my SUR-REAL taiwan "night out"

[vash]

ok, it started off harmless. we hooked up with my girlfriend's extended family for a banquet style dinner. food was good. BUT! there is a taiwan tradition where instead of eating, you go around the multiple tables with your glass of scotch, or cognac, and you toast and thank each other. i was the new guy, so i had to move around, and people were coming to me and toasting me. i got blasted! falling down, puking drunk. at a family dinner! jen's mom, gave instructions to the cousins that i was rookie and to cut me off. they agreed and i stumbled into a cab for dancing and (egads!) karaoke! we get there and it was broken down into individual rooms. my g-friends was there and there were other female cousins, and some wives. then i looked up and there standing before me was a bevy of ladies. jen looked at me and said, "PICK ONE". WTF!? they were all wearing evening gowns with slits up boths legs so they flowed and ....nevermind. next thing i know, i hear, "i trust you" from jen. and the night got wierd. i picked a cutie, (i think, scotch goggles) and she fed me fruit and water all night, we sang (i suck) and we dances. she kept putting my hands on her ass. i think she gave me a lap dance, but i cannot be sure. the night ended with, jen's bro taking his "chosen one" to some hotel along with another single cousin. my girl kept running off for something and when she did, one of dave's two girls would drag me onto the dance floor and try to kiss me. jen would have dumped me right there at that whore house. and YES I GOT PICTURES! i will post them, when i get stateside. we will banquet it up again tonight, and the cousin who runs that establishment (he calls himself a salesperson to the aunties) told me, same place, same time. tonight i am taking my nikon d70, and i am picking two anime character, hoochie mamas! i still wont get laid tho because of the fact that i am dating the pimps' cousin. damn it. all night i couldnt ask if these were real "pros" because my manderin is no good. but i figured it out when the boss snapped his fingers and the ladies got out of the nightgowns and into street clothing for the ride to the hotel. the boss cousin is now officially in charge of my taiwan bachelor party if it ever comes to that. pictures in a week!

cliff.

[BlueSkyJaunte]

You, sir, are living the good life.

[TerryH]

Originally posted by BlueSkyJaunte
You, sir, are living the good life.

I concur, except for the falling down puking part. That is never fun.

[mikester]

Originally posted by TerryH
I concur, except for the falling down puking part. That is never fun.

...then you're not doing it right.

[RoninLB]

great story

[juanbenae]

bring home samples?

any of these lady cousins of your girl coming state side for a summer visit?

[DonDavis]

Ah yes, takes me back to Thailand. Caligula's 1-2-3, Marilyn's Go-Go...

good times, good times


Can't wait to see the pics!

[grudk]

Sounds like fun, but do be careful. An MD friend of mine did a study for the Thai authorities on HIV. In what would seem to be an odd paradox, there is an extremely high rate of HIV in 'professional' females in Thailand, and not in male prostitutes. This is thought to be due to the fact that many of these girls are essentially 'sold' into the industry (by their families) as children, and are exploited by very large numbers of men (who undoubtedly also sleep with many different prostitututes). The male prostitutes, on the other hand, are often college students or young workers, who stay in the business for only a short time.

[nostatic]

look, don't touch, and take lots of pictures

[TerryH]

Originally posted by mikester
...then you're not doing it right.

I think I've tried every variation. I've walked and puked, driven and puked, slept on the bathroom floor and puked. Can't seem to remember fun during any of those moments.

There were also a couple times during the wrenching dry heaves where I swore if my gonads didn't show up on the next full body cramp, I would never drink again. I think God understood those stressful times and didn't hold me too it.

Now full projectile beer vomit is harmless. You just wash the aftertaste away with another.

[Victor]

Make sure they aren't blokes. (That's Aussie for DUDES, dude.)

Just lookin' out for ya.

[BGCarrera32]

Sounds like a good way to lose a kidney or get an incurable disease...

[vash]

funny, i have never messed with a hooker, although at the same time, i seem facinated with them. i seemed to have picked the only hostess that had a bit of english skills. most of her co-workers are from china. this one was from beijeng. there isnt enough work over there that pays enough, so the girls come to taipei, go to college and "get a night job" to pay the bills. i tried to find out what her major was, but the communication deteriorated because i couldnt lean over to my girl friend and say, "what did she just say?".

i elected not to go the second night, because, deep down inside, i felt my girlfriend was just putting up a brave front for her family. she wanted to lecture the girls. haha.

dont even get me started on the girls of thailand, because that is exactly what they are, little girls. i saw lots of older pervs with rented scooters riding around with little thai 15-17 year olds riding in front of them. that is how parents ride the kids around on scoots, in front. they dont even dress like hooks. t-shirt, shorts, flipflop sandals. i talked to some locals and they said that most of the girls were kidnapped or sold out of cambodia. effed up. i personally like the "to pay for college" story better. i did walk into a bar in patpong, a neighborhood in bangkok. i went in with james, a travel buddy from london. there was a ton of girls without any rhythm dancing on the stage, wearing bikinis and thighhigh boots. i almost got my ass kicked trying to take a picture. some of the ladies were hot, but that is when i heard the kidnapping story. we left.

[pwd72s]

Jeusus! When did sex become so introspective????? (edit) Probably about the time Adam screwed Eve?