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The lighting of the fart...
Had to have been under 10 years old...With the supervision of my father I tried to light my older brother's fart with his underwear on. No dice. He pulls them down to try again...Blew out the flame like a candle, no explosion. My turn, I get detonation and got a miniature blue hued atomic bomb looking explosion. No injuries. Pretty damn funny. |
I farted one of those silent but really deadly smelling ones in the organ room of Scotty's Castle in Death Valley during a tour of the castle. Several people around looked at each oather and backed away in a big circle. I did the same and some little old lady ended up getting the rap.
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Chris,
That would have to be right after we swapped in your turbo tie rod kit and I took your car out for a spin...........all those donuts.........and coffee...............and tri-tip and beans from the night before..........sadly, that fart turned into more than I expected and I had to just use your new seats so when I got back into my truck I would be all set :) Ask and ye shall receive !!!!!! heh heh heh -Chris |
Vash farts in my house and Mr Beers in my car. Generous fellas. Next time we get together, I'm eating a breakfast burrito.
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If its just guys, I will let it rip often, regardless - in bars, business meetings even giving seminars. I lift a leg, I let it tear, look at the closest guy straight in the eye and say "your turn fella..." with out breaking a smile or battin an eye. Then get back to it. 100% of the time the crowd breaks down laughing. Shows them that nothing will flap you and you have no shame - of course it also shows you have no class...
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My crowning achievement was years ago, in my younger weightlifting/bodybuilding days. I used to really pack in the protein powder, raw eggs, and other such in my quest to get in my 250 grams of protein a day. I'm not sure the human body is really meant to process all of that... Anyway, most days I couldn't stand to be around myself. One day, in a particularly lame and boring group meeting, with our second level manager and some other VIP's, I snuck out a cloud that made Chernoble look pretty safe. It cleared the room. My immediate manager and the second level were not amused. They wrote up what we call a CAM, a Corrective Action Memo, to put into my employee folder. When it came time for all of us to sit down, discuss the situation, and sign the memo (with a really uptight HR lady there), these guys just couldn't follow through. We all left the room just cracking up, and this HR lady never did get to see what the memo said. |
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'member the story about the squater with the prolapsed rectum? (If not go to Snopes. I won't paste the link here) |
I cracked one in my sleep so hard once I woke myself up...
I thought someone parked a Harley in my bedroom. rjp |
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In the bank a couple of Saturdays ago. Two tellers were working, one elderly lady was making transactions. I was writing down my deposits, and endorsing checks while on the phone with a friend. I let one slip, SDB. It followed me all the way to the counter. It was a bad beer fart, I was proud.
Having worked in restaurants in the past, I would crop dust every chance I got.:D |
In my office about 30 seconds before my secretary decided she wanted to talk to me. It was a short conversation!
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ahh the fart, nature's little laugh factory..
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Personally I let a sharp sounded one out sitting on a metal chair in Sunday school. I must have been 85 db, and I swear it went on for 5 minutes.
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There are fart clips, and then there is THE fart clip:
http://www.darana.org/pics/Fart_Scen...ng_Saddles.jpg Campfire Scene from "Blazing Saddles" |
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