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Stay away from my Member
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Agoura, CA
Posts: 5,773
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My pathetic 39th birthday story
So, yesterday I hit the depressing age of 39.
A few weeks ago, my wife advised me that she "had to" attend a conference in Vegas this weekend, and wouldn't be around for my birthday. I said, "Hey, I'd be up for a Vegas trip, it's been like 5 years!!!". She replies, "But we're sharing a room"...speaking of two of her employees also going to the conference...18 and 22 year old females who are not hard on the eyes by any means. I respond, "and the problem with that is?????". Well, my feeble attempt to get myself invited to Vegas did not work, so I spent my birthday evening with a bottle of scotch, a cigar and the TV remote. Late this morning, my wife calls. "Ughh...we are sooooooo hung over. Just woke up. Missed the first two workshops." So far, pretty standard Vegas. She continues, "Yeah, well you remember my friend 'Century' (apparently her real name although it sounds like a stripper stage name...and she IS a stripper) from ice skating, right? (Wife is a skater, used to compete in USFSA adult events at the national level). " "We got reeeeeally hammered last night and ended up calling Century, who said she was working, so we figured what the hell, let's go!" So apparently they were out until 2:30-3am doing girl-on-girl lap dances and who the hell knows what else!!! And the worst part -- there are NO PICTURES (at least none she would confess to, yet)!!!!! Happy effin' birthday to me, eh?
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Chris C. 1973 914 "R" (914-6) | track toy 2009 911 Turbo 6-speed (997.1TT) | street weapon 2021 Tesla Model 3 Performance | daily driver 2001 F150 Supercrew 4x4 | hauler |
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10-01-2005, 02:56 PM
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Where is that wrench?
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Irvine, CA
Posts: 1,415
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This thread is worthless without pictures.
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10-01-2005, 03:04 PM
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I bet tabs has pictures
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1983 944 - Sable Brown Metallic / Saratoga / LSD : IceShark Light Kit |
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10-01-2005, 03:05 PM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: N. Phoenix AZ USA
Posts: 28,969
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Your wife goes out of town on your 39th birthday. Please tell me this is a joke. Does she have a sister in Baton Rouge who is going out with someone named Tom?
Personally I would go to Vegas, get a room myself, hook up with Tabs and send her some forking photos... this just aint right. Other option is to jet over to Phoenix and I know some ladies who would not stop at lap dances for a birthday boy... JoeA
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2021 Subaru Legacy, 2002 Dodge Ram 2500 Cummins (the workhorse), 1992 Jaguar XJ S-3 V-12 VDP (one of only 100 examples made), 1969 Jaguar XJ (been in the family since new), 1985 911 Targa backdated to 1973 RS specs with a 3.6 shoehorned in the back, 1959 Austin Healey Sprite (former SCCA H-Prod), 1995 BMW R1100RSL, 1971 & '72 BMW R75/5 "Toaster," Ural Tourist w/sidecar, 1949 Aeronca Sedan / QB |
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10-01-2005, 03:09 PM
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least common denominator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Pedro,CA
Posts: 22,506
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39! A mere child...
You should have sent up a emergency flare on the old pelican BBS... I'm sure a couple of the boys would have dropped by to help you evaporate some scotch and bad mouth women.
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Gary Fisher 29er 2019 Kia Stinger 2.0t gone  1995 Miata Sold 1984 944 Sold I am not lost for I know where I am, however where I am is lost. - Winnie the poo. |
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10-01-2005, 04:23 PM
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Detached Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: southern California
Posts: 26,964
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Agoura is less than 30 minutes from here!
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Hugh |
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10-01-2005, 05:12 PM
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Re: My pathetic 39th birthday story
Quote:
Something is very wrong here. :-(
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techweenie | techweenie.com Marketing Consultant (expensive!) 1969 coupe hot rod 2016 Tesla Model S dd/parts fetcher |
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10-01-2005, 05:44 PM
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happy birthday! dude, pack a bag and gather up the guys. next weekend is yours. LAS VEGAS! tell a few strippers your story, and i bet....well, i bet nothing. you know.
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poof! gone |
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10-01-2005, 07:08 PM
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Look at the bright side, and take a note from the womens playbook. You now have a free pass for a future wild night with the boys. Make it count
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ßrandon |
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10-01-2005, 07:20 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: St. Louis Missouri
Posts: 1,454
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er...quid pro quo is boy-on-boy lap dances!
