How 'bout a joke?

[Westy]

It's been pretty hot here on OT the last couple of days. Here's a political joke I think most can appreciate,,,,,,

Subject: Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans And Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot? You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.


What do you do?


Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!


Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?





Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?


Could we run away?


What does my wife think?


What about the kids?


Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?


What does the law say about this situation?


Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?


Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?


Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?


Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?


If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?


Should I call 9-1-1?


Why is this street so deserted?


We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.


This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Republican's Answer:


BANG!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Southern Republican's Answer:


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!


BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click


Daughter: "Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

[cstreit]

Funny!

[masraum]

I'm in Texas, I think I know the answer for everyone in the building.

[vash]

knife? no way... i heard he had a bazooka in his living room, and we already killed his a$$.

i would have given the gun to my daughter and let her have the kill. that is what a good dad would do.

[bryanthompson]

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

The real answer is to slap that little smartass upside the head! Not being able to tell the difference between Silver Tips and Hollow Points, sheesh... she should be ashamed of herself! And her parents for not raising her properly!

[Westy]

NOW THAT'S ABOUT AS FUNNY AS THE JOKE!!!!

[yellowline]

The independent's answer:

Aim the gun, yell something, possibly obscene, and see if he stops. If not, well, see the Republican answer.

[alf]

*****, i am Republican and did not even know it.

BTW:They will be Federal Hydra Shocks

[Rick V]

well no true southerner would be caught dead carring around that law inforcement side arm. We carry 44mags or the trusty 1911A1. The latter being my traveling partner.

[MikeCT]

Not political but a good joke nonetheless.

An American spy, a French spy and a Polish spy are all caught by the Russian police. The police tell them they are all going to be killed and they can choose how they want to die. Their choices are a firing squad, being hanged, or being injected with the AIDS virus.
The American goes first and says "go ahead and shoot me you commie b@stards". So the russians shoot him. The French spy goes next and tells them "go ahead and hang me you filthy russian pigs". So they go ahead and hang him. Lastly it is the Polish spy's turn and he says "go ahead and inject me with aids you communist sons a b1tches". So they inject him with the aids virus. The polish spy starts laughing and tells them "go ahead and inject me with the virus again". So the russian police inject him again. Again the Polish spy starts laughing and says to them "HAHA you dumb b@stards I'm wearing a condom".