I find that guilt works far better than beatings - the scars may last longer but at least there is no physical evidence...

Dad spanked me for everything, and yelled most days over little stuff. I never spanked my kids (I don't think). disciplined, yes, time outs, yes, loss of priviledges, yes. They both turned out pretty well.

Daddy would cut my allowance off if I did something bad. I would ususally vocallize my displeasure with this state of affairs....at which time Daddy would tend to pick things up and throw them at me...like a chair....once or twice he even picked up the fire tongs and started hitting me with them...All I could say is, " iIs that all you got to show me Mtherfker?" At which time Daddy would throw the fire tongs down andstomp off to his room mumbling about how no one respects him... After a couple of times I knew the magic words which would set Daddy off...and I said them...Daddy doesn't talk much now adays....and that was when I was 32.....

Now Mother is the insidious one....she once told me to pick up the dog crap in the yard. Being who I am, I just blew her off....When I woke up next mornining my bed had the pecular smell of dog ****...during the night she picked it all up and threw it in my bed with me...

Now can U all see how I turned out to be the rotten SOB that I am...kicked off 2 Message Boards....

The world just wouldn't be the same without you tabs.

Tabs,

My stepfather used your mom's method when we forgot to do the dinner dishes or take out the trash.

It's the one reason we NEVER forgot to walk the dog.

We would work at the shop on weekends, which meant going in at 6:00 A.M.. Well that wasn't so cool to a 12 year old and we were tough to wake up. He would stick his head in the door and say "lets go" and that was your one civil request. If you fell back asleep you got a five gallon pail of water poured all over you and your bed. I can remember him lauging as he walked out of the room:) I think I got it twice, I was a slow learner:)

Suddenly my parents don't seem so bad. :)

wow.

I grew up with a Father and Mother who ruled the house (as they should) and when I did something bad I was spanked. Happened 2 times that I remember and it left a lasting effect on me.

To have someone else poke their nose into my family and say that you cannot discipline my children is way over the line, not to mention any police or city official. That said, spanking is about as far as I would go. Its the mental part of the punishment that hurt, being spanked by someone I loved, more than any pain I suffered.

Feel that you did the right thing and would have done it myself. Someone has to be in charge of the house and it sure as hell is not going to be the kids!

JoeA

Did I mention locking them anywhere, or beating the living crap out of them? You need to stop listening to TV and reading the crap in newspapers and realize that 99% of the families are not like this, or at least not where I live.

Again, its my family and I will do as I please with them, and its not going to be beating or in closets!

JoeA

That which does not kill me makes me stronger...

YES

Dude,

You asked for opinions so here is mine:

Your'e not just an as*hole - your'e a complete moron for acting that way and airing your dirty laundry on the internet.

Needing to ask on a chat board whether the rest of us anonymous folk agree or not that smacking/beating your kids is right or wrong shows weakness of character on you part.

Paging Dr Phil! My best advice is to seek advice from somewhere other then a BBS that is an offshoot of a car forum. Families are much more important then car parts.

Cast the first stone?

He is guilty of very poor judgement on a few counts for sure, but he was man enough to call out to his buds on line. That counts for something.

I think the guilt he is feeling now will sting longer than his son's cheek. I can't agree with a face swat but I also don't like bashing the dude when he is working this thing out either. Lets try to find a balance here. A mans pride and a son's well being are at stack here guys.

This type of "disciplinary" action will not be considered an acceptable form of behavior in years (or perhaps decades, or centuries) to come. Stoning, hanging, crucifiction, whipping, amputation, branding/scarring, et al. were all considered viable and "fair" forms of punishment at one time. Today, we gasp to even think our species was capable of such inhumanity. The same goes for hitting anyone - including your child - you have no right to do so, regardless of your paternal position in the family. It was a violation of his basic human rights.

In todays society, we may (or perhaps may not, by the responses in this thread) deem your actions ok. We are only a product of our times and you were obviously raised to believe this was a valid action. At its core, that's ok that your experiences led you to this belief, however, it is only if you (and everyone else) learn that this is unacceptable behavior that we can progress as a society. You wouldn't want to be stoned to death, would you? I doubt your son wants to be slapped in the face.

What would Jesus do?

AFJuvat,

Whether you were right or wrong is not for us to decide. Actually you could have acted much worse in this situation. Stopping the dispute with a simple slap and leaving to cool off is sometimes the least damaging to all parties.
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Teens seem to have a way of knowing exactly what to say to cause their parents to explode, they know there will be a penalty and they do it anyway. We did the same when we were that age.
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I have a 17 yr old daughter.........She has always been raised around adults and has always considered herself equal to them. This is good in some ways and bad in others.
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I have spanked my kids maybe a total of 2 or 3 times each in their life. It (in my opinion) was well deserved, and it served the discipline purpose.
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My 17 yr old daughter has caused me to react in a manner which required me to replace the bedroom door once......and I do remember repairing the kitchen table once. Not bad for 17 years.
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A simple slap or spanking will not leave any long term emotional scars on a child. Being raised with no rules, respect or discipline will.
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You did the right thing by "sorting" this out with the wife and son the next day. The tension caused by these events is much worse than the event itself.

At one time? With the exception of crucifiction the rest still are in many "civilized" parts of the world.

As a species we still have a long road to travel.

I'm sure they're thrilled to know that you value them as your personal chattel so much. Listen to yourself man - "they're MINE, MINE, MINE!!!. See the problem? Yes your son (until he's 18) is your responsibility however he IS an independent human being and not your personal property or slave. I SERIOUSLY hope you don't really feel that way about your wife.

Just out of curiousity, how many times have the cops been to your place for domestic?

Never seen a cop on the place. My neighbour is a cop and the whole place is together all the time, we never have any issues in this area. He spanks his kids as well when needed. Should I call the Cali 911 number and turn him as a child abuser???

You do not know the slightest about myself nor my family, so get off of your podium and stop telling me, or anyone else how to live with their family. You do not even sign your name to your posts, so why should anyone listen to you???

For being so nosey, my wife does heart transplants for a living and stands on her own two feet just fine. She is German and has more balls than the majority of the guys on the road, and drives a 911 (you know, a real aircooled Porsche) and Jaguar to boot.

Jeez, I just love it when some of the West Coast crowd try to force their "peace and love" ideas on the rest of the country. If you ever visit some of the states East of your location and start spouting off like this, a serious case of arse wupping might just occur.

JoeA