Dinosaur Find, Murder Site or BBQ Remains - the Makings of a Young CSI

[M.D. Holloway]

The results of the Discovery Channel. The Boy found some bones out in the woods and is bound and determined that they are dinosuar bones. My best guess is that they are cow bones but I don't want to burst his bubble yet. He wants to take them to a Museum. I told him when the semester starts, we can go visit the University were I adjunct and talk to some Scientists about them. He did this all on his own - he was very carefull not to mess them up, even used a eye dropper to dispense water on them and use some small paint brushes remove debris. I hope tey are not human rib bones!

[dhoward]

Look like spareribs to me.
Mmmmm.......ribs....

[Superman]

Mmmm, ribs.

[david.avery]

Lube, aren't kids cool that way? My 7 year old son dis-assembled his 5 year old brother's bike for the training wheels (to make a robot) and just yesterday, applied an entire 20lb container of ice melter to a 5' * 2' section of ice on our driveway.

[island_dude]

They look like beef ribs to me. Pretty cute though. I would hate to burst the bubble of a budding scientist.

[KFC911]

They're dino-ribs for sure...better w/ a dry rub IMO

[M.D. Holloway]

tcar - thats his lil sis. Of course he instructed her that these were valuable and she was not supposed to touch them and only lokk "cuz they might go into a museum right Dad!"

[Nathans_Dad]

Hey, sweet shirt that kid has on...

Go Cowboys!!

[dhoward]

Yeah, and isn't that a G9 "I'm hot with green socks" shirt on li'l sis?

[M.D. Holloway]

Rick - ya, in theory but the way the played on Sunday I'm not to sure he will wear it again anytime soon!

Don - unfortunitly, our buddy Shaun doesn't make clothes small enough for her. She is a natural for his girly girl stuff though. Few more years and maybe she can be a cover girl for him?

[dhoward]

[Jeff Higgins]

Great stuff, Mike. I remember when my kids were that age and really into that stuff.

Anyone remember the old Smithsonian letter rejecting fossil claims? A classic, reprinted for your enjoyment: (A fake, by the way, but funny none the less.)

Paleoanthropology Division
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078

Dear Sir:

Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie". It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it's modern origin:


1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.

2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.

3. The dentition pattern evident on the "skull" is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the "ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:

A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.

B. Clams don't have teeth.
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in it's normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name "Australopithecus spiff-arino." Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.

However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the "trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix" that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.

Yours in Science,

Harvey Rowe
Curator, Antiquities

[M.D. Holloway]

reminds of the time this summer when I was cutting the grass in the back yard. For some reason I looked up on the roof of the house in back of us and saw a very strange thing. I swore to Gawd that there was a fat, white snake of their roof, all curled up. I told a neighbor and she told a neighbor and with in 10 minutes we must have had about 10 people in our back yard looking at this roof speculating what sort of snake it was and how the heck it got up there. The owners of the house saw us and came out. They started laughing at us, "Its a dog's chew toy you numbskulls!".

I am sure it will be sometime before I gain any credibility back!

[vash]

i was doing an internship with TEXDOT. the contractor was trenching a....well a trench, for a sewerline. downtown , el paso. alone the line there was some loose dirt. right when we were going to install the trenchplate, a skeleton tumbles down. screeeeeeeech! the project came to a halt, and the police came to investigate. i asked the lead detective what he was looking for. he said, just checking to see if a crime was commited. IMO, the confederate era uniform was a clue that if this was a crime, it was an old crime. coolest work-week in my life. arch students picking for trinkets...

[M.D. Holloway]

Serious museum piece! Always thought being a construction worker you had the opportunity to unearth some cool stuff. When was that? Did they find anything else?

I once stubbed my toe on a cannonball - it was in the sand on a private beach in Newport.

[vash]

it was in 1998. i tried to do a search. apparently they found another in 2004. some location. the archives only go back to 99, so i cant find the exact one

in san francisco, i have found some ancient marbles. and old jars. if i find an old toy, i will mail it to your kid, to keep the intrest fires burning.

[island_dude]

I found some WWII remains in a wreck once. Pretty gross actually. There is something not cool about needing to puke into your regulator.

[dhoward]

Just feedin' the fish....

[Jeff Higgins]

About fifteen years ago here at work they were excavating for the pad for a big new CNC machine. The pit was about six feet deep, over 100 feet long, and about 50 feet wide. I happened to be downtown one day so I swung by the Ye Olde Curiosity Shop (old Seattle landmark) and bought a handfull of cheap "Indian" arrow heads. Tossing them into the pit as a (in hindsight rather poorly thought out) joke halted digging for a couple of days. I never did fess up (till now...)

[M.D. Holloway]

Jeff,
That is pretty funny, though cruel. I have thought about "juicing" the woods with some memorable finds for him but that may stoke the fire to the point where I would never get him out and end up loosing all my yard equipment to his "dig site".

May this summer when we are in Iowa, I can convince him to do a road trip up to South Dakota and do a little bad lands - place is riddled with dino bones.