Great VW thread

[Porsche virgin]

I don't know if this is real or not, but either way it is damn funny.

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=1703095&page=1

[chibone_914]

All I have to say is......PENDEJO!

[David]

Pendejo, that means engineer right? That's what the shop floor guys told me at work

I thought it was nice to see how civil the whole thread stayed. Maybe we can all learn to get along.

[Wrecked944]

I would say it is fake except it is incredibly similar to the threads I posted when I first came to Pelican. When I decided to rebuild and regear the transmission in my 911, I asked a lot of unbelievabley stupid questions like, "What is a floor jack?" For real. And the folks on this BBS showed amazing patience and generosity. And despite my encyclopedic ignorance, the project came out great in the end and I had lots of fun, bought a lot of tools, and met great people from this BBS along the way. Check out the links below my sig to get an idea of the whole fiasco.

[cowtown]

Oh, man. It's GOT to be fake...right?

[VaSteve]

I would say that it's also got to be fake, but funny. Who goes from washing their engine with water and blowing the motor to installing a full blown turbo kit (actually more than one) by the end of it all.

I think the collective leg is being pulled and when it's all done, it's going to be some showstopper (in a Jetta?) that runs quarter miles in the low 6's.

What guy making six figures has so little sense to attempt something so big on such a worthless car? You could buy a new Jetta for what he's got in that one (before the Turbos). I need his job, it must be easy.

This is priceless however:

I'd like to know where these other guys (like the domestics) learned to work on cars since they are so quick to run their mouths. I mean, did you come bobsleding out of your mothers crotch with a craftsman tool set stapled to your head or did you make a couple of mistakes to start out.

I mean jeeze if you guys were on gumby's junk any harder you'd be his nutsac.

(the other bad finger) to all the haters.

[Porsche virgin]

To be fair VaSteve, how many of us have poured way too much money into cars without the hope of ever seeing a return? I mean, why put $20k into a 3.6L conversion? Because we love our cars and we love working on them. The sheer stupidity of this guy can only be matched by his determination! I love when he drilled holes through his oil pan while it was still attached to the engine! I cannot WAIT until the guy posts some pictures. Even if it is just a hoax, it's a damn good read.

[Z-man]

Oh. My.

That's all.
-Z.

[VaSteve]

Originally posted by Porsche virgin
To be fair VaSteve, how many of us have poured way too much money into cars without the hope of ever seeing a return? I mean, why put $20k into a 3.6L conversion? Because we love our cars and we love working on them. The sheer stupidity of this guy can only be matched by his determination! I love when he drilled holes through his oil pan while it was still attached to the engine! I cannot WAIT until the guy posts some pictures. Even if it is just a hoax, it's a damn good read.

Yes. Good point. However, I don't think this guy started as loving working on the car.

BTW: What's wrong with Slick 50? Seriously. I recall when it came out, but have never used it. What does it actually do?

[Z-man]

Originally posted by VaSteve
BTW: What's wrong with Slick 50? Seriously. I recall when it came out, but have never used it. What does it actually do?

Well, I can tell you what it won't do:

1 bottle of that stuff WON'T lubricate a VW engine sufficiently!

-Z.

[Porsche virgin]

Hey Z, you do a great job on this forum, but my first thought when I saw that you replied to my thread was, "What'd I do!?!" ;-)

[cowtown]

Originally posted by Z-man
Well, I can tell you what it won't do:

1 bottle of that stuff WON'T lubricate a VW engine sufficiently!

-Z.

Yeah, I've heard you have to mix it with a gallon of water to lubricate the whole engine properly.

[Z-man]

Originally posted by Porsche virgin
Hey Z, you do a great job on this forum, but my first thought when I saw that you replied to my thread was, "What'd I do!?!" ;-)

I'm not only the Pelican OT Forum moderator, I'm also a customer!
-Z-man.

[Wrecked944]

Okay folks, let's fess up. We all started somewhere. There is a wonderful thread on the 911 BBS called "ADMIT TO YOUR STUPIDITY" in which other Pelicanheads admit things that would make this 8vGumby guy seem like an automotive Einstein.

admit to your stupidity

For instance, what I don't admit in my web page is the long list of expensive tools and parts I destroyed during my very first project (i.e. tranny rebuild). This included (but is not limited to) a hand full of bent screwdrivers, Snap On cold forged steel punches and chisels, a 911 high performance clutch disk, a speed sensor disc (shattered when I tried to remove it using a hydraulic press), tranny main bearing (also shattered), clutch fork (destroyed when I used a pry bar to yank it out without first removing the retaining pin), at least three hydraulic bottle jacks (while trying to remove the tranny from the motor without first disconnecting the nuts - don't ask how)...

Oh yeah, and the tranny drain plug. I managed to strip it and get it permanently stuck in the tranny when I tried to remove it by turning the wrench the wrong way (hence my "Lefty Righty Loosey Tighty" subtitle). So I drilled a hole in it to drain the tranny. Then I realized I had just put metal filings into my tranny (sound familiar?). Then I posted a question on Pelican asking if I should learn to weld so I could get a nut on it. Fortunately, the pelican crew talked me down off the ledge and said NO FREAKING WAY. So I ended up pounding a chisel into the plug and forcing it out of the hole. Miraculously, the threads were unharmed and the replacement plug did not leak.

I'm much better now...really

POST SCRIPT: Oh yeah, and then there was the time I was very tired and groggy and accidentally put windshield washer fluid into the coolant overflow tank on my 944. For days I could not figure out why my windshield washers still failed to spray and I must also confess the blown head gasket cost me a bundle of $$$.

[Porsche virgin]

Ah yes. We have all f'ed up. I removed my decklid that had a turbo whale tail. I didn't realize how heavy it was, however, and now my poor 911 has a scratch from where I dropped the damn thing!

[Simon S]

Maybe you should take some LSD and let a professional "tackle" that job

[Simon S]

Motto for this thread: "If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is."

[Mike(dat's me)]

Thank god Janus! I thought I was the only one with a fluid mistake...

For anyone who doesn't know... transmission fluid with GUNK (to stop a slow drip)... when um... er.... added to the brake fluid area...

Well, it will.... er... lock up your brakes. Was not a good day. Got new brakes all around though as my father grumbled at my stupidity.

Hey... gotta learn somehow!

[speeder]

God, that's some good shiz. It helped me cough up the last of the mucus from the cold that I've had for the last couple weeks.

[Wrecked944]

Originally posted by Mike(dat's me)
Thank god Janus! I thought I was the only one with a fluid mistake...

That's a great story. Glad I could help you feel better about it. I have been told more than once that, "Perhaps the sole purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others."