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Registered
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 7,953
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Parents - if you don't like your kid's gf or bf, do you tell them?
My son's 14 and so far his girlfriends (he's only had two) have been OK in my book. But I'm sure that one day he'll bring home a girl I will not like for one reason or another. Have you ever had to face this? Did you tell your son or daughter how you felt about their companion? I want the best for my kid so I know I'll be overcritical. I just don't know if I'll be able to hold my tongue if I felt he can do better.
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03-02-2005, 09:21 PM
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Kantry Member
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: N.S. Can
Posts: 6,815
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If the boy brings home a chick that you've nailed, well then, you better have a talk.
Les
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Best Les My train of thought has been replaced by a bumper car. |
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03-03-2005, 05:41 AM
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Unoffended by naked girls
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I always tell my daughters that their new boyfriends are lazy horndog bums. That way, if it works out, they can say "I told you so..."
Hasn't worked out yet.... 
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Dan 1969 911T (sold) 2008 FXDL www.labreaprecision.com www.concealedcarrymidwest.com |
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03-03-2005, 05:46 AM
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Cars & Coffee Killer
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: State of Failure
Posts: 32,246
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Too young for kids, let alone kids of dating age. High school wasn't that long ago for me. My mother always told me that all of my girlfriends were "the work of the devil". It was the ones that she did like (read: frigid) that I knew I had to get rid of.
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Some Porsches long ago...then a wankle... 5 liters of VVT fury now -Chris "There is freedom in risk, just as there is oppression in security." |
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03-03-2005, 05:57 AM
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Im in college and I used to know the dating scene quite well, until I slowed down with my highschool sweetheart and we have been going 4 years strong and yes still dating. Im 20 and i know she would love to get married but we have time. Anyway to the point you sound like you have raised good sons and they should basically work out any bad ones from this system. I did, and my mother would speak her mind on some of em, she was more concerned though that I wasnt being hurt more so I would be miserable. But in conclusion (haha) hes 14 and why I was his age I was young and nieve, im still nieve but my younth has yeildied at least a knowledge of my mistakes, and trust me I had many. He will wise up and find the right one, I wouldnt worry just sit back and hold on for the ride.
BTW if you were wondering my mother loves Vaness (my gf) a little more than her own son I think. ;-)
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Matthew “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” |
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03-03-2005, 06:28 AM
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what is the best for your kid? i am child-less, but historically, i put up with way too much crap from my overbearing mother who always hid behind that shield that says."I ONLY WANT THE BEST FOR YOU!" now i need therapy, and am always seeking approval from everyone. you only know what is best for you, usually but not always. me? if/when i have kids, i want them to be well adjusted and can make decisions and stand up for themselves. there are some major critical areas too look for, drugs, smoking, alcohol, stupid unprotected sex...you know, the basics. other than that, dont get to nitpicky. phew i feel better.
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poof! gone |
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03-03-2005, 11:45 AM
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Double Trouble
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: North of Pittsburgh
Posts: 11,705
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Hell yeah I do...I scare the hell out of all of them anyway.
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I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey..........but I turned myself around.. 75 914 1.8 2010 Cayenne base |
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03-03-2005, 12:46 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Higgs Field
Posts: 22,610
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I just give 'em all the "Ozzy test" (see other tread about him losing it).
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Jeff '72 911T 3.0 MFI '93 Ducati 900 Super Sport "God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn't rule the world" |
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03-03-2005, 01:05 PM
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undervalued member
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if its a son don't worry about it, just make sure he's got, and knows how to use a condom.
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78SC PRC Spec911 (sold 12/15) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7I6HCCKrVQ Now gone: 03 996TT/75 slicklid 3.oL carb'd hotrod 15 Rubicon JK/07.5 LMM Duramax 4x/86 Ski Nautique Correct Craft |
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03-03-2005, 01:37 PM
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Still Doin Time
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Nokesville, Va.
Posts: 8,225
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Quote:
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'15 Dodge - 'Dango R/T Hauls groceries and Kinda Hauls *ss '07 Jeep SRT-8 - Hauls groceries and Hauls *ss Sold '85 Guards Red Targa - Almost finished after 17 years '95 Road King w/117ci - No time to ride, see above '77 Sportster Pro-Street Drag Bike w/93ci - Sold |
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03-03-2005, 01:38 PM
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On a more serious note....
My daughter's first boyfriend in college...well...just wasn't the right guy for her...clearly. We had choices, we could launch into her about the slug, or trust in how we raised her and that water always seeks it's own level. We did the latter. We remained polite to the kid, never said a bad word about him to her...she did us proud. Within a couple months (and boy was it hard to bite our tongues that long) she dropped him like a bad habit, and never looked back. Key phrase is to trust how you raised them, keep the lines of communication open, and they'll do the rest. She is now dating a really great kid, and believe it or not, her mom and I are encourging them to tie the knot!
