oh what the he11 Poll

[gassy]

Joe, next time the Diamondbacks are in Chicago, Jeanette said she would clear her schedule...
Christian.

[M.D. Holloway]

Speaking of shaving, this morning I was shaving and decided that the back of my neck needed a trimming - seconds later I had removed a chuck of skin the size of a dime! Mutha *****a that hurt! Blood running down my back and chest, dripping into the shower drain. It was like a scene from Psycho. I looked at the razor and there was a big freaking chunk of skin on it! Holy *****! If that was my junk that got hit, I would be in some serious hurt.

I put a towel around my neck and carried on and got dressed. I took the towel out from around my neck and it was soaked in blood! Did I hit a major artery or vain? I was feeling a bit peakish but it could have been a lack of protein and caffiene...

After dressing, I went down to the lobby to meet a rep and while waiting I asked the front desk clerk for a band aid. She complied and I asked if she would put it on me.

"Holy *****!!! I think you need another band aid, maybe stitches. It's still bleeding. It's a good thing your wearing a black shirt. What on Earth did you do? It looks like you got shot!"

"A feeble attempt at personal grooming..."

[bryanthompson]

Lube, that's a bummer... I remember this one time I had a middleschool dance, and had a little bit of what they call... a unibrow. yeah, i'm one of them. Anyway, I tried to fix it myself by just *carefully* using a razor... nope... lopped off way too much of one eyebrow. Going from unibrow to one-and-a-half-a-brow is not cool, very bad for a middleschooler's ego

Thank God my girlfriend holds me down and tweezes it for me now.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Originally Posted by gassy

I'm sitting here with my wife reading the posts. She's an esthetician. She's feeling a strong desire to explain the process for a Brazillian. Yes, men get them too. She waxed the back of my neck once and I almost cried. Anywine, without further adieu, I turn my keyboard over to my lovely wife, Jeanette:

I haven't actually heard a Brazilian called "enhanced", but what the hey... okay, process for a Brazilian (the way I do it):

First you invite your soon-to-be hairless guest onto the table to recline with a towel over their lap. After you cleanse the "area to be enhanced" you wax the front of the crotch in smallish strips, all the while engaging the person in mindless conversation. (topic-wise, anything goes when you are staring at a stranger's genitals from 2" away.)

Women are easier, 'cause they don't have any floppy parts to hold to the side, but nevertheless, it's not a comfortable process. The end result is exceedingly worth it, however.

After the front is clear, you make them flip over onto all fours. All their bum-hair is removed, even the hair on that pesky perineum.

Usually it's fun to see a first-timer waddle out with their eyes sort of glazed over, but you know they'll be back after the husband or boyfriend beholds their partner's newly augmented hoo-ha.

The end. Anyone in the area feel free to contact me for an appointment.....

Mother of God. How did I miss this?

Post of the year. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.