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Joe, next time the Diamondbacks are in Chicago, Jeanette said she would clear her schedule...
Christian.

Speaking of shaving, this morning I was shaving and decided that the back of my neck needed a trimming - seconds later I had removed a chuck of skin the size of a dime! Mutha *****a that hurt! Blood running down my back and chest, dripping into the shower drain. It was like a scene from Psycho. I looked at the razor and there was a big freaking chunk of skin on it! Holy *****! If that was my junk that got hit, I would be in some serious hurt.

I put a towel around my neck and carried on and got dressed. I took the towel out from around my neck and it was soaked in blood! Did I hit a major artery or vain? I was feeling a bit peakish but it could have been a lack of protein and caffiene...

After dressing, I went down to the lobby to meet a rep and while waiting I asked the front desk clerk for a band aid. She complied and I asked if she would put it on me.

"Holy *****!!! I think you need another band aid, maybe stitches. It's still bleeding. It's a good thing your wearing a black shirt. What on Earth did you do? It looks like you got shot!"

"A feeble attempt at personal grooming..."

Lube, that's a bummer... I remember this one time I had a middleschool dance, and had a little bit of what they call... a unibrow. yeah, i'm one of them. Anyway, I tried to fix it myself by just *carefully* using a razor... nope... lopped off way too much of one eyebrow. Going from unibrow to one-and-a-half-a-brow is not cool, very bad for a middleschooler's ego :(

Thank God my girlfriend holds me down and tweezes it for me now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by gassy (Post 2039697)

I'm sitting here with my wife reading the posts. She's an esthetician. She's feeling a strong desire to explain the process for a Brazillian. Yes, men get them too. She waxed the back of my neck once and I almost cried. Anywine, without further adieu, I turn my keyboard over to my lovely wife, Jeanette:

I haven't actually heard a Brazilian called "enhanced", but what the hey... okay, process for a Brazilian (the way I do it):

First you invite your soon-to-be hairless guest onto the table to recline with a towel over their lap. After you cleanse the "area to be enhanced" :) you wax the front of the crotch in smallish strips, all the while engaging the person in mindless conversation. (topic-wise, anything goes when you are staring at a stranger's genitals from 2" away.)

Women are easier, 'cause they don't have any floppy parts to hold to the side, but nevertheless, it's not a comfortable process. The end result is exceedingly worth it, however.

After the front is clear, you make them flip over onto all fours. All their bum-hair is removed, even the hair on that pesky perineum.

Usually it's fun to see a first-timer waddle out with their eyes sort of glazed over, but you know they'll be back after the husband or boyfriend beholds their partner's newly augmented hoo-ha.

The end. Anyone in the area feel free to contact me for an appointment..... :cool:

Mother of God. How did I miss this?

Post of the year. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.