Chicken wars!

[Isabo]

My usual routine is to spend the week in Milan and weekends and holidays in the mountains. This weekend I stayed in the mountains a couple of extra days as our daughter was staying with us and my husband took a couple of days holiday to play with his latest motorcycle while the weather is clear. My daughter is also a bike nut so they were off playing on the twisties most of the time. So much for my cunning master plan to have assistants clear out the cellar. Next time I suppose.
One of my neighbours also has a routine. She keeps chickens, she lives about a kilometre away but built her chicken coop almost on our boundaries. When she thinks we're away she lets them out to roam, they inevitably find their way through the hedge and crap all over the place. Having to hose down a terrace or a drive or the paved area around the pool rapidly becomes a bore. When confronted, she maintains they sneaked out or that she left their gate open. I haven't the heart to kill them and I don't want a feud with a neighbour anyway.
This afternoon I was sitting in the conservatory when I saw the invasion of the fouling poultry. I saw red. I also saw revenge!
One of my toys is a CO2 powered repeating airpistol with reddot sight and a silencer. A quick check to make sure there were no witnesses and I got to work. Aversion training! The airpistol is very low powered and I don't think even a headshot would kill, especially at a distance. I picked my target, one that was away from the main group, I fired, it jumped and went running off with me following it with the sight and shooting as often as I could, chasing it round the garden with pellets. Reload and a new playmate! The trick is to work the stragglers so you don't frighten off the main group and give them a few minutes pause between victims so they settle down.
I was having the time of my life when I heard an outburst of laughter from my daughter and my husband swearing and pointing out all the offences I could be charged with, he can be a real fuddyduddy about stuff like this when it's not his idea! The next thing I might try is is dipping stale bread in wine and dropping it on the other side of the hedge before they come in, apparently chickens eat it and fall down drunk.
Any other ideas to keep them out? I can't fence off anymore than I already have as there are some rights of way and shared roads.

[}{arlequin]

Originally posted by Isabo
Aversion training!

LOL, that's classic! Very funny Isa. Imagining you chasing and firing has images of Terminator and Matrix coming to mind.

[Moses]

Why not become a chicken rustler?

Cook up a few of the strays. Maybe invite your neighbor over for dinner. Nothing like free range chicken.

[legion]

Get a cat or a dog.

[Isabo]

Originally posted by }{arlequin
LOL, that's classic! Very funny Isa. Imagining you chasing and firing has images of Terminator and Matrix coming to mind.

I was only following with the reddot sight, I'm too lazy to run after chickens. My husband and daughter think I'm crazy anyway

[Neilk]

My father does the same thing in France. He can't stand the noise seagulls make so he shoots them with a pellet gun. It doesn't seem to harm them very much and is very effective. He does it a couple of times at beginning of the season and then a couple more times during late spring/early summer and they don't come back, or at least the circle around the property. Birds aren't as dumb as we think.

[COLDBASS]

Originally posted by legion
Get a cat or a dog.

...or a hawk. I suddenly realized why there are no cats or small dogs around my new neighborhood...

[Overpaid Slacker]

I'd say that the next time you had to clean chicken ***** off of your property b/c of her "carelessness" there might "accidentally" be fewer and fewer chickens returning to their coop.

If it's legal to discharge real firearms on your property, next time they come on, fire a few rounds (not nec. at the birds) but if she's only a kilometer away she'll hear the shots...

Or, rather than hose all the chicken ***** off, scoop it up, and leave it all over her doorstep, with a little note.

She's obviously not at all concerned about being a good neighbor herself, or avoiding a feud with you.

How about making a trail of chicken feed out into the road?

JP

[gaijindabe]

The aroma of Bar-b-q chicken, with a few plucked feathers in sight will convince the neighbor to move the coop or otherwise keep them locked up when your around.. Be glad you dont hear them at daybreak. That is worse than the chicken $hit.

[R Wilco]

I always heard you could soak hot dogs in antifreeze and feed them to dogs. It appentently has an enticing smell/ taste. Unfortunately it is supposedly a painful death. I guess you could soak some pop-corn or bread in the stuff? Better yet get a dog. Chickens do not like dogs.

[pwd72s]

Originally posted by Neilk
My father does the same thing in France. He can't stand the noise seagulls make so he shoots them with a pellet gun. It doesn't seem to harm them very much and is very effective. He does it a couple of times at beginning of the season and then a couple more times during late spring/early summer and they don't come back, or at least the circle around the property. Birds aren't as dumb as we think.

A man was arrested along the Oregon coast recently for shooting and killing a seagull. The arresting officer asked why he shot a seagull. The man responded that he ate them. The officer then asked what they tasted like. "Spotted Owl" (I'll bet Isa thought I was going to say chicken )

[arcsine]

As my pups would say "chicken.....yummy treats-on-feets"

[stomachmonkey]

As Slacker said,

She's obviously not at all concerned about being a good neighbor herself, or avoiding a feud with you.

Very true. She's pissing on your head and telling you it's raining.

It's not really the chickens fault so harming/killing them while easy and possibly satisfying is not really right and may get you in trouble with the law.

I vote for scooping the poop and giving it back to her.

Or try this, next time the chickens come back round up a couple of the easier ones to recognize, hide them somewhere, go to the market and get some "fresh" kills and drop them of with a note.

Don't worry about pissing her off, she obviously could care less about you and has no respect for you whatsoever.

Scott

[Jeff Higgins]

Why not build your own chicken coop? It seems you could fill it up pretty easy...

[M.D. Holloway]

flame thrower - that way you can multi-task (kill & cook all in one!)

[oldE]

Forget about the dog, unless it is a retreiver. We had a similar problem about 25 years ago. We got back into the yard from a walk to find our dog pulling the tailfeathers out of one of our neighbor's straying chickens. The others were just standing around, awaiting their turn. To discourage the dog from killing chickens in the future, I started to pick up the semi-plucked bird in order to dicipline the dog. The chicken got up, shook itself and ran off! (That one never came back)
I would say: save your red wine for a nice sauce for the next bird you catch on your terrace. Thank your neighbor for sending the presents.
Les

[Willem Fick]

My cousin has an electric fence around his farmstead, with the lowermost line also running live. When chickens stray into them it's a quick and painless death....

An added benefit is the saving in petfood - his dogs have come to learn that an alarm at the fence is the dog equivalent of KFC!

Cheers!

Willem Fick

[}{arlequin]

Isa is the mischievous type... I don't think she'll be into *scooping* any refuse just to deliver it a KILOMETER away. I wouldn't. She's looking for a solution that's sinister, yet fun.

[legion]

She could leave a bunch of rubber chickens in her neighbor's driveway...

She could paint little targets on the chickens...

[gaijindabe]

This is all in good fun, but for a weekend/holiday place - my best advise is to get along with the locals. Think about it, you are not there most of the time.. Best to turn thy cheek and love thy neighbor..