Is any caulk you can get, good caulk?

[kach22i]

Beautiful Girl Loves to Suck Caulk

SILICONE VALLEY-- Marina Desirez is a young woman with strong family values, a good sense of humor, and a thirst for knowledge. Marina, a 23-year-old student, is tall, attractive, and has many friends at college. But despite her normal outward appearances, Marina is hiding an unusual secret inconsistent with her proper, upright character. You see, Marina is a caulk sucker.

In a conservative society that puts the squeeze on people who engage in peculiar sexual behavior, caulk sucking is considered an unhealthy activity. While caulk itself is not toxic, no more so than white glue, the sucking of caulk is not something that is encouraged, endorsed, or promoted.

Marina, who denies having any issues of low self-esteem, was young and confused when she started experimenting with caulk sucking.

"I started to suck caulk at an early age," admitted Marina, who is still a virgin, and hopes to remain one until she gets married. "I did it because I wanted to impress the boys. They said they were only interested in girls who sucked caulk."

Marina didn't want to be considered frigid, so for her very first time she tried sucking her father's caulk--which she found on a shelf in his toolshed.

"I didn't see any harm in it. All of my girlfriends said they had sucked caulk at least once," said Marina, who states that she still gags from time to time. "Some of them seemed to enjoy it more than others."

But after her first few awkward experiences with sealants, Marina said her caulk sucking became a craving, and then turned into a problem that started to put the squeeze on her. At one time she was sucking two or three different caulks at the same time. Her desire to suck caulk was insatiable.

"I would sneak into the hardware stores, locate the sealants section, and steal a few tubes of caulk from the shelves," said Marina. "I just couldn't satisfy my craving for caulk."

With counseling, Marina thinks she can lick her problem, before it gets a bead on her.

"I've got the support of my family now," said Marina, who was embarrassed at first to discuss her caulk sucking issues with anyone.

"It was tough to swallow," said Marina's mother, when learning of her daughter's problem. "Marina is good and decent. But to find out that she went to these parties and sucked caulk was a shock. But I understand. I had the same problem when I was close to her age. But after I married Marina's father I never sucked caulk again."

Marina's father, like most men, doesn't see anything wrong with sucking a little caulk, but he'd prefer not to know that his daughter had her lips around someone's caulk.

"She's an adult now," said Mr. Desirez. "If Marina wants to suck caulk, that's her own business. At least she's not a weather-stripper."

PS: Sorry Z-Man I just had to post this.

[widebody911]

worst... puns... ever...!

[mikester]

FIRST!

[kach22i]

The title of this thread is really messed up, unless you you are female. Guess I was laughing too hard to think straight.........and no don't read anything into that.

I just know this thread is gone, so I'm not going to worry about it.

[Drago]

This ought to do it...

"I must say, the quality of discourse in this country has taken a sharp plunge of late, not only among the ruffians and ne'er-do-wells from whom one expects coarse speech, but among gentlemen of letters and esteem. I have, with my own ears, several times in the past week, heard the elder sons of prominent families introduce into mixed company subjects formerly reserved for private discussion among gentlemen. It pains me even to raise this point, but following a string of recent events, there is no question that the adage bears repeating: A gentleman ought never to disclose who sucked him off.

This needn't mean a gentleman must limit the discussion of his exploits to his journal. If a gentleman has met a young lady and taken her to his digs, it is his right and privilege to tell his friends and coworkers about the encounter. However, it is the mark of a true gentleman to omit his lady friend's name from the discussion of her pussy's tightness.

Why, I had assumed that this custom and others like it were universal and well understood, but as long as I am spelling out the Rules of the Gentleman, allow me to introduce several other equally important but oft-neglected guidelines.

Should a gentleman find himself alone with a lady, he should not simply undo his pants and come in her hole. A gentleman knows that it is good manners to coax his lady friend's heels as far above her head as they will go, to "split the reed," and perhaps to turn his lady over and give it to her "doggy style." A gentleman knows that a true lady enjoys a moderate amount of hair-pulling and ass-grabbing, taking these attentions as marks of affection and virility. However, a gentleman knows where to draw the line. He never lodges his lady friend's head between the couch cushions.

A gentleman occasionally will have more than one guest at his home. Should he see that jealousy is breeding between the two ladies whom he is hosting, a gentleman does not say, "Whoa, ladies, there's enough of me to go around!" The gentleman, valuing decorum and discretion above all else in his paramours, gently guides his guests' heads from his penis and informs them that if they do not act like ladies, he will have to ask them both to leave.

When up to his nuts in a lady's guts, a gentleman knows that it is quite impolite to smoke, talk politics, or take phone calls. Should his cell phone ring, the gentleman says, "Excuse me, I need to take this." He withdraws his penis from his lady friend and keeps his phone conversation brief. When he has completed his call, a gentleman gently reinserts his dick into his lady.

Of course, a gentleman who is not a smoker keeps an ashtray on his balcony for his lady friends who wish to smoke.

It should go without saying that, once he has arranged for a paid lady of the night to meet him at his home, a gentleman does not jerk off several times while awaiting her arrival, in order to "get his money's worth."

A gentleman knows that accidents happen. While it is an unfortunate and boorish behavior that should be kept to a minimum, a gentleman always apologizes to a lady after he mistakenly shoots his load inside of her.

A gentleman never comes in a lady's eyes.

While he knows that a lady gets pleasure out of pleasuring him, and he will occasionally increase the intensity of that pleasure by gentle force, a gentleman will never choke a woman on his cock.

If a gentleman wishes to attend to a lady's pleasure through oral manipulation, no matter what the state of affairs below, he always politely completes his task. A gentleman ought never to fan his hand in the air, grimace and make a show of removing a pubic hair from his teeth, or compare his lady friend's vulva to two strips of partially grilled fajita meat.

A gentleman knows that it is considered good manners to have an unopened toothbrush on hand for his lady friend, in the event that she should like to freshen up after eating his a$$.

Breeding needn't amount to priggishness. On the contrary, a gentleman knows that good old-fashioned manners will likely increase his social engagements, once word gets out that he is not one to splooge and tell. But I beg the reader, for the sake of tradition and all that is decent, to remember that a true gentleman does not ever, under any circumstances, go a$$ to mouth."

[juanbenae]

you spelled cock wrong. you did mean a fighting chicken right?

[M.D. Holloway]

Kach, the best caulk is the RTV (ready to violate!) kind. I have some friends at GE Silicones - they will roll over this one! Thanks.

[RickM]

Non-Toxic, huh??? Slip her some Phenoseal. She won't take a dump for a year.

[pbs911]

I once sent my ex-wife to pick up some caulk at the hardware store. She didn't know what it was so I told her to just ask the guy "where she could find the caulk." She refused to ask for it by name.

[widebody911]

Originally posted by pbs911
I once sent my ex-wife to pick up some caulk at the hardware store.

Maybe the reason she's your ex wife is due to the fact that she wasn't getting enough caulk at home...

(thank you, I'm here all week, try the veal)

[Mule]

Reminds me of a Mancow bit. A commercial for Carl's House of Caulk. Carl said he didn't care if you needed a little bit of caulk or a whole lot of caulk, he had all the caulk you'd ever need. He had white caulk, black caulk, brown caulk or any color caulk you wanted. The bit ended with a testimonial from a high piched young lady that said, "the other nite I had a crack that needed filling really bad. I went down to Carl's House of Caulk and he had all the caulk I needed."

[widebody911]

Look up the "Dickens Cider" mp3 on google.

[Mule]

got it on the White cotton Panties CD