no sex tonight

[air-cool-me]

"""NO SEX TONIGHT!

Reply to: anon-60286784@craigslist.org
Date: Fri Feb 18 09:18:00 2005


I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. """
"


http://austin.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/60286784.html

[TerryBPP]

Its funny how some men go there whole lives trying to figure out women and others that know what they want instinctively.

[Panzer909]

Nick, and you're wasting your time with this woman..............because??

[Oh Haha]

I love my wife but how many guys would die happy if we could do this once? BTW-Today is our wedding anniversary.

[livi]

Your The Man, Nick !

[widebody911]

Wow, it's like R.H.F circa 1993 all over again.

[rattlsnak]

OMG, that was GREAT..!

[dhoward]

Originally posted by TerryBPP
Its funny how some men go there whole lives trying to figure out women and others that know what they want instinctively.

[asphaltgambler]

Good GOD Man!!! I say BRAVO to you!! Here-Here!!!

Please tell me you caught this on video!! Just name your price!!

Sounds to me like you're the modern-day version of Jack Nicholson in Carnal Knowledge!!

By the way if anyone has that audio clip of Jacks rant. I will pay for it!!

[Superman]

I have four sisters and no brothers. I have two daughters and no sons. And I find the female of the species completely mystical. But it does make for interesting thinking and discussion. For example, in a recent conversation with a woman, she pointed out the very logical reason why women seem always on the lookout for a man's emotional commitment. You see, women live in a world where have the creatures want to boink them. And pretty much all of those creatures also want to boink all the other women. So, having a man want to bed you is standard fare for them. The specialness they are looking for is a man who wants to bed only THEM, and not everybody else too.

By contrast, I pointed out that being a man is kinda like being a very ugly woman. Most of the time, nobody wants to bed you. When it looks like somebody might, that's special.

Men and women are each looking for something special, but they're coming from different situations and the special thing they are looking for is different.

I could go on and on. I think women are very interesting creatures. And very dangerous. At this point, I think I'd rather fight a lion than attempt another emotional relationship with a woman. I've never fought a lion before, but it has to hurt a lot less.

[legion]

I saw this joke circulating on e-mail a few years ago...

[arcsine]

Women do sex to get love and men do love to get sex.

[Dan Mc Intyre]

I say "slap the clown" and call it a night.

[targa911S]

Originally posted by arcsine
Women do sex to get love and men do love to get sex.

Thruth!

[Jeff Higgins]

It is said that a woman marries a man hoping she can change him. A man marries a woman hoping she will never change.

[targa911S]

Also truth.

[scottmandue]

Originally posted by legion
I saw this joke circulating on e-mail a few years ago...

Heard it on comedy channel last week.

[air-cool-me]

not me...... found it on craigslist





the link... as it was in the first post.