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10-01-2005, 07:22 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Linn County, Oregon
Posts: 48,600
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Ever thought of just leaving? I mean, not be there when she comes back? What a female dawg... On the other hand, where's she staying in Vegas?
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"Now, to put a water-cooled engine in the rear and to have a radiator in the front, that's not very intelligent." -Ferry Porsche (PANO, Oct. '73) (I, Paul D. have loved this quote since 1973. It will remain as long as I post here.) |
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10-01-2005, 07:31 PM
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Banned
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: los angeles, CA.
Posts: 41,306
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Happy Birthday, Chris!
 And yes, you do have carte blanche to go find some strange ass next weekend. ("Wedding Crashers" reference). |
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10-01-2005, 07:52 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Seattle--->ShangHai
Posts: 2,837
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Good present, an unlimited get out of jail card!
As Brandon said, remember this incident in every detail, make up some sappy story about how your feelings were shattered and all that. Bring it up everytime you get into a fight with wife or want your way.
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88 Carrera Coupe Pelican Since 2002 All Zing, No Bling. ok, maybe a little bling. The Roach |
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10-01-2005, 07:56 PM
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RETIRED
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Wellhelllsbells....when I called to see if you were OK from the fires you should have said something.
Happy Birthday, you don't look a day over 38.
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1983/3.6, backdate to long hood 2012 ML350 3.0 Turbo Diesel |
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10-01-2005, 07:58 PM
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Sounds like you've got good ammo for a great 40th. I'll be 39 next year, thats when I'll start priming the wife for my 40th present, wink wink nudge nudge.
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2014 Cayman S (track rat w/GT4 suspension) 1979 930 (475 rwhp at 0.95 bar) |
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10-01-2005, 08:22 PM
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durn for'ner
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: South of Sweden
Posts: 17,090
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Sounds strange behaving like that on your wifes part. As mentioned you now do have a great torque argument on your hand when needed in future conflicts.
I have the opposite dilemma. My 40th coming up January - and I would prefer it pass unnoticed but my woman is dead set on a celebration with no cost limit and at least a hundred people invited (of which I´m familiar with a few).. Can´t see how I´m supposed to avoid it though... 'I am doing it for you, honey...'
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Markus Resident Fluffer Carrera '85 |
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10-02-2005, 03:35 AM
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PRO Motorsports
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Burbank, CA
Posts: 4,580
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We'll throw you a huge 40th, and your wife's not invited.
Or better yet, we'll throw you a huge "it's your wife's birthday!" party, and she's not invited. Dude, she SUCKS! My girlfriend went on vacation during my birthday, and didn't call me to wish me a happy birthday. But at least she celebrated it with me on a different day.
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'69 911E coupe' RSR clone-in-progress (retired 911-Spec racer) '72 911T Targa MFI 2.4E spec(Formerly "Scruffy") 2004 GT3 |
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10-02-2005, 11:30 AM
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today is my birthday. just got a call from some former students at the massage school. today is graduation, and i am invited. BYE!!!!
 
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chance favors the prepared mind 1987 944 n/a 5spd. who remembers dial phones?. 'STOP FIXING THINGS ONE STEP BEFORE YOU BREAK SOMETHING ELSE" |
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10-02-2005, 12:19 PM
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vott does ziss do?
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Seattle
Posts: 6,676
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reality check. she didn't have to go to Vegas, she wanted to go
without you
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10-02-2005, 02:08 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: San Diego
Posts: 3,841
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Your wife owes you big. Skipping your birthday for a legitimate work assignment is one thing, but this sounds like another.
At the least, Century and crew should be the entertainment at your 40th.
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Remember our friends: Warren, Ron, Grady, and Steve. 76 912E RS (i.e. "Real Slow"); 63 Volvo P1800 "S"; 71 Jaguar XJ6 Series 1; 05 GT3; 23 Cayman GTS 4.0; 97 Boxster |
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10-02-2005, 05:56 PM
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1983 Porsche 944 2.5 NA
Sinister Dove
Gemini Boomerang
Porsche 996 Turbo Convertible
996 Turbo
1987 Porsche 911 Carerra
Da cab
1979 Porsche 930 3.4
1987 Porsche 944 2.5
