He said He would RETURN - JESUS CHRIST - Today? - Reply ok?

[Kitty Kate]

Has anyone ever told you how simple it is to go to Heaven when Jesus returns or when this life is over? Well here is the GOOD NEWS! The gift of God is eternal life in Heaven. He gives the gift of salvation freely to all who ask, no matter how late in their lives nor how sinful they have been. God says that all who accept the sacrifice of His sinless Son Jesus Christ as payment for their sins will spend eternity in Heaven, a place where there is no more death, sorrow, sickness and pain. This passage in the Bible says, "For ALL HAVE SINNED, and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) Let's see if you have ever "sinned." We will do so by looking briefly at the Ten Commandments. Have you ever told a lie? If you have, then you are a liar. Have you ever stolen something (value is irrelevant)? Then you are a thief. Jesus said if you look with lust, you have committed adultery in your heart. If you hate, then you have committed murder in your heart. Have you loved God above all else? Have you made a 'god' to suit yourself (having your own beliefs about God)? Have you used God's name to curse, kept the Sabbath holy, honored your parents, or been greedy? Judge yourself--have you broken the Ten Commandments? Knowing that God has seen your thought-life, and every deed done in darkness, will you be innocent or guilty on Judgment Day? You know you will be guilty. So, will you end up in heaven or hell? Don't look to God's "goodness" to save you from hell. If God is good, He will punish murderers, rapists, thieves and liars. He is so righteous, He will punish all sin. The only thing you can do to be saved from His wrath, is to repent and put your faith in the Savior, Jesus Christ. When He died on the Cross, He took the punishment for our sins. He stepped into the Courtroom and paid the fine for us. Then He rose from the dead, defeating death. The Bible also says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) This passage explains how to be saved, "For if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9) You can be saved right now and on your way to Heaven if you will open your heart to Jesus and pray the sinner's prayer out loud. Sinner's Prayer (Say out loud) "Jesus, I need You. I agree with You that I am a sinner. I believe You love me and want to save me. I believe that You bled and died on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins. I believe God raised You from the dead. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life." If you prayed the prayer and meant it, God heard you and has come into you. He has saved you and has given you a new life, because you've been born again and your name is written in the lamb's book of life. You are now a born again believer and a Christian son or daughter of God and you will spend eternity in heaven. Welcome to the family of God. Salvation is not a reward but a gift. The Bible says it this way, "For it is by GRACE you have been SAVED, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the GIFT of God." (Ephesians 2:8) Jesus said, " ... and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out." (John 6:37) Nothing in this world is more important than the redemption that only Jesus can give. The Bible says, "In Him(Jesus) we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins..." (Ephesians 1:7) If you haven't decided yet, please make the only wise decision and walk through this door of forgiveness before it's eternally too late. We don't know exactly when we will die, this is why it is so important to get saved today because you may die prematurely in a traffic accident, terrorist attack or something else before you get another chance. The Bible speaks of two places that we will spend eternity, either Heaven or Hell (a place of eternal torment). Wouldn't it be great to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that no matter what happens from this day forward you are Heaven bound? Oh friend, it would be terrible to die and go to Hell when all you have to do is accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour. How To Find A Good Church Church attendance isn't mandatory for Christians to be saved because Jesus has already given us salvation. Christians should attend church so they can worship God, fellowship with other Christians and learn more about Jesus Christ and the Holy Bible. Answering the questions below with a yes will help you find a good church to attend. Answering no to a question will help you to avoid joining a cult or a false Christian group. 1. Does someone read from the Holy Bible during each service? 2. Do they teach that Jesus Christ is God and came to earth 2000 years ago? 3. Do they teach that Jesus Christ actually died and came back to life three days later? 4. Do they teach that accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour is the only way to Heaven? 5. Do you get a chance to praise and worship God? 6. Are they actively involved in helping people get saved? Chrurch Locator, click here. Here are some Christian websites for you. http://free-hoster.com/jesus http://christjesus.us http://www.media.christiananswers.net http://www.heargoodnews.com http://www.jesusiscoming.com http://www.livingwaters.com http://www.biblehelp.org http://www.islam-exposed.org http://www.focusing-on-islam.com http://www.answering-islam.org.uk/Q-A-panel/index.html http://www.God.net http://www.tbn.org http://www.ifcj.org http://www.iiw.org http://www.lwf.org http://www.jhm.org http://www.greatcom.org http://www.lastdays.org http://www.needhim.org http://www.allaboutgod.com http://www.jesusfilm.org http://www.carm.org http://www.fishthe.net http://www.hellspassion.com http://www.cc.org http://www.jesusaves.org http://www.jesussaves.cc http://www.become-a-christian.com http://www.God.net http://www.TheHopeVideo.com http://www.discovergod.org http://www.the-greatest-gift.org http://www.whoisjesus-really.com http://www.jesusislord.org http://www.jesuschrist.com http://www.god.tv http://www.needgod.com http://www.become-a-christian.com http://www.gospel.com http://www.biblegateway.com http://www.blueletterbible.com

[WOODPIE]

Is this a picture of him on a fish stick? The Son of Cod, maybe?

[beepbeep]

Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, F**k off!

[audi2.7t]

"Dinar for an ex-leper sir"...

[Moses]

Originally posted by Kitty Kate
Don't look to God's "goodness" to save you from hell...

Awww, Christ! (oops!)

[Milu]

It's bad enough when members push their beliefs at us. Let's all send this clown lots of inspirational e-mail

[CJFusco]

I wonder what makes them think that Porsche owners need to be saved?!?

[asphaltgambler]

Like.............where did that come from?? I wonder how long it took to 'type' it?

[elwood-914]

Forgive me I have sinned today...... I went 30 miles over the speed limit.....what will I dooooooooooooooo

[white87911]

If we are ALL GODS CHILDREN, what make JESUS SO FEAKIN SPECIAL??????

[Moses]

Originally posted by WOODPIE

Is this a picture of him on a fish stick? The Son of Cod, maybe?

I'm thinkin' it's a fake! Check this out... (borrowed from unknown website)

Carefully cut little slices of butter and arrange them to make the face of The Messiah, making sure to focus on the crucial beard/mullet areas. Inadvertenty note that "Jesus has a butterface" and immediately feel such tremendous guilt that you break down and pray. Very good, my son.




To go from "breakfast" to "breakfast miracle," slide Jesus into the toaster oven and flip the switch. This doesn't work as well in one of those old-timey, top-loadey toasters because Jesus catches on fire and burns down your apartment, which isn't the kind of "closeness to God" you had in mind.




It's Jesus on your toast! Sure, this could also be Johnny Damon or Rupert from Survivor, but that doesn't matter -- your toast has a Shroud of Turin mysterious iconic look about it that will get those eBay bidders freaking out.




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[john walker's workshop]

ban kitty kat. bad kitty!

[djmcmath]

Moses, that's excellent. I'm going to go make some Jesus-toast now. I figure two or three of those on eBay would buy me those fiberglass parts I "need."

[BOOMER]

[CJFusco]

I think we all know darn well that he won't make his return until April 3....

[speeder]

I was born just fine the first time. Where do these people come from?

[Isabo]

Thanks for the Jesus toast recipe. If I get the opportunity I'll try it on religious visitors and see if they notice
For the rest of this topic...can someone revive the prohibited sex positions or abstinence before marriage threads? much more fun

[ubiquity0]

http://www.funnyjunk.com/movies/51/Kitty+Cat+Dance/stream/large