopefully she will realize her problem and try to stop before it's too late. The suggestion to try Al-anon and AA meetings is a VERY good one, you'll learn a lot and save yourself much grief. The good news is that if your mother decides to stop drinking and joins AA there is a very good chance she'll achieve longterm sobriety and live a very full life but the choice is hers. Your mother has a disease and it's nothing to be ashamed of, just do your best to take care of yourself and your sister.

One of the things I've learned this year is that not only am I a real alcoholic but I also think link one. For me it's always all or nothing, like the P-car, computers, machining I get in a rut and overdo everything. These days I balance my time between AA meetings, machining, work, family, the P-car and computers and I stop myself from getting overly involved in any particular area. Hopefully your mother will get help but realize that once she does she will be different, alcohol is not the problem, her way of thinking is.

My $0.02

I ignored this thread the first time it went around and I may hit the back button when I finish writting. My father was an alcoholic/smoker/heavy eater and died at 42 when I was 4. My mother who raised me rarely drank and never smoked. I started drinking young and smoking pot shortly after that. I've never quit the drinking but I've managed to stop the drug use for the most part. I'm 38 now, I have a good job, a family, no DWI's, etc. I have a few to several beers a day, more if I go out with friends. I can't imagine stopping even though I know I should. I had one friend join AA. He killed himself. I don't see myself at AA. I don't see myself quitting for that matter. I guess I've just come to terms with being a functional alcoholic. I don't take Tylenol. There, I said it.

The one thing that may actually get me stop or cut back is vanity. I've always been thin. Now it's getting harder to keep a flat stomach. Maybe it's all a social thing after all.

4.5 years here...AA meetings frequently...It is not an intellectual effect it is a spiritual one. The program will work you if you work it...which means if you do the work (12 steps) you won't need to understand it, the understanding just happens on its own.

I feel sorry for people who do not have the program, as they do not have a way to deal with the underlying issues when they crop up...Drinking or drug use is but a symptom of a spiritual malady.

Mul,

I know what you mean. I have been pleasantly surprised with my short time in the program so much so that I'm happy in a way that I picked up after all those years, I never knew what I was missing in the way of fellowship and inner peace.

For the record I picked back up drinking because I missed enjoying wine and such, even had a thread on here about it but I soon found myself relying on alcohol for everything from sleep to dealing with life's issues. Once I started having a drink every night after work I realized I was slipping back to somewhere I didn't want to go. I'm sober now using the tools I learned on my own all those years with the added benefit of learning new tools while working AA's 12 steps. Like you Mul I do feel sorry for those without a program, I know it's helped me look at a lot of things in my life differently.

I think the main thing that turns people off about AA is the spiritual part but it is critical to the program's success and it's important to note it's spiritual not religous in nature.

I think sometimes the 'definitions' of who is an alcoholic are not helpful. People are not robots. I like to drink wine on the weekends, and over the holidays I drink more with the parties and such. Every year during the spring, I quit drinking for a few months. No big deals, no big announcements....just a clearing of the mind after the holidays.

So am I an alcoholic?

No.

"Drinking or drug use is but a symptom of a spiritual malady"

Very true Mulhollanddose.

:eek: :mad: http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/king2.gif http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/...s/beerchug.gif http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/drummer.gif http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/explode.gif http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/hanged.gif

All of the men on my dad's side of the family are alcoholics/recovering alcoholics... I never drank until I turned 21 (this last August). Even now, I've barely even had a buzz, haven't had more than two drinks at once. I don't like the idea of losing control or feeling sick... It's not something to mess with, imho. I'm glad I can have a drink with friends or whatever, but that's definitely enough.

Don 944 LA, the storyteller. Pretty much covers it, right there.

lol...join the club...a very common story, which would absolutely qualify you.

There are two absolutes I have seen countless times, Boom:
1. You go back out and try to drink like mere mortals and your life turns to ***** in short, almost expedited, order.
2. You stick around and do the work, your life becomes better than you ever imagined life could be.

"You will know a new happiness and a new peace"

Truly is a blessing...brought me to a relationship with God, which I was far far far away from in my cups and assorted panties (their's, not mine :D)...This blessing of AA few enjoy, in fact the recidivism rate is something like 95%.

My favorite prayer is the 3rd step prayer...I suggest you commit it to memory, I trust you will enjoy it.:D

If you feel the need to control your drinking...your drinking is out of control. Sober 20 years now. the BEST decision I have ever made in my life. No doubt I would be dead by now if I kept going. The past 20 years have been the best and most rewarding years in my life. Don't question it any more just do it and reap the benefits.

Hic'

Couldn't bring myself to read the whole thread.
Hang with me, I'll get you a good start.