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Rob Black 1983 911 SC Coupe |
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03-03-2005, 07:29 PM
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Targa, Panamera Turbo
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 22,366
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Best thing to do is show the kid respect no matter what - if it is a boy, treat him like a man, like the new guy at work, if it is a girl, treat her like your wifes long lost friend. Even if the kids are idiots. Acting in any other manner would provide your kid fuel to rebel and they just stay with them to pizz you off. What if they get serious and eventually get married? Treating them poorly only sets up for a bad holiday experience...
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Michael D. Holloway https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_D._Holloway https://5thorderindustry.com/ https://www.amazon.com/s?k=michael+d+holloway&crid=3AWD8RUVY3E2F&sprefix= michael+d+holloway%2Caps%2C136&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 |
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03-03-2005, 07:53 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: New Hamsphire (United States)
Posts: 427
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Quote:
 edit: and his daughter was a selfish, possessive, *****! |
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03-03-2005, 10:00 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Tucson AZ USA
Posts: 8,228
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Interfering too much brings out the rebellion in a teenager. I only interfered on a few occasions.
Instead, I encouraged my daughters to hang around the house with their bfs. Easier to keep an eye on without being too obvious. One time, my older daughter brought this guy home snd introduced him to the family. He looked a bit puzzlede when my daughter said "Well, now you have met everybody." "Haven't met your brother yet." he replied. "Brother," my daughter said, "I don't have a brother." The guy looked at her and said "Then who owns all those neat cars in the back?" True story. And, every so often, the girls would get pi$$ed when their boy friends would come over just to wrench with the old man. Both are happily married now with families of their own. Must have done something right.
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Bob S. former owner of a 1984 silver 944 |
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03-03-2005, 11:23 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Tucson AZ USA
Posts: 8,228
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Interfering too much brings out the rebellion in a teenager. I only interfered on a few occasions.
Instead, I encouraged my daughters to hang around the house with their bfs. Easier to keep an eye on without being too obvious. One time, my older daughter brought this guy home snd introduced him to the family. He looked a bit puzzlede when my daughter said "Well, now you have met everybody." "Haven't met your brother yet." he replied. "Brother," my daughter said, "I don't have a brother." The guy looked at her and said "Then who owns all those neat cars in the back?" True story. And, every so often, the girls would get pi$$ed when their boy friends would come over just to wrench with the old man. Both are happily married now with families of their own. Must have done something right.
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Bob S. former owner of a 1984 silver 944 |
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03-03-2005, 11:32 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 1,025
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Quote:
anyways, i dont have kids, but my mother has always been honest to me about the girls i hung out with and dated, but most of them she like anyways.
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Special Edition 924S 1988 <- SOLD! Asking if you should replace that timing belt is like asking if you should re-use a condom that may have in hole in it with a hooker. |
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03-04-2005, 12:04 AM
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Feelin' Solexy
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: WA
Posts: 3,788
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Erakad, LubeMaster77 and Moneyguy1 are dead on, if you've done a good job of raising the kid he'll be able to sort through them for himself. Be polite and cool, and remember that you're not going to be doing yourself any favors by consciously interfering in this aspect of his life.
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Grant In the stable: 1938 Buick Special model 41, 1963 Solex 2200, 1973 Vespa Primavera 125, 1974 Vespa Rally 200, 1986 VW Vanagon Syncro Westfalia, 1989 VW Doka Tristar, 2011 Pursuit 315 OS, 2022 Tesla Y Gone but not forgotten: 1973 VW Beetle, 1989 Porsche 944, 2008 R56 Mini Cooper S |
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03-04-2005, 05:34 AM
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Super Moderator
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So my advice? Sure you can point out something that bothers you but understand early relationships rarely last, so treat it as it is, temporary. ...and mention your concerns once or twice, don't do it every time they're over.  He's 14 right? they'll be done in a few weeks anyhow. 
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Chris ---------------------------------------------- 1996 993 RS Replica 2023 KTM 890 Adventure R 1971 Norton 750 Commando Alcon Brake Kits Last edited by cstreit; 03-04-2005 at 06:27 AM.. |
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03-04-2005, 06:24 AM
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Cars & Coffee Killer
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: State of Failure
Posts: 32,246
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In high school I dated a girl for two years because her mother hated me (screamed at me for 45 minutes one day). I probably would have lost interest after a few months if I hadn't been so determined to piss her mom off.
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Some Porsches long ago...then a wankle... 5 liters of VVT fury now -Chris "There is freedom in risk, just as there is oppression in security." |
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03-04-2005, 07:40 AM
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Double Trouble
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: North of Pittsburgh
Posts: 11,705
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It's not an attitude thing, ( spelled not a dick) it's an appearance thing. Once they get to know me they realize I'm OK, but first impression is definately " Bring her home the way she left here...got it?" Just think about how you would act if you dated a a girl whose father was a Hells Angel.
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I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey..........but I turned myself around.. 75 914 1.8 2010 Cayenne base |
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03-06-2005, 05:32 AM
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1969 Porsche 911 T 2.0 L
1979 Porsche 911 SC (ROW) Rebuilt 3.0
the 23 car
domino
1983 Porsche 911 SC ROW 3L
1970 Porsche 911 S